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Your best/fav quotes


#1

allright, scriptwriter, post up some cool quotes you came up with over the years

in almost every screenplay i wrote i put a voice over in it, dunnu why, i just love em

here are some i wrote now and then



"(V.O) The goverment makes billions selling cigarettes that kills millions, in the past, present and will in the future, i make a petty 1000 a month selling second hand marijuana, the same second hand marijuana that never killed anybody, not in the past, not in the present and i can tell you right now, it wont in the future. Now ask yourself, who’se the real villain here?"



"(V.O) And she? She was gone, just like her past was, just like her present that has now become her past, just like her future that now will never have the time, nor the ability to even become her present, let alone her past"



"(V.O) One thing i know for sure, anti-smokers have to start shutting the fuck, when somebody commits suicide by jumping a skyskraper, all of the sudden they feel sorry for him, but when somebody dies from lungcancer, caused by smoking they walk up to me, telling me it was his own fault like that guy didnt jump off that building by himself!"



(note that these are translated)


#2

Just a one liner but has stuck with me since I wrote it.



“You know you’ve lived a sad lonley life, when it’s the milkman who discovers your dead.”


#3

This is from one of my earlier scripts…



STAN

I mean, I could’ve became a painter or a poet, y’know?



PAUL

You paint?



STAN

No. I’m a fucking criminal instead.


#4

SUAVE MAN trying to swoon a beautiful lady.



SUAVE MAN

so, uh, I hear you’ve been hob-nobbing around with the, uh, hob-nobs.


#5

Heres a useless ramble I wrote down one day.



I’m watching two cats go at it.



Me

(V.O.)



Animals… All they want to do is fuck and eat. All humans wan’t to do is make money so they can fuck and eat. Its been the same for 3000 years. Wild dogs only let the most cunning, who is also their leader, reproduce. Maybe thats how humans got out of the neanderthal phase. The smart ones fucked their way to evolution. Unfortunately ever since anybody can reproduce. As long as you have the looks or the wealth or find another useless specimen like yourself you can spawn little idiots. Me, I’m one of these. Born from something other than prime material, sometimes I feel like Danny Devito in Twins. I’ve inherited all of the shit traits and none of the good.


#6

“Vampire killers, lets kill some fucking vampires!”


#7

Irritating Paul ‘’ I shot him in his asshole - he screamed like fucken pelican, and when i shot his feet off, he screamed like… an… asshole’’


#8

- Look around. There’s congressmen doin’ coke over there. Illegal doesn’t mean shit here. I could cut a kilo on the bar here, snort it all up, go in the back, and hire one girl to lick my asshole and another to suck my dick, no one would know. Not the police. Not my wife. Not even my girlfriend. This is the world I’m gonna give you.






  • (V.O.) When the next great flood, or nuclear bomb, or meteor, or technological crash comes, it will be the cockroaches of the world who survive, and inherit the earth. Societies rejects and lowlifes. The rest of you will perish with your multimedia cell phones and Viagra.











    Religion finds small rural town



    NOAH

    I just hope to God they don’t turn this into a bible belt town.

    Poor choice of words I know,… but seriously if this gets too out of hand they’ll outlaw the music we listen to, the movies we watch, games we play.



    PAUL

    Dancing.



    NOAH

    Black People.



    PAUL

    Wait, I thought they already did that.







    -You were a shitty mother, and you raised a shitty fuckin’ goddamn kid. You know what, it’s a damn good thing, that little fuck killed himself. After all it’s one less lowlife sucking on the governments titty, and stealing my money in taxes









    -GUY #1

    You do what you like. I’m not wasting a Friday night locked up in a church.



    GUY #2

    (shaking head)

    You really don’t know anything about women do you. Nothing drops a bitches panties quicker than guy who’s willing to “wait for marriage.�

    (puts fingers up into quotation marks)

    After all, a church in the middle of the night, great chance to get lost, with someone like her.

    (moves index and middle finger into fingering motion)









    a few from the 2 scripts i’ve worked on

#9

Paul: Toni, you got something in your face… wait lemme… Whack



Paul: mothafucka!


#10

Can I just say that it seems that all of you in here, are emulating Quentin Tarantino.



During the Pulp Fiction DVD, on the deleted scenes, QT explains the reason why he took out the Mia/Vincent scene where they meet for the first time and he says something about how the writing didnt feel like his own, and that is sounded like it was someone trying to write like him.

That is what all of you sound like. You overemphasise a small situation or a small description, simply because he does.

It is one thing having QT inspire you to write, but it is quite another thing having QT inspire you to write like him.



It’s all “Motherfucka” this and “describing random bullshit” that. I am not here to offend anyone, but this stuff I’ve just read is quite painful. I couldn’t picture an actor/actress saying any of it.



When I first started writing 10 years ago, I too was trying to emulate the style of who I liked, which writer, I most admired, then I realised, “Hang on, there is already that type of writer around right now, why would any studio want another one?”



