Mr.Blonde:You know I hate fucking cops[looks at LAPD Officer Marvin Nash]
Marvin Nash:I have kids at home please dont
Mr.Blonde:no no no no did I say you could talk?
Marvin Nash:I have money do you want money?
Mr. Blonde:[Mr.Blonde starts laughing] all the money in the world wouldnt be enough for what im about to do to you
Marvin Nash:Please I have a wife!
[Mr.Blonde turns on radio]
Marvin Nash:Oh my god its Country music!
[Joe walks in]
Joe:Jesus what are you doing to him?
[Marvin starts crying]
Mr.Blonde:What? Just having a little fun
Joe:Thats not fun thats sadistic!
Mr:Blonde:You making fun of the music I listen?
Joe:You call that shit music?
Mr.Blonde:Why you little pissant, im gonna kick you so hard your dogs gonna bleed
Joe:Big talk from a country fan. Hey why dont you come over my house and fuck my sister?[Mr.Blonde pulls his gun out]
Mr.Blonde:Thats it oldman[cocks gun]Im gonna paint the wall
[Mr.White and Mr.Pink walk in]
Mr.White:What the fuck is going on here?
Mr.Blonde:[Starts crying] he made fun of my music and I really love the sound of it[starts mumbling]
Mr.Pink:What the…[Pulls out gun and kills Mr.Blonde]Im a fucking professional!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
[quote=“Seth_Gecko”]
“MR. BROWN
Let me tell you what Like a Virgin’s about. It’s all about a girl who digs a guy who is an airplane spotter. The entire song-- it’s a advertisement for Virgin Air.”
"MR. White
Tobey? Who the fuck is Tobey?
Joe
Tobey Maguire! He was the bomb in spiderman yoooooooo!"
JOE
Here are your names…Scary Spice, Ginger Spice, Posh Spice, Sporty Spice, Baby Spice
MR. BLONDE
Alone at last. Guess what! I think I’m parked in a red light district zone. (laughs) Now, where were we?
COP
I told you I don’t know anything about any fucking redlight zone. I’ve been on the streets, being a little whore for only eight months. They don’t tell me anything. Nobody tells me shit. You can suck my cock all you want.
MR. BLONDE
Suck your Cock, that’s a good-- that’s a good idea. I like that one. Yeah.
COP
Even your bitch said there wasn’t a redlight zone.
MR. BLONDE
My what?
COP
Your bitch.
MR. WHITE
Excuse me, pal. One thing I want to make clear to you. I don’t have a bitch. I don’t tell anyone what to do. You understand? (slaps cop) Hear what I said, you son of a bitch?
COP
All right, all right, you don’t have a bitch. All right. Now get down on me and be my bitch. I like to get my dick sucked when I am tight down.
Cut to scene with Orange, Freddy
COP
I do. Fuck. Freddy. Freddy. Uh, Freddy. How do I look?
(Mr Orange laughs)
COP
What?
MR. ORANGE
I don’t know what to tell you, Marvin.
COP
That fuck. Oh, that sick fuck! That fucking bastard!
MR. ORAMGE
Marvin, I need you to hold on. There’s pimps waiting to move in a block away.
COP
What the fuck are they waiting for? This fucking guy whips his cock out and cums all over my face, and he fucks my fucking ear off! I’m fucking Facialised!
MR. ORANGE
Fuck you! Fuck you! I’m fucking dying here to get laid! I’m fucking dying to get a warm load in my face! You’re not to make a move till Ron Jeremy shows up. I was sent in to do him doggystyle. All right? Now you heard me. They said he’s on his way. Don’t pussy out on me now, Marvin. We’re just going to sit here and have cum in our face and ears till Ron Jeremy sticks his fucking cock in your ass.
[/quote]
damn!!! that’s gotta be one of the fucking best I’ve ever read! LMFAO!!!
me, your country music bit is pretty cool too!
Im running out of ideas…im starting to come up with goofy ones :-</E>
Mr. Orange: I’m dying here.
