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Worst Cinema Experiences?


#1

I’ve been rather fortunate with my movie-going experience at the cinema, it’s hardly ever proven problematic. There have been a few things which have annoyed me:


  1. When we went to watch Sin City, there was this guy behind me who kept laughing through every scene. It was like he’s never seen violence before or “cool moments”. The thing is, it seemed the only way he could react to what he saw onscreen was laughing and let me tell you, his laugh was annoying as fuck. It came so close to ruining my whole experience, but I chose to block the fucker out.


  2. When I went to watch Kill Bill: Volume 2, I went with 8 other friends and a few of them really didn’t like it at all. Towards the latter third of the movie they kept shouting things. For example during the scene where Budd says “Is she the cutest piece of blonde pussy you ever saw? Or is she the cutest piece of blonde pussy you ever say?” and his buddy replies “I’ve seen better”, my friends were like “Damn fucking right”. They even resorted to shouting out “BORING” and proceeded to throw popcorn and other foodstuff in front of them. Then they began throwing it at each other. During fucking Volume 2!! Couldn’t believe it.


  3. When we went to watch Hero, during the middle section (especially the scene where they fight on the lake), there was this annoying fucking line running across the screen. It was there for about 15 minutes and detracted from the film.


  4. When we went to watch Saw III (not my choice btw), there was this usher dude who must have been like 18. He was really skinny and scrawny, wore glasses, shirt tucked into his trousers which came up to his stomach, you know the type. Well he proceeded to stand in front of everyone before the film started giving us with what seemed like a fucking tutorial on the cinema experience. He must have been there for 10 minutes telling us about things like how we should behave, switching our phones off, warning us that the film might be violent etc. You could tell he was nervous as fuck, and I’ve never known any cinema to have done that before, in the UK. Also, the room was full of uni students and they ate the fucker alive. Swearing at him, clapping him when he slipped up (he was stuttering a lot and was barely audible) making all sorts of remarks. EVERYONE was against him and having a laugh at his expense. The highlight was when he plucked up the courage to actually answer back to somebody’s insult, it was hilarious. But the whole thing pissed me off, almost ruined my mood.





    So what are your worst cinema experiences? I wanna hear some juicy ones.

#2

The fourth experience you listed reminded me of when I saw HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES. I loved the movie, so it was the reverse in this case. I had to drive 45 minutes out of my way because it was the only theater showing it when it came out. For me, it was worth the drive. Especially in the theater I saw it in. Perfect grindhouse experience. An usher actually came out and introduced the movie. He was a lot cooler than that schmuck you described.



When I went to see DEAD SILENCE, which, again, I loved (James Wan’s love for Bava comes right off the screen), a few trailers in, this horribly annoying scratchy hum began to hiss through the right/front speaker. Once the movie had been on for about ten minutes and the noise wasn’t going away anytime soon, I went out and found an usher and told her. She came in to hear it for herself and… couldn’t hear it. And I was the only person in the audience to complain about it. I was dumbfounded that she couldn’t hear it. Another usher followed her in. He didn’t say a word. The girl concentrated a little more and lo and behold, good job, kiddo, she heard it. “Maybe it’s supposed to sound that way,” she said. I just stared at her. “Well, I dunno. I’m not sure what to do.” And they just turned and walked out. I was so pissed. I just decided, you know what, fuck it. I’ll just live with it. The noise went away after a while. And then came back. And went away. And came back. It wasn’t loud. But it was annoying. Especially when the sound went out in the movie. I eventually saw it again at a dollar theater, no problems. But when I went back to the same cinema with the problematic noise to see HOT FUZZ, they set it up in the same theater I saw DEAD SILENCE in. And halfway into the trailers guess what happened? Thankfully it went away before the movie started, or it would have been ON.



How about the cinema closest to me that cuts the projector once the end titles begin? Oh, when they did that after AT WORLD’S END…



Or when, in the middle of KING KONG, when the advertisement slide projector turned on automatically once the brontosaurs began to stampede…


#3

When I went to see Live Free or Die Hard me and my friends sat infront of these 11 or 12 years old (they may have been 13, but they sounded little high pitched squeaky voices), I didn’t think I was going to have a problem. During the course of the movie the kid sitting behind me was putting his knees on the back of seat, then he’d put him down and back up again. Very annoying. Then they’d repeat “cool” lines that were just said in their annoying little voices. And when Bruce Willis said something about the “dead asian bitch” or whatever they said, all 5 of them were like, “oh no he didn’t!” And they’d repeat 2 or 3 times. At the end of the film where he says “yipee kayay motherfucker!” they all repeated it. And that was that.


#4

Seeing Uwe Boll’s ‘House of The Dead’ in the cinema…thats all.


#5

I cant really remember which film it was, but back in Sydney a friend of mine kept going to see all these movies really late… so we were near the back and the place was about two thirds full mostly with deadbeats… i was trying to watch the film but the annoying thing was there were these two kids in the front rows moving about occasionally throwing various sweets and one hit my friends little brother in the eye so then my friend stood up and he had one of those hard red candy’s like a cross between a jaffar and a jawbreaker… he pegged it at one of the kids and even though my friend was a small kind of guy he basically had a cannon for an arm… And it made this whistling sound when it flew before wapping the kid in the head… i think he may have hurt the kid badly… but at the time i couldn’t stop laughing…


#6

In Blood and Bones some of the audince felt the necessity to laugh every time Kitano rapes or beats someone



Kids trying explain the plot of Batman Begins to each other during the movie.



Not a bad experience but an interesting one; In Formula 17 I realized half the audience really was gay (there’s isn’t a single straight character in the movie, and only two women apper in the film very briefly (one in background shot, and neither have dialogue)). The guys behind me were discussing about their relationship, and the one in front of me kissed each other. Not really a problem but started thinking what I was the only guy there who isn’t gay, lol. And what if somebody came to ask me out after the movie, haha.


#7

Okay, didn’t happen to me but some guys I told to use the chance and go watch Psycho on the big screen, there was this film fest. They didn’t know it, first time and all, actually quite a thing to get to watch it in a theatre for the first time, isn’t it? So yeah, after the movie I ask them how was it and they told me something so stupid I couldn’t believe it. The film projector was either an idiot or just had decided to quit his job in style, as he shamelessly put the last reel on in the very beginning, right before Vera Miles goes down in the basement. Guys said they didn’t understand what the hell was going on, but thought it’s some suspense-like intro, until they got to see “THE END” and only THEN the whole movie from the beginning. I can’t believe nobody in the audience said anything too, was it the first time for the whole goddamn lot? Pretty ironic





Oh yeah, another one, this crazy couple next to me during The Simpsons Movie. The guy was an idiot and I couldn’t believe the girl was going out with him. He had the most annoying laugh in the UNIVERSE, and he didn’t hesitate to use it at every goddamn joke he saw. He also explained jokes to her, the dumbass. When Homer said something like “I’m sick of USA, let’s go to Alaska” he was like “hahahhaha you know why this is funny? This is funny because Alaska is actually a part of America” and so on. Hopeless


#8

During KB Volume 1 there was an asshole behind me who actually went “Ha-ha!” went the Bride found out she lost her baby and cried about it.



Now there’s a guy who I would like to see gunned down in the street.



@Ify: that’s awful about Vol.2. I think those friends are fuckin idiots.


#9

The opening day I went to see it, some guy and his 10 year old kid were sitting behind me. The kid was speaking the chapters out loud. “CHAPTER ONE: TWO ha ha ha!” I was ready to turn around and tell the kid to STFU or beat his ass but I held it in. I almost got up and moved too. I was SUPREMELY PISSED!!



Theres definitely a difference between “We’re all having a great time watching this movie” laughter and cheers and that annoying “This movie is beneath me” type laughter. I can pick it up so fast.