If you are a natural born writer, your own style will flourish as you write, but if you’re just writing another Pulp Fiction, or another Reservoir Dogs, then all you’re good for is fan fiction.



And as for WeasleCo, your whole animals “All they ever do is eat and fuck” was surely “inspired” by Ricky Gervais’ Animals opening monologue was it not?


#11

When you learn to play the gitar you start by doing basic stuff, then you move on to other artists, play some nirvana and make it a bit more complicated as you go.



You can’t start by making the best script ever. You’ve got to learn to make scripts first. The people on here obviously like Tarantino, who has a natural gift for writing, so who do you think they are gonna copy when they practice screenplay writing?



Like yourself, you learn by learning the rules and copying others. When you’re truly great you can let those rules go a bit and start playing with them and do your own thing.


#12

[quote=“tarantino_is_god”]
When you learn to play the gitar you start by doing basic stuff, then you move on to other artists, play some nirvana and make it a bit more complicated as you go.



You can’t start by making the best script ever. You’ve got to learn to make scripts first. The people on here obviously like Tarantino, who has a natural gift for writing, so who do you think they are gonna copy when they practice screenplay writing?



Like yourself, you learn by learning the rules and copying others. When you’re truly great you can let those rules go a bit and start playing with them and do your own thing.


[/quote]FUCK YEAH! QT! QT! QT!


#13

[quote=“Cujo King”]
And as for WeasleCo, your whole animals “All they ever do is eat and fuck” was surely “inspired” by Ricky Gervais’ Animals opening monologue was it not?
[/quote]

:o No idea what you are talking about. Obviously I’m not the most creative person so I’m probably not the first to have wrote it.



Heres a goofy one I took from real life.



Mary

The customer asked if he should hold you down.



Me

Why



Mary

I think he thought you were being condiscending.



Me

Like I care what HE thinks.





And from a current screenplay.



JESSICA

So did the bosses hire anyone yet.



JOHN

They did a bunch of interviews but haven’t found any winners. They say the best one has two kids and is single.



There is silence for a moment.



JESSICA

So.



JOHN

Well, one kid is three and the other is twelve.



JESSICA

What’s wrong with that.



Johns face expresses his annoyance.



JOHN

You don’t see anything wrong with a single mom having kids that far apart. I mean, I can understand once but that’s crazy.



JESSICA

That just means the twelve year old can baby-sit the three year old.



JOHN

Yeah right. You know shes going to take a bunch of days off.



JESSICA

You are a real jerk. How is a woman supposed to support her kids. What if the boss didn’t hire you because you are single and live with two cats.



JOHN

(Corrects)

Three cats. I guess if he was allergic it would make sense.


#14

You know, it’s true that I love tarantino films. And also true that some of my dialogue is probably influenced by him, Tarantino himself is influenced by a wide array of filmmakers. Personally, not saying my dialogue isn’t similar to some writers, I feel there’s more Walter Hill, Chuck Palanuik, Richard Kelly and Kevin Smith influence to mine with just a dab of 80’s cheese.



Seriously though, while some dialogue here resembles QT, I don’t think all of it does. Why does it seem that way to you, because of the language? QT does not have copyright over “Mothafucka”, “Shit”, “Nigga”, and “Bitch”. Lots of other writers use excessive language. I try to write how I talk, I have a mouth like a sailor, and (I’ll give you this) maybe that is in part because I spent my formative years watching Tarantino, Scorcese, and Kevin Smith movies.


#15

im a directer not a writer (or at least thats what i tell myself)


#16

Matt: hey, fuck you! and your fucking badge you pig police piece a shit! :police:


#17

I personally think it takes years to perfect a script. Most of you appear to be in your late teens, early twenties, and I think if you believe what you have is good now, imagine how fantastic it will be in your thirties.

Mind you, John Singleton was 23 when he wrote and directed Boyz N The Hood. An incredible film which deserves all the praise it has recieved over the years.


#18

Dude most great screenwriters wrote their big hit in there 20’s! Right out of college. It just takes them 10 years to sell it so you might as well get a move on.


#19

Lucky Strike tries to reach towards a gun in an ankle holster.



Stevi sees him and begins to stomp Lucky in the chest and kicks him in the face.



He grunts in pain and puts up his hands in defense.



Stevi shoots him in the knee.



LUCKY STRIKE

Arrg! You bitch!



She bends down and takes the gun out of it’s holster.



She throws it across the room. Weazel approaches.



WEAZEL

Doc. What we gonna do to him?





STEVI

Let him live up to his name.



Stevi takes her gun, she shoots Lucky four times in the face.



WEAZEL

Holy shit, like a bowling ball!



STEVI

Strike.





Stevi holsters her gun, turns and walks away.



Weazel shakes his head in disbelief.


#20

[quote=“WeaselCo”]
Dude most great screenwriters wrote their big hit in there 20’s! Right out of college. It just takes them 10 years to sell it so you might as well get a move on.
[/quote]

I’m 38, and I personally don’t need to “get a move on”. I’ve been selling my material since I was 26. :slight_smile: