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You know your obsessed with Kill Bill when


#1

1. You kill people in tight yellow uniforms.

2. Your name is Buck and you like to fuck.

3. You drive a truck with the words “Pussy Wagon” on the back.


#2

you spend your sunday evening listening to Johnny Cash in a rocking-chair with a shotgun in your hands and a spitbucket next to you


#3

You start calling everyone ‘Kiddo’


#4

-You start hiding a gun in your cereal box.

-You begin dissing anybody who owns a Ferrari.

-You name your first-born child “Son Number 1”.

-You kill every motherfucker in your town if someone doesn’t return a nod.

-You cut off your girlfriend’s face and think you’re being nice.


#5

You attempt to kill someone, then offer them some coffee later.


#6

You constantly get fired, then you come back to work and get fired again. The cycle continues until you’re killed.


#7

-You step on your fish “just to see what’s gonna happend”

-You buy a snake on the internet, put it in a bag filled with money and then you give it to an old working-buddy.

-You ask your karate/kung-fu/whatever-teacher if he can teach you the five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique (I told my friend to do that once… :p)


#8

You know you’re obsessed with Kill Bill when…







…You can’t say a sentence without putting the word “gargantuan” somewhere in there.



…travelling by bus, you say to the driver “Okinawa…one way!”.



…You wake up in the morning screaming/crying “My baby, my baby” whilst caressing your stomach.



…Everytime you visit a wedding rehearsal, you end up massacring everyone.



…You grow a 2ft beard, just so you can stroke it whilst shouting “muahahahah”.



…You whistle “Twisted Nerve” everytime you walk into a hospital.



…You ask your friend to bury you alive 6ft into the ground, just so you can show them that you have the capability of escaping needing only a torch and a knife.



…You scour the Earth looking for The Lonely Grave of Paula Schultz.



…You go around spitting tobacco juice on people and saying “I win”, thereafter.



…You read the book “The Carrucan’s of Kurrajong”



…You name your daughter “Melanie Whorehouse”



…You spend years and years in a laboratory trying to make a truth serum and call it “The Undisputed Truth”



…When a friend asks you where someone else is, you reply “He is on the road to Salina. I will draw you a map”.



…You go around stalking people in an ice-cream truck.


#9

^^^ Haha, those are hilarious. ;D


#10

…You go mad listening Ironside.


#11

You fly with your Hattori Hanzo-sword beside you


#12

…you go to Okinawa, searching for Hatori Hanzo

…you surround yourself with father figures even though you aren’t fatherless

…whenever you see somebody you dislike you make siren noises

…you practice punching your hand into a wooden plank just like Beatrix

…every time you fix yourself a sandwich you mumble something about stepping on a goldfish


#13

[quote=“zeppelincheetah”]
…you go to Okinawa, searching for Hatori Hanzo
[/quote]
When I’m 18 … :wink: ;D


#14

[quote=“zeppelincheetah”]
…whenever you see somebody you dislike you make siren noises
[/quote]

That one made me laugh.


#15

haha “wheee,whiiii,wheee,whiii. dap daram, darap daaaaaa” :wink:


#16

Yeah boy I didn’t know Sebbie boy has his ecstacy moments.


#17

You walk down stairs like you are having an epileptic fit.

You do acrobatics while listening to “Knowbody But Me”.

You freak out on people with Auld Lyne Singe ringtones.

You wear your shit kicker hat to work.

You have more than one pair of aviator sunglasses.

You drive your motorcycle through a red light.


#18

You tend to sort out your differences with old friends and lovers by way of the samurai


#19

You know your obsessed with Kill Bill when you goto the hospital and fuck some coma patient using a glob of the worlds dirtiest vaseline rubbed all over your cock.



;D



Im a dirty guy, i know.


#20

When a pleasent dinner with your ex ends up with a sit-down sword fight

When the thought of hotel flower deliveries makes you a little edgy

You read comics just for their mythology and to critc how they reflect the human condition

When you dont expect to buy samurai swords, you demand to be GIVEN one