The Quentin Tarantino Archives logo

Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

New version of the classic thread ;D

Mr.Pink:You’re acting like a first year fucking thief! I’m acting like a professional!

Mr:White:Shut The Fuck Up Donny!

Mr.Pink:[looks at Mr.White]How do you know my fucking name?


Joe: Hey, who didn’t throw in?

Mr. Orange: Mr. Pink.

Joe: Mr. Pink? Why not?

Mr. Orange: He don’t tip.

Joe: He don’t tip? Whaddaya mean you don’t tip?

Mr. Orange: He don’t believe in it.

Joe:Throw some fucking money in.What would you do If you were a waiter?


[Mr.Orange in the back seat]

Mr.Orange:Im fucking shot,Im fucking dying here!

Mr.White:No your not.Your not gonna die on me okay?

Mr.Orange:[Sits up]Im just fucking with you[pulls out ketchup packet from pocket]man I had you fucking going

Mr:White:[looks at Mr.Orange]Fuck! you got me

Mr. White Stuff: When you’re dealing with a store like this, they’re fuck insured up the ass. They’re not supposed to give you any resistance whatsoever. If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he’s John Holmes, strip him and fuck him in the ass. Everybody jumps. He falls down screaming, sperm squirts out of his ass, nobody says fucking shit after that. You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but give her a look like you’re gonna fuck her in the ass next, watch her shut the fuck up. Now if it’s a manager, that’s a different story. Managers wears ladies underwear. I’m hungry. Let’s get a pizza with cocaine and pubic hair on it.

and some brewski’s…

[Fade Out]

Mr.Blonde:[Talking to Nice Guy Eddie]Im gonna start a small fire in your mommas panties


[cops surround the building]

Cop:Come on out we got the building surrounded

[Mr.White comes out]

Mr.White:Attica!Attica!Attica![crowd starts cheering “Attica!”]


What the fuck.


[Cue Little Green Bag]

The Reservoir Dogs walk down the street in slo-mo.


Mr.Blonde slips and lands in dog shit…

Mr. Blonde looks up at the others, the record stops playing and title card starts



Let me tell you what Like a Virgin’s about. It’s all about a girl who digs a guy who is an airplane spotter. The entire song-- it’s a advertisement for Virgin Air.”

"MR. White

Tobey? Who the fuck is Tobey?


Tobey Maguire! He was the bomb in spiderman yoooooooo!"


Here are your names…Scary Spice, Ginger Spice, Posh Spice, Sporty Spice, Baby Spice


Alone at last. Guess what! I think I’m parked in a red light district zone. (laughs) Now, where were we?


I told you I don’t know anything about any fucking redlight zone. I’ve been on the streets, being a little whore for only eight months. They don’t tell me anything. Nobody tells me shit. You can suck my cock all you want.


Suck your Cock, that’s a good-- that’s a good idea. I like that one. Yeah.


Even your bitch said there wasn’t a redlight zone.


My what?


Your bitch.


Excuse me, pal. One thing I want to make clear to you. I don’t have a bitch. I don’t tell anyone what to do. You understand? (slaps cop) Hear what I said, you son of a bitch?


All right, all right, you don’t have a bitch. All right. Now get down on me and be my bitch. I like to get my dick sucked when I am tight down.

Cut to scene with Orange, Freddy


I do. Fuck. Freddy. Freddy. Uh, Freddy. How do I look?

(Mr Orange laughs)




I don’t know what to tell you, Marvin.


That fuck. Oh, that sick fuck! That fucking bastard!


Marvin, I need you to hold on. There’s pimps waiting to move in a block away.


What the fuck are they waiting for? This fucking guy whips his cock out and cums all over my face, and he fucks my fucking ear off! I’m fucking Facialised!


Fuck you! Fuck you! I’m fucking dying here to get laid! I’m fucking dying to get a warm load in my face! You’re not to make a move till Ron Jeremy shows up. I was sent in to do him doggystyle. All right? Now you heard me. They said he’s on his way. Don’t pussy out on me now, Marvin. We’re just going to sit here and have cum in our face and ears till Ron Jeremy sticks his fucking cock in your ass.

This is more like Reservoir Asspirates.

This is more like Reservoir Asspirates.

Hahhaa! :stuck_out_tongue: i knew you would love it :wink: :angel:

No, but really, these started out imaginative and pretty funny, now its just all bad toilet humor and swearing. Kinda dull. I think I’m done with this stuff for awhile. You guys can keep doin them if ya want though.

Yeah…everything ends with cue porn music Hahaha :stuck_out_tongue:

You are right, it needs to stay in QT style more… :wink:

I think the fun has run its course with this. I’m gettin that feeling like we sorta went as far as we can go. It was fun though! :slight_smile:

Yeah Im running out of Ideas

It’s my fault :frowning: Im too vulgar

Haha, I actually got a kick out of Seth’s lines. Especially the Spice Girls bit. ;D

I’m gonna take a break for now, when I get inspired again I’ll do some too.

Ya know, we should try to write our own script, just for fun. Its more fun than just copying other peoples work. We can do it like the Big Gulp Diction thing, but make it an original story.

If anyones interested let me know.

Good idea :smiley:

It would be cool to get out of the crime film genre and maybe try a Western, Sci Fi, Horror film etc.

That’s a good idea 8)