Also when I went to see Grindhouse this fuckin loser in front of me was watching the film with his hands on his head. That annoyed the shit outta me too. I was thinking: PUT YOUR FUCKIN HANDS DOWN YOU STUPID FUCK!!


#10

I went to watch The Simpsons Movie again today as it was my little sister’s first time at the cinema. Well I have never seen so much movement in and around the cinema room in my life. There were quite a few kids in this particular showing, kids were talking all over the place, three little kids got up with their grandma left then came back, loads of other instances of people getting up (probably for drinks and the loo), one guy and his little kid kept kicking mine and my sister’s seat from the back, I eventally turned around long enough to give them “the look”, they immediately ceased annoying me. Also, there were like a few 30-year olds at the front who laughed at almost EVERY joke. That didn’t annoy me, I just thought it was amusing. But none of these things really bugged me that much, I’ve just never seen so much life in a a cinema. it wasn’t like an intimate experience at all. Now, if that wasn’t the second time I went to watch it, or if it was during a QT flick or something, nobody would have left that room alive, or the one’s that did live, they’d have to leave the limbs they’d lost as they belong to me now.

[quote=“Crazy_Hattori”]
During KB Volume 1 there was an asshole behind me who actually went “Ha-ha!” went the Bride found out she lost her baby and cried about it.
[/quote]

What a heartless bastard. I hate those wankers that are there solely to spoil your experience. They laugh at ridiculous times, make retarded comments, talk loud or throw food around.

[quote=“Bleach”]
Okay, didn’t happen to me but some guys I told to use the chance and go watch Psycho on the big screen, there was this film fest. They didn’t know it, first time and all, actually quite a thing to get to watch it in a theatre for the first time, isn’t it? So yeah, after the movie I ask them how was it and they told me something so stupid I couldn’t believe it. The film projector was either an idiot or just had decided to quit his job in style, as he shamelessly put the last reel on in the very beginning, right before Vera Miles goes down in the basement. Guys said they didn’t understand what the hell was going on, but thought it’s some suspense-like intro, until they got to see “THE END” and only THEN the whole movie from the beginning. I can’t believe nobody in the audience said anything too, was it the first time for the whole goddamn lot? Pretty ironic
[/quote]

Oh man, that must have sucked BIG TIME. For the actual cinema employees to fuck the experience up is unforgiveable. Over here, they give you free tickets to another showing or something to make up for it.

[quote=“Hung Fist”]
In Blood and Bones some of the audince felt the necessity to laugh every time Kitano rapes or beats someone
[/quote]

Some people’s humour is just too warped for normal functioning. I had a similar experience watching Sin City.


#11

For the most part I’ve had relatively little, or no out-rite terrible experiences at the theatre. Just minor annoyances.

However there were three cases this year that were pretty fuckin’ weak.

The first was Hot Fuzz, during which the projectionist must have fallen asleep, or some shit ‘cause the first reel just flickered, and faded out. This was during the scene where Simon Pegg is jogging down the street, The Kinks’ tune Village Green Preservation Society is playing, and we’re first introduced to Timothy Dalton’s character. As you can imagine I was pretty pissed. I then proceeded to bitch out manager demanding that he either pimp-slap the projectionist, and straighten his dumb ass out, or give me back my money. So finally, fifteen minutes later, the film begins again, and I’m able to enjoy it in it’s entirety.

The second was during The Bourne Ultimatum, which was just 9 days ago, during which half-way into the movie the picture drops out, and myself, and the rest of the audience are sitting in the dark listening to David Straitharn, and Joan Allen arguing. However, we are unable to actually see them arguing, just can’t see a fuckin’ thing. After three or four minutes of dialogue, score, and sound effects without picture the house lights come up, two ushers enter the cinema ,and inform us that there’s been some sort of power surge, and say it should be fixed in short order. So we wait, and wait, and wait, at which point nearly 30 minutes has passed, and we’re starting to become agitated. Finally, after much agrivaiton, not to mention misspent time, the two ushers reappear, and inform us that they’ll be giving us free passes good for any movie, any showtime, and most importantly at any Regal theatre which in my particular case the to-remain-nameless-theatre is the only one of said theatres within a reasonable driving distance from my apartment. In conclusion, though, I did finally see the whole film in both cases, however, they both lost alot of their momentum, and power, due to the fact that I had to restart the fukcers in the cinema, and therefore already knew what was going to transpire during the setup for both films.


