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Lines you aint gonna hear in IB


#1

Ok nazi-killers, let’s kill some fucking nazis!



I am mayby a basterd, but i am not fucking basterd.



Hey mom, you will never guess what just happend.



My name is Shoshanna Dreyfus. You killed my father. Prepare to die.


#2

Aldo: My name IS Lt Aldo Raine…and Im gonna show all yall how to squaredance!!



Hans Landa (pointing gun at Aldo): What was it you said to me last time? Ah yes: Yipee Ki-ay-maddafacka

Aldo (Brad Pitt forced annoying laugh): HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(everyone laughs)



Donnie: You got any matza ball soup in these parts?



Hitler: Two jews walk into a bar…



Landa: What happens when a Frenchmen comes into your yard?

Shosanna: I dont know, what?

Landa: You’re trashcans are emptied and your dog ends up pregnant.



Hugo: Hey guys!! Lets party!!



Donnie to Omar Ulmer: I wanna get that Von Hammersmark bitch drunk so I can fuck her.



Ed Fenech (starts singing in Cockney British accent): Thank ya very much! Thank ya very much! Thats the nicest things anyones ever done fo’ me!..



(the whole cast joins in and start singing and dancing in a Basterds musical sequence)



Cut to: Aldo making goofy face doing a Deliverance style hillbilly dance on the street corner.


#3

[quote=“VikingWithNoName”]
Ok nazi-killers, let’s kill some fucking nazis!



I am mayby a basterd, but i am not fucking basterd.



Hey mom, you will never guess what just happend.



My name is Shoshanna Dreyfus. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[/quote]

I’m pretty sure some of those do appear in the movie…


#4

[quote=“VikingWithNoName”]
Ok nazi-killers, let’s kill some fucking nazis!



I am mayby a basterd, but i am not fucking basterd.



Hey mom, you will never guess what just happend.



My name is Shoshanna Dreyfus. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[/quote]

Why would you never hear them in IB? They’re QT written lines that have appeared in one or sometimes even a couple of his movies… although none are in the script, one could easily feature in the film or at least something similar to it. Isn’t the point that it would be something so out of place that you obviously wouldn’t hear? :laugh:


#5

[quote=“VikingWithNoName”]
My name is Shoshanna Dreyfus. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[/quote]

LOL, this one, definitely not. It reminds me the trailer for this new Terminator Salvation thing, cheesy lines delivered way too seriously by Bale that it becomes unintentionally funny, like he’s saying the best line in the history of cinema. the rest is acceptable, depends on how it is delivered.





What you wouldn’t hear in a QT movie, well I think it’s obvious, not any of those moral speeches that comes out of nowhere, just for the sake of teaching something to the audience or delivering a shitty message, in fact this very aspect I truly hate in Spielberg movies. He doesn’t let the situations speak for themselves, he is constantly explaining everything to the audience. Whenever Tom Hanks opens his mouth with the cheesy music kicking in, it’s so unbelievable I have to cover my ears. It can makes some cry, me, I just find it ridiculous.


#6

(The Basterds kill a bunch of Nazis and Hirschberg is killed by one in the crossfire)



Cut to: makeshift funeral service in woods…



Aldo takes off his cap and sobs and Utivich holds his hand.



Aldo: Goddang it…(he looks out into distance and music comes up on score)…that boy didnt do nothin to nobody…he was (snot bubbles out his nose)…my lil fray-un…(he mumbles on in hillbilly jibberish)



Utivich: I know Lt., he was…all of our friends.



Cut to: Hugo looks at Utivich making “WTF?” face while mouthing "all of our friends?"



Utivich looks at Hugo and shrugs



Cut Back to Aldo:



Aldo: I dont care who this dang Hitler is…I just want to get all yall home safe and sound…if that means killing tons o’ natzees, then thats what I’ll do!!..all yall wit me on this mishun we gotta preform?..we must all keep each other safe and sound and not get mad or angry at each other…agreed?!"



Basterds: Agreed.



Cut to: Donnie picking his nose while looking around, hes not paying attention.



Wicki nudges him.



Donnie: (ahem) Agreed.



(Aldo blows his nose loudly)


#7

A: did y’all hear bout dat holocaust shit whuts goin down?

B: yo dat is some serious motherfuckin shit right dere.

A: true dat. dat shit is off da fuckin hook!

B: fo sho

C: foooo show


#8

Lt.Aldo : Donnie, show me you’re a real man, kill this motherfucker.

Donnie : what?

Lt. Aldo : U understand english right? I said take this bat and kill him.

