Hahaahaha! ;D
Jules: Hmmmm, that IS a tasty burger!
Brett: I’m not a cobb or corn, so you can
stop butterin’ me up. I don’t need
you to tell me how good my burger
is. I’m the one who bought it, I
know how fuckin’ good it is. When
flock of seaguls over there buys burgers he buys
shit. I buy the Big Cahuna expensive
burgers 'cause when I eat them, I
wanna taste them. But what’s on my
mind at this moment isn’t the
burgers from Big Cahuna, it’s the little bitch
thats in my face right now, bitching about burgers.
[quote=“Seth_Gecko”]
Hahaahaha! ;D
Jules: Hmmmm, that IS a tasty burger!
Brett: I’m not a cobb or corn, so you can
stop butterin’ me up. I don’t need
you to tell me how good my burger
is. I’m the one who bought it, I
know how fuckin’ good it is. When
flock of seaguls over there buys burgers he buys
shit. I buy the Big Cahuna expensive
burgers 'cause when I eat them, I
wanna taste them. But what’s on my
mind at this moment isn’t the
coffee in my kitchen, it’s the little bitch
thats in my face right now, bitching about burgers.
[/quote]
Hahahaha, that was good.
HAHAHA, that was awesome!
Mia: I’m going to go powder my nose. You think of something interesting to say.
(Vincent shrugs)
Mia slowly saunters towards bathroom. She walks in the door, then we cut to inside the bathroom. Mia runs as fast as hell towards the stall.
CUT TO: Mia inside the stall pulling her pants down and sitting down fast on the shitter.
CUT TO: Vincent smoking his cigarette staring lewdly at Marilyn Monroe as she bends over to pick up a check she dropped.
CUT TO: Shot of stall door. We hear loud sounds of diarrea, Wet gas, etc.
CUT TO: Vincent slurping Mia’s five dollar shake getting it all over his face. Wiping it with his sleeve.
CUT TO: Gods Eye POV shot over Mia as she lets out a tiny fart one last time.
CUT TO: Mia’s face, relieved.
SHOCK CUT: Mia’s eyes open largely.
CUT TO: Vincent watching Buddy Holly pouring a Amos n Andy shake into a container for his customer a fewbooths down. CU on sloppy Chocolate Thick Shake pouring into glass. Some of the Shake gets on table.
[quote=“WinslowLeach”]
Mia: I’m going to go powder my nose. You think of something interesting to say.
(Vincent shrugs)
Mia slowly saunters towards bathroom. She walks in the door, then we cut to inside the bathroom. Mia runs as fast as hell towards the stall.
CUT TO: Mia inside the stall pulling her pants down and sitting down fast on the shitter.
CUT TO: Vincent smoking his cigarette staring lewdly at Marilyn Monroe as she bends over to pick up a check she dropped.
CUT TO: Shot of stall door. We hear loud sounds of diarrea, Wet gas, etc.
CUT TO: Vincent slurping Mia’s five dollar shake getting it all over his face. Wiping it with his sleeve.
CUT TO: Gods Eye POV shot over Mia as she lets out a tiny fart one last time.
CUT TO: Mia’s face, relieved.
SHOCK CUT: Mia’s eyes open largely.
CUT TO: Vincent watching Buddy Holly pouring a Amos n Andy shake into a container for his customer a fewbooths down. CU on sloppy Chocolate Thick Shake pouring into glass. Some of the Shake gets on table.
[/quote]
Wow…
I did not see that one coming…
I was laughing my ass off as I was writing that one. Immature of me I know. 
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: Don’t be tellin’ me about foot massages. I’m the foot fuckin’ master!
Vincent: Given a lot of ‘em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don’t be ticklin’ or nothin’.
Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?
Jules: …Take off those shoes Mr. Vega, I’m going to give you a life experience.
porn music starts playing
…
(cue Marvin Gaye’s “Lets Get It On”)
70’s style LOVE MONTAGE between Vince and Jules. They run on the beach (still in their suits), play miniature golf, dance at a club. We see them walking out of a movie. As they walk past the camera pans up and the marquee reads TRUE ROMANCE.
CUT TO:
Fireplace in CU. In silouette Vince and Jules begin to kiss (we dont see them make lip contact, WHEW!).
We DISSOLVE TO:
Vince and Jules falling back in SLOW MOTION onto the bed. They are spent.
SHOCK CUT:
Jules: Vincent!
Vincent (still in daydream land) Yes, Jules my sweet?
Jules: JULES MY SWEET?! WHAT YOU TALKIN BOUT MOTHERFUCKA?!!
(Vincent snaps out of it)
(Vincent clears throat)
Vincent (In goofy Barbarino voice): What?
Jules: Whats this MY SWEET SHIT?
Vincent (Barbarino voice): Where?
Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this?
Butch: It’s a chopper, baby.
Fabienne: Whose chopper is this?
Butch: It’s Zed’s.
Fabienne: Who’s Zed?
Butch: Would you drop the fake accent and finally shut the fuck up and get on the god damn bike. And you better not have forgotten my watch BITCH!
