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Kill bill re-casted


#1

Okay, I figured since there have been so many boring-ass topics and one-shot retreads in this board we should have a fun one. If you had to recast Kill Bill, who would you choose?



Vernita Green-Pam Grier: She can fight, she’s sexy, she’s black, and she’s Pam.



Budd-Viggo Mortensen: He’s got that rough-and-tumble feel to him, and I think he could have pulled it off with a different but equally good quality.



Elle Driver-Winona Ryder: Don’t ask, but for some reason I think that would work really well.



O-Ren: I don’t know nearly enough Asian actresses to make a decision here.



Bill-Paul Newman: He has a certain kind of fuck-it-all air, albeit a different one than Dave Carradine, that carries the character of Bill well.



The Bride: There’s nobody else. Period.



Buck-Johnny Knoxville: Because I feel that he should play EVERY role available to him.



Pei Mei-Quentin Tarantino: I still think that would have been great.



Hattori Hanzo-Again, I know diddly about Asian cinema.



Esteban [Insert last name here], the mexican pimp-Antonio Banderas: You know, because he’s a REAL mexican.



Budd’s Boss-Paul Giamatti: Same reason as Knoxville.



The Reverend-Harvey Keitel: Part 1 of the Cameo Chapel [See Below.]



The Reverend’s Wife-Butch’s Mom: Part 2 of the Cameo Chapel



Tommy Plympton-Tim Roth: Part 3 of the Cameo Chapel.



Girlfriend 1-Rosanna Arquette: Part 4



Girlfriend 2-Maria DeMedieros: Part 5



Girlfriend 3-Laura Lovelace: Part 6



Rufus-Still my nigga Sammy J.



That’s all I got.


#2

Pam Grier, no. She’s way too fuckin old and her hips are too big to actually do any fighting.



Viggo Mortenson, no. Has a nice screen presence, but hasn’t shown the ability to do any real acting.



Winona Ryder, fuck no with a cherry on top. I could imagine her wearing an eye patch that she stole from Kmart, but I’d rather see just about anyone else play Elle than that tiny little whiny pale bitch.



Paul Newman, now that might work. Ol’ blue eyes would have to go against character and play a pretty mean bastard, but Paul is the man. And he makes good oreos too.  :smiley:



Johnny Knoxville, not really. He’s much more of a redneck than that blue-collar looking Michael Bowen, but his carefree attitude and constant dumb grin would automatically vote him off.



Pai Mei- MOTHERFUCKIN GORDON LIU. no dubbing, just the legend himself.



Antonio Banderas, suck a dick no. Enrique Iglesias would do a better job playing Esteban, and that’s not saying much (though I did enjoy him in Once upon a time in Mexico).



Paul Giamatti, hmmmm. I find him pretty irritating in just about anything he’s in, but he did give an Oscar-worthy performance in Splendor. Anyway, Giamatti is too young and too neurotic to play Budd’s boss.



Budd Svenson and what’s her name were fine as Tommy’s parents. Harvey Keitel is too hardcore and wouldn’t fit in that role.



Girlfriends- couldn’t act, weren’t supposed to do much, and any star power would have detracted from the rest of that scene/chapter.


#3

Wow, I just got solidly crushed. Well, who would you suggest?


#4

i suggest no changes.


#5

Yeh, I think every part was played out perfectly except fot those lame bitches in the Church (Bea’s friends) they couldnt act, the part where they’re saying where Beatrix is goin and why etc is so lame and nearly spoils the scene lucky for the next minutes which are like brilliant i love “Il Tramonto”


#6

IL_Buono, I don’t believe you have seen Viggo Mortenson in “Carlito’s Way”. He is a great actor. But I do agree that Michael Madsen is a better choice to play the role of Budd.


#7

The only change i wished there was is Steve Buscemi helping dig the grave of the bride. ‘Isnt she the dam prettiest blond you ever did see’ - bill ‘hmm, ive seen better’ - STEVE BUSCEMI SHOULD SAY THIS!!! instead of the other guy.


#8

[quote]The only change i wished there was is Steve Buscemi helping dig the grave of the bride. ‘Isnt she the dam prettiest blond you ever did see’ - bill ‘hmm, ive seen better’ - STEVE BUSCEMI SHOULD SAY THIS!!! instead of the other guy.[/quote]

yeah but the other dude was excellent, too. but you’re right


#9

[quote]The only change i wished there was is Steve Buscemi helping dig the grave of the bride. ‘Isnt she the dam prettiest blond you ever did see’ - bill ‘hmm, ive seen better’ - STEVE BUSCEMI SHOULD SAY THIS!!! instead of the other guy.[/quote]

Wasn’t it Budd? Also, it would be cool if Steve Buscemi had a part in the movie, but he doesn’t seem as strong as the guy they used to dig that grave and he is much taller so you might not be able to have the scene where Budd helps him out of the hole because he’s too short to climb out! (sorry if I’m talking shit but i think it makes sense)


#10

[quote]Esteban [Insert last name here], the mexican pimp-Antonio Banderas: You know, because he’s a REAL mexican.[/quote]

He’s a real… spanish.


#11

I couldn’t ever see Kill Bill re-casted. Maybe I would like to have seen O-Ren Ishii portrayed by a real Japanese actress (as QT had intended while writing the script) than Lucy Lui.



And for some odd reason, I always imagined Buck as being a black man…possibly Samuel L. Jackson in a cameo. I guess it was just the garish Pussy Wagon and the Big Pimpin’ wallet that was mentioned in the script but never brought into the movie.



Thats about it, though.


#12

I totally agree with the Johnny Knoxville thing…in fact he might even play a good Budd. But that’s just me.



And there’s no fucking way you can replace Gordon Liu with QT even though Pai Mei was originally played by QT. I say QT would be good as Budd’s boss. Same with the “dead nigger storage” thing, Qt would be hilarious if he said “youre about as useful as an asshole right here…” points to elbow


#13

[quote]i suggest no changes.[/quote]

This is a “if you had to” scenario. I agree that this movie was casted perfectly.



I almost thought Knoxville for Budd, DNS, but he’s a little too scrawny to imagine beating the shit out of the bride.


#14

I was thinking of that. I was gonna add the whole “maybe if he gained some weight” deal, but I thought it was implied.


#15

No way. The age gap between Johnny Knoxville and David Carradine is way too large for Knoxville to play Budd. Besides, he’s not good enough at acting to even think about just jumping in to a QT film.


#16

How bout mutha fuckin Charlie Bronson (in his heyday) as Budd? I could imagine my wetdream after seeing the “that girl deserves her revenge” shot with him in his lil’ cowboy hat. He would have to put on a couple of pounds and try to wipe that stoic expression off his face, but it could work.


#17

[quote]No way.  The age gap between Johnny Knoxville and David Carradine is way too large for Knoxville to play Budd.  Besides, he’s not good enough at acting to even think about just jumping in to a QT film.[/quote]

What the fuck does the age of David Carradine have to with Knoxville? He could be his younger brother for god’s sake


#18

Nigga, there is a FORTY YEAR age gap between David Carradine and Johnny Knoxville! It isn’t even fuckin possible for a woman (even in her teens) to squeeze out one baby and then have another FORTY YEARS LATER. It would have been stupid and would have recquired a massive bending of logic just to put a crappy actor into a good role.


#19

[quote]I could imagine my wetdream after seeing the “that girl deserves her revenge” shot with him in his lil’ cowboy [/quote]

You mean “That Woman deserves her revenge” ?


#20

God you’re dense.