Donnie ( all shaking, but brave ) : I can’t do that sir, he is unarmed, this is so unethical.

Utivich ( pat him in the back ) : he’s right, I’m with him on that… If we do that, we’ll become like them, we’ll be nazis too.

Aldo ( thinking deeply ) : Guys… * sad score kicks in * I’m proud of you all. You just saved our souls. Today is a special day, all we’ll know the jews kept their humanity, even when facing the devil. We can’t let our hate taking over us.



The members of whole squad stand in all their dignity.



The end.


#9

Shot of woods…



We hear a tip-tap repeating on score. Its intense and foreboding. Suddenly we see The Basterds walk out from behind some trees.



Cut to: Opposite side. Nazis walks out from some trees.



The two groups both look at each other, close ups on tough looking faces. Nazis snarl.



Aldo spits on ground. Donny does his crazy look, and holds his bat menacingly.



The tip-tap on the score begins to build louder and louder until it hits a crescendo then turns into a jazzy dance beat.



Aldo yells: Basterds!



Donny: Taps his bat faster in his hand to the beat.



Nazi #1 screams: Nazis!



Aldo and The Basterds begin dancing around chanting Inglourious!..Basterds.



Donnie does some moves with the bat and screams: INGLOURIOUS!..(others) Basterds.



The Nazis begin dancing too. The main Nazi screams: Nazis!



This turns into an all out dance number, West Side Story style. Basterds doing jazzy dance moves. Nazis spinning around, Humping the air. Crazy shit.



Sudeenly, Aldo does a hillbilly dance. The Basterds clap and cheer.



A Nazi does a German beerhall jig: The Nazis cheer and clap.


#10

Hitler: Aldo, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strengh, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the world.



Aldo: I will never join you!



Hitler: If you only new the power of the SS. Churchill never told you what happened to your father…



Aldo: He told me enough…he told me you killed him…



Hitler: No. I am your father!



Aldo: No…thats not true.That is impossible!



Hitler: Search your feelings. You know it to be true!



Aldo: NOOOOOO!!!


#11

Inglourious Basterds: The Empire Strikes Back?


#12

- So, who ate my bagels this time? Aldo? You know, listen to me…Aldo made the bagels, maybe he ate them!


  • I dont buy it. Me and Aldo go back a long time. I can tell you definetely Aldo didnt know a fucking thing about this bullshit!


  • Hey look. I know Aldo since i was a kid, ok? And me saying he definetelly had nothing to do with it, is ridiculous. I can say i definetely didnt do it cause i know what i did or i didnt do. But i cannot say that definetely about anybody else, cause I dont definetely know. For all i know, you ate them.


  • For all i know, YOU ate them!


  • All right, now you are using your fucking head. Look, Im right…somebody ate my fucking bagels!



    (this one is actually an excerpt form the screenplay)

#13

It would kinda push the self reference homage thing a little too far, no? hihi.


#14

[quote=“Pete”]
Shot of woods…



We hear a tip-tap repeating on score. Its intense and foreboding. Suddenly we see The Basterds walk out from behind some trees.



Cut to: Opposite side. Nazis walks out from some trees.



The two groups both look at each other, close ups on tough looking faces. Nazis snarl.



Aldo spits on ground. Donny does his crazy look, and holds his bat menacingly.



The tip-tap on the score begins to build louder and louder until it hits a crescendo then turns into a jazzy dance beat.



Aldo yells: Basterds!



Donny: Taps his bat faster in his hand to the beat.



Nazi #1 screams: Nazis!



Aldo and The Basterds begin dancing around chanting Inglourious!..Basterds.



Donnie does some moves with the bat and screams: INGLOURIOUS!..(others) Basterds.



The Nazis begin dancing too. The main Nazi screams: Nazis!



This turns into an all out dance number, West Side Story style. Basterds doing jazzy dance moves. Nazis spinning around, Humping the air. Crazy shit.



Sudeenly, Aldo does a hillbilly dance. The Basterds clap and cheer.



A Nazi does a German beerhall jig: The Nazis cheer and clap.

[/quote]

Pete, I’d sort of like to say you should look into medication for your condition, but that’s just too fucked-up funny.


#15

It was my tribute to West Side Story. Its called…West Side Basterds…yeah! Thats the ticket!


#16

Haha, I like your stlye, Pete. I always said, so many cool movies should be turned into musicals.


#17

“Well, ain’t this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!”


#18

Mmm. This is a tasty burger!


#19

Hans Landa to Shoshanna: It has always been my secret but i just love jewish-french girls like you.


#20

M-Hm! This IS a tasty Schnitzel!