Vince:Does my ass look fat?
Jules:What mother fucker?
Vince:Tell me the truth?
Jules:(Looks at Jules)I dont even have an opinion on the matter
Vince:(sobbing)its fat isnt it?(Vince than cries)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lance:This is some good shit.
Vince:Yeah,looks good.Okay I’ll take—(door slams open)what the—Pat O’brien?
Pat:(scratching his nose)Give me all you got on the bed(starts laughing harder and harder)Everything!(laughs even harder)Your so fucking hot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Jules and Vince riding in the car,Phone rings,Vince answers it)
Vince:(Yells)Whats Up!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
Vincent: (starts singing)I feel pretty!
Jules:(sings with Vincent)Oh so pretty!
(both start to sing)I feel pretty and witty and gay
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Opens Briefcase)
Jules:Are we happy?
Vincent:Yeah we’re happy.(takes out PDA from briefcase)without this I would be lost.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[quote=“Deadly Viper”]
Marsellus: In the fifth, your ass goes down. Say it.
Butch: It.
Vincent: And you know what they call a… a… a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
Jules: Yes. I’ve read the script.
…[/quote]
… Some more to add to my previous ones:
Jules: Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I’m in a transitional period so I don’t wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I can’t give you this case, it don’t belong to me. Besides, I’ve already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass.
Pumpkin: My ass may be dumb, but I ain’t no dumbass.
[Jules makes mental note of that line to use in one of his future films]
Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster’s Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?
Jimmie: Chocolate, just like your face, aaaaaahhhhh. * runs away *
Jules: Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.
Vincent: God better be careful, because should he be encountered by bleep on her journey, he will get cut.
Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa… stop right there. Eatin’ a bitch out, and givin’ a bitch a foot massage ain’t even the same fuckin’ thing.
Vincent: It’s not. It’s the same ballpark.
Jules: Ain’t no fuckin’ ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin’ his wife’s feet, and stickin’ your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain’t the same fuckin’ ballpark, it ain’t the same league, it ain’t even the same fuckin’ sport. Look, foot massages don’t mean shit.
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
[Jules closes his eyes, and reminisces when Marsellus was dressed as a bunny whilst Jules massaged his feet]
Jimmie: I’m gonna get fuckin’ divorced. No marriage counselling, no trial separation, I’m gonna get fuckin’ divorced.
Jules: Dude, seriously… shut the fuck up and make Inglorious Bastards, already!!
Honey Bunny: [about to rob a diner] I love you, Pumpkin.
Pumpkin: You do? Jesus Christ, you are one ugly, nasty bitch, do you know that? This bet has gone too far.
[rings Marvin Nash]
Pumpkin: Yo, one ear?
Marvin: Yeah?
Pumpkin: I give up, I can’t take this shit anymore. You’ve won the bet.
Marvin: Yesss!!
[Marvin hangs up. His smile slowly drops as he stares into the mirror, caressing where his right ear would have been. Tear runs down face]
Jules: Well, the way they make shows is, they make one show. That show’s called a pilot. Then they show that show to the people who make shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if they’re going to make more shows. Some pilots get picked and become television programs. Some don’t, become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing.
Vincent: Oh no, actually, He tweaked it a bit, and used it as his 4th and or 5th film.
Jules: Oh yeah. And what the fuck is up with that shit anyway? Was it 1 film, was it 2 films? Either way, I’m pissed, I payed the price of two admissions for it.
Vincent: Haha. And what the fuck was up with that organ player? What a waste of talent.
Marsellus: You see, this profession is filled to the brim with unrealistic motherfuckers. Motherfuckers who thought their ass would age like wine. If you mean it turns to vinegar, it does. If you mean it gets better with age, it don’t.
Butch: Are You asking me out on a date?
Maynard: Nobody kills anyone in my store except me and Zed.
[doorbell rings]
[Maynard goes to answer, opens the door]
- “Ironside” plays *
[Mia punches Maynard on his head]
The Wolf: You’re… Jimmie, right? This is your house?
Jimmie: Sure is.
The Wolf: I’m Winston Wolfe. I solve problems.
Jimmie: Good, we got one.
The Wolf: So I heard. May I come in?
Jimmie: What’s the password?
The Wolf: Oh I know this… ermmm… Oliver Stone sucks cock?
Jimmie: Haha, alright, my maaan. Come on in.
[The Wolf mutters “I quite liked Natural Born Killers” under his breath, on his way inside the house]
[Jimmie over-hears and shoots The Wolf dead]
Paul: So, I hear you’re taking Mia out.
Vincent: At Marsellus’s request.
Paul: You met Mia yet?
Vincent: Yeah, of course, we’ve filmed a lot of the later scenes already.
Butch: You feel that sting, big boy, huh? That’s pride FUCKIN’ with you! You gotta fight through that shit!
Marsellus: Harder… harder, give it to me.
Butch: yeee haaa
Jules: We should have shotguns for this kind of deal.
Vincent: How many up there?
Jules: Three or four.
Vincent: That’s countin’ our guy?
Jules: Not sure.