Mr. White: no, you’re not gonna die.
Mr. Orange: yes, I’m gonna die, I’ve read the fucking script.
Mr. White: oh… too bad.
Mr. White: no, he’s not the rat.
Joe: yes he is.
Mr. White: how do you know that?
Joe: I’ve read the script
Mr. White: damnit this is getting out of hand.
Okey, same joke twice, gonna stop now.
[quote=“me”]
Mr.Blonde:You know I hate fucking cops[looks at LAPD Officer Marvin Nash]
Marvin Nash:I have kids at home please dont
Mr.Blonde:no no no no did I say you could talk?
Marvin Nash:I have money do you want money?
Mr. Blonde:[Mr.Blonde starts laughing] all the money in the world wouldnt be enough for what im about to do to you
Marvin Nash:Please I have a wife!
[Mr.Blonde turns on radio]
Marvin Nash:Oh my god its Country music!
[Joe walks in]
Joe:Jesus what are you doing to him?
[Marvin starts crying]
Mr.Blonde:What? Just having a little fun
Joe:Thats not fun thats sadistic!
Mr:Blonde:You making fun of the music I listen?
Joe:You call that shit music?
Mr.Blonde:Why you little pissant, im gonna kick you so hard your dogs gonna bleed
Joe:Big talk from a country fan. Hey why dont you come over my house and fuck my sister?[Mr.Blonde pulls his gun out]
Mr.Blonde:Thats it oldman[cocks gun]Im gonna paint the wall
[Mr.White and Mr.Pink walk in]
Mr.White:What the fuck is going on here?
Mr.Blonde:[Starts crying] he made fun of my music and I really love the sound of it[starts mumbling]
Mr.Pink:What the…[Pulls out gun and kills Mr.Blonde]Im a fucking professional!
[/quote]
Lol, great stuff.
[quote=“Bad Max”]
Mr. White Stuff: When you’re dealing with a store like this, they’re fuck insured up the ass. They’re not supposed to give you any resistance whatsoever. If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he’s John Holmes, strip him and fuck him in the ass. Everybody jumps. He falls down screaming, sperm squirts out of his ass, nobody says fucking shit after that. You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but give her a look like you’re gonna fuck her in the ass next, watch her shut the fuck up. Now if it’s a manager, that’s a different story. Managers wears ladies underwear. I’m hungry. Let’s get a pizza with cocaine and pubic hair on it.
and some brewski’s…
[Fade Out]
[/quote]
daaaaaaaaamn funny!
I just love the John Holmes bit!
Thank ya!
I just don’t really get the pizza bit. I’d have said :
-I’m bored. Let’s rape a gimp.
Mr Pink: You know, it’s proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-… uh, you know, cancer related.
[quote]
[/quote]
I hope you enjoy this. I use to love making these sorta things for web sites. Its been awhile, maybe I havent lost my funny bone yet.
EDIT: Had to quote myself because it went to page 2, sorry
Laughed My Damn Fuckin Ass OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOff…
do more please!
[quote=“Tristan”]
Laughed My Damn Fuckin Ass OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOff…
do more please!
[/quote]
Thanks for the love. Its hard to get any around these parts! I may do some more when I get the time.
hey guess what-the idea is so flippin cool-I think I’ll do some myself.
Could you post that Steve buscemi pic without the thought bubble… I have never seen that pic before
Here ya go! You can use VLC player to make some quick snapshots of any movie. I got that one using google though.
[quote]hey guess what-the idea is so flippin cool-I think I’ll do some myself.[/quote]
Cool. Its fun. I use to do them all the time, It can get addictive.
LMAO!! Funny stuff KK! 
[quote=“PutneySwope”]
LMAO!! Funny stuff KK!
[/quote]
Thank ya dood! I was trying to think of a good one with the old “knock knock” joke about orange but the one I came up with was too silly so I dumped it and put in the Kotex line.
I like the “I think I started” part. It makes it even funnier.