#12

[quote=“Spiros”]
For the most part I’ve had relatively little, or no out-rite terrible experiences at the theatre. Just minor annoyances.
[/quote]

lol, was that a joke? Those experiences both sound horrible.


#13

for one reason or another it seems almost impossible for me to go to the movies without having someone behind me kicking in my seat every 5 seconds. i usually say nothing but once in a while i lose it and go berserk…


#14

I hate parents who let their kids walk all around the theatre during the film. It’s annoying. To me, the cinema is like a shrine or a church. It’s a sacred place. You got to respect the cinema. People kicking seats talking through the film pisses me off.



I will say though. One time, and I haven’t done it since, I put my feet up in between the cracks of the seats on the armrests of the seats in front to stretch my legs. When the film finished, I took my feet down and these two black guys got up. I had no idea there was anyone there, I never saw anyone come in. I felt so bad. That guy had to sit there with my feet either side of him the whole film. That was something I regret to this day. (It’s in my nature to regret such insignificant things until the day I die). I don’t usually have people sit in front of me because I sit in the third row or closer.


#15

ahahahah



your avatar reminds me that when i saw old boy, a tv crew entered the theater at the end of the film to ask audience what they thought of the film. i was amazed: the credits hadn’t even start that those fuckers were entering the theater with cameras and lighting (they lit the screen so a third of the picture was fully lit/unwatchable) and one of the guy was here giving orders to the camera guy for the set-up. it was amazing. now THAT is a bad experience…


#16

The most annoying though is getting phone calls when you are watching a video… People call me on the phone all the fuckin time. I can’t rent a fuckin tape without six phone calls interrupting me. Motherfuckers… I’m tryin to watch The lost boys! 8)


#17

How charming,Angel!Probably they had no problem with feet.

My worst experience was Star Wars - Episode II.First time I watched it a TV team came right in the beginning/ opening credits (it always makes my skin crawl) with lights and so - I was pissed. Second time I wanted to watch it we took the wrong movie (something with Julia Roberts).I´ve been suspicious before because only couples were sitting there.So I missed the beginning two times.


#18

[quote=“Angel”]
lol, was that a joke? Those experiences both sound horrible.
[/quote]
Yes my half-assed attempt at sarcasm. Oh I forgot the third experience, this was during a late-night screening of Ratatouille. It was a 10 o’clock showing, and there were only eight, or nine other patrons in the theatre besides my friend and myself. All through the previews, and through the animated short preceeding the film, everything went smoothly. However, about twelve minutes in, when Remy starts to discuss how to prepare, and accent certain foods w/ his brother Amile. I start to hear this low chatter coming from about four seats down in the row directly behind me, and zero-in on the this talkative fuck. Now initally I just figured he was asking his friend a simple question, but then I realised that he was critiquing the rat’s method for livening-up the different dishes in the movie. This asshole can’t suspend his high-horsed opinion of how strictly precise he thinks that these meals are supposed to be prepared long enough to realize that it’s a fictional cartoon cinema experience, about a god-damned cooking rat.

JESUS HAROLD CHRIST ON RUBBER CRUTCHES!

But I digress.


#19

Man this whole week a whole bunch lousy movies have been playing in theatres, and not to mention all those upcoming oscar movies, nothing but fags crying about some dumb shit. Where are all the good movies, damnit!


#20

I hardly ever go to the theatre but there was one time when I was younger I went with my aunt to see Good Burger anyway some kid in the back got his head or hand stuck in the chair and all I could hear was the mother yelling at him.