Vincent: Holy shit, I just realised…
Jules: What?
Vincent: …Where being part of one of His world-famous trunk shots!!
Jules: Holy Christ, you’re right. Be cool, and don’t look at the camera
[Jules and Vincent pull their “cool” faces]
Pumpkin: Garçon! Coffee!
[the waitress approaches the table and refills Pumpkin’s cup]
Waitress: Garçon means boy.
Pumpkin: Hey, don’t look at me, I didn’t write the script.
[To crazy bitch Yolanda]
Jules: Bitch, be cool!
Vincent: Be Cool? That’s a damn good title for a film.
Mia: Damn right.
Marcellus Wallace: hey Zed, you have opened my eyes to the wonderful world of anal sex. Please, pass the KY.
Mia: I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna suck your dick, I wanna suck hard. I want that sperm, so be sucked good.
_______
That’s thirty minutes away. I’ll be there in forty-five.
_______
Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: [pause] Yeah.
Jimmie: Huh?
Jules: Yeah.
Jimmie: Then I’ll better take it down ‘cause storing dead niggers ain’t my fucking business!
___________________
Vincent: Look, I’m not stupid. It’s the Big Man’s wife. I’m gonna sit across from her, chew my food with my mouth closed, fuck her and that’s it.
____________________
You feel that sting, big boy, huh? That’s my cock FUCKIN’ with you! I gotta fight through that shit!
_____________
Jules: I gotta go home and stick my dick in a five dollar milkshake.
[quote=“Bad Max”]
Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: [pause] Yeah.
Jimmie: Huh?
Jules: Yeah.
Jimmie: Then I’ll better take it down 'cause storing dead niggers ain’t my fucking business!
[/quote]
Brilliant. ;D
Spankya, Spankyaverymuch.
-----
CUT TO: Butch throws his bag into the trash then jumps into trash bin.
CUT TO: Butch inside bin trying to get out. We pan over and see the dirtiest bum in cinema history eating sardines and sipping Night Train.
The Bum: What the fuck YOU think YOU doin?! I’m sittin here enjoying my dinner and Palooka Joe jumps into my house. How’d you like it if you were eating your strained peas and I just barged in YOUR fuckin house?!
Butch punches the bum in the face point blank.
CUT TO Butch inside cab.
Cab Driver: Meester, Meester…Hey, Meester.
Butch (agitiated) WHAAAAT?!!
Cab Driver: Where we go? I need directions.
Butch: Just drive that way… (points straight) Butch looks at cab license and sees man’s name and reads it: Borat.
Borat: Whats YOUR name?
Butch: Palook- I mean Butch.
Borat: Bootch. Booootch. Booch.
Butch: Its just Butch. Not Booootch. (mumbles) Fuckin wetbacks.
Borat: What does Boootch mean?
Butch: I’m American, our names don’t mean shit.
Borat: Inna my country Booch does mean shit…You won that fight?
Butch: Yeah. I won it.
Borat: The other chocolate covered man, he die. I hear on radio.
Butch: Floyd’s dead?.. Shit, sorry about that Floyd.
Borat: You kill chocolate man, you big hero now eh?
Butch: Yeah…NO!! What the fuck are you talking about?!!
Borat: Hey look, theres a hot potato.
Butch looks out window and sees a huge fat lady.
Butch (sarcastic): Yeah, she’s real hot.
Borat: Inna my country, we love da pussies that droop like dog lips. You lika eat da pussy Bootch?
Butch: I gotta call my friend. You stop at phone booth ok?
Borat: First you answer question.
Butch: What question?
Borat: You lika to eat da pussy?
Butch: Yes, now stop please.
Borat stops at phone booth and Butch gets out and calls Scotty in Knoxville.
Jules: Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.
Vincent: [Pause]… That’s the gayest shit i’ve ever heard! What do you eat for breakfast? Cocksandwich?
_____________________
Honey Bunny: Any of you fucking pricks move, and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!
Man: Fuck, I dropped my fork. Can you make an exception?
_____________
The Wolf: You’re… Jimmie, right? This is your house?
Jimmie: Sure is.
The Wolf: I’m Winston Wolfe. I suck dick.
Jimmie: Good, I got one.
The Wolf: So I heard. May i suck it?
Jimmie: Uh, yeah, please do.
___________________________
Zed: Bring out the Gimp.
Maynard: We don’t have any gimp.
Zed: Well, I guess you’re gonna have to go buy one, now won’t you?
________________________
Jules: Oh, I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?
Brett: Nope, I take Ritalin.
[quote=“Bad Max”]
________________________
Jules: Oh, I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?
Brett: Nope, I take Ritalin.
[/quote]
hahahahahaah legend!
That was a good one. 
"Jules: Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.
Vincent: [Pause]… That’s the gayest shit i’ve ever heard! "
That is also funny.
Borat: Hey look, theres a hot potato.
Butch looks out window and sees a huge fat lady.
Butch (sarcastic): Yeah, she’s real hot.
Borat: Inna my country, we love da pussies that droop like dog lips. You lika eat da pussy Bootch?
Nice!