I don't think you guys want to hear about my dreams. They're either seriously messed up, or really really dirty.
The last one I had that wasn't really dirty was a little while ago. I bet I can out-weird most peoples dreams. I might have mentioend it before, but not in exact detail.
In the beginning of the dream I was a garden gnome who lived in a swamp that was inside of a warehouse. I was trying to develop some sort of vehicle for some reason. It looked basically like a hand held blender. Anyway, I would ride around on my machine back and forth between different products on these metal shelves (I don't remember what) and all the while a serpent thing with only one eye would attack my blender and steal it from me. Another one would magically pop up though.
Then all of a sudden I was me (not a gnome) and I was walking through this pet shop. There were walls and walls of fish tanks and I went to look at all the fish. Some were labeled as being from different planets, and some swam through the glass from one tank to another. Most were crazy looking, but I can't really explain it. Anywho, so the owner comes running over to me saying that their is a sale on rat toys (I have pet rats in "real life") so I looked through the box which was full of bananas and stuff like that. (?) Anyways, I see a box of rats on the counter and go look at them. They're all just sitting around except for one brown rat with glowing stars and moons on his back. I pick him up and he asks me to take him home with me. I tell him I can't because I already have three rats and I don't have any room.
Anyway, I don't remember this part very well at all, but suddenly I look over and there are these two obese old people having raunchy sex. They look almost like a Ralph Steadman painting. Anyways, some stuff goes down and they attack me and the rat who is now on my shoulder. I don't remember how, but the rat helps me fight these people attacking me, and we're victorious or something. Anyway, the rat is now in my hand and he asks me if he can live with me now. I can tell he's very sad so I tell him he can live with me if he loves me. He then walks across my arm, onto my shoulder and kisses my on the cheek. He then falls over dead, and I wake up. It made me sad :-[ .