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You know you've seen too many Asian Movies, when


#1

Come on, let’s have a little fun! 8)

You know you’ve seen too many Asian Movies, when . . .


  • there’s more money-transfer on your PayPal-Account, than on your local Bank-Account
  • you bought a random DVD, just because the girl on the cover was hot
  • your first concern at buying a new DVD player isn’t about image-quality, but about Region-Free encoding
  • you can tell from the style of a Kung-Fu-Scene, which Fight-Choreographer has been helming the Action-Scenes
  • everytime your friends invite you to a Hollywood-Movie, you answer: “No thanks, I already know the Original.”
  • you bitch about quick-cut-fight-scenes, but if such a thing occurs in Asian Movies, you call it “Dynamic Editing”
  • you miss 50% of the visuals of any western movie, because you are constantly staring on the lower third of the screen
  • you say afterwards: “Sorry folks, couldn’t follow, the subtitles were too damn fast.”
  • the term “Asian Movie” is pissing you off

#2

-You watch Western films (or your own language films) with subtitles on

-You constantly walk past all the Western DVD’s in the sales and head straight for the ONE Asian DVD shelf of fully priced items



You named all the other good ones, especially about the multi-region coded DVD player!


#3

Damn great topic, thanks.


  • Your friends are going to movies to see a new asian movie and they ask you to come along and you answer: “Actually I bought the dvd two years ago. But okay, I wanna see on big screen”.
  • Someone asks you to come see an english language movie and you reply “No, I don’t want to have to listen the dialogue”.
  • You realize what the “schoolgirl fuss” is all about.
  • You refuse to watch dvds that don’t have mono track.
  • You hate Disney and want to kill the Weinstein brothers.

#4

- You refer to japanese films with their original titles

  • You start buying foreign language movies without subtitles
  • You claim you can understand them without subtitles
  • You’re watching a japanese wip film and you can name all the actors who play the guards… and the prisoners
  • You feel the need to praise a film no one has ever heard of
  • You take pleasure of knowing people don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about
  • You greet your friends with a yakuza girl gang greeting
  • You use HK triad hand shake to confirm deals
  • You’ve given a serious though on buying a school uniform… even though they don’t use school uniforms in your country… and you’re no longer in school
  • You think Steven Seagal is cool because he went to Japan and married a japanese girl

#5

[quote]- you bought a random DVD, just because the girl on the cover was hot[/quote]
What if she isn’t asian? I don’t think this was one so strange :wink:


#6

[quote=“Jelle”]
What if she isn’t asian? I don’t think this was one so strange :wink:
[/quote]

I wouldn’t buy a dvd for non-asian girl


#7

You write punk rock songs about Takeshi Kitano.


#8

[quote=“Hung Fist”]

  • You refer to japanese films with their original titles
  • You start buying foreign language movies without subtitles
  • You claim you can understand them without subtitles
    [/quote]

God, that sounds familiar. I usually say that I can tell by the body language and odd words.

[quote=“Hung Fist”]

  • You feel the need to praise a film no one has ever heard of
  • You take pleasure of knowing people don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about
    [/quote]

Haha, I do that all the time.

[quote=“Hung Fist”]

  • You’ve given a serious though on buying a school uniform… even though they don’t use school uniforms in your country… and you’re no longer in school
    [/quote]

Luckily, I had school uniforms in my country. All the other kids hate having uniforms, but I totally loved it. Too bad, I don’t go to school anymore.



-You start listening to Asian music, reading about Japanese fashion trends and reading all manner of translated Japanese books.

-People wonder why you love girly Japanese pop music and yet hate all pop music in English.

-People genuinely worry about your mental condition after you tell them about what you describe as the best Takashi Miike scenes.

-You actually like that people think you’re insane for watching Miike.

-Your brothers and sisters routinely tell people that you “don’t watch films in English” when they ask if you want to see a new movie.

-You cry when you encounter a Jackie Chan dub that doesn’t sound at all like Jackie Chan speaking English.


#9

I think we should re-title this topic into “Facts of Asian movie fans”. Cause those are facts ;D

[quote=“Angel”]
-You cry when you encounter a Jackie Chan dub that doesn’t sound at all like Jackie Chan speaking English.
[/quote]

  • You even cry when it’s Jackie himself doing the english dub. And yet you don’t mind none of Jackie’s cantonese and mandarin films prior to Police Story 3 feature his real voice…

#10

[quote=“Hung Fist”]
I think we should re-title this topic into “Facts of Asian movie fans”. Cause those are facts ;D
[/quote]

Tell me about it. It almost isn’t even funny. It makes me feel like a complete loser.

[quote=“Hung Fist”]

  • You even cry when it’s Jackie himself doing the english dub. And yet you don’t mind none of Jackie’s cantonese and mandarin films prior to Police Story 3 feature his real voice…
    [/quote]

Hahahaha, so true. Man, that just made me think how illogical I can sometimes be.


#11

- When you start eating (normal food) with chop sticks



that was another fact of myself.


#12

- When you say to a friend (while watching a DVD in his house): “Can we please switch to Cantonese audio, because Mandarin gives me a headache!” ;D


#13

[quote=“diceman”]

  • When you say to a friend (while watching a DVD in his house): “Can we please switch to Cantonese audio, because Mandarin gives me a headache!” ;D
    [/quote]

Assuming Cantonese is the intended audio of course. Even if most of the cast were really Mandarin speakers. Watching a Cantonese film in Mandarin is not an option.


#14

[quote=“Hung Fist”]

  • When you start eating (normal food) with chop sticks



    that was another fact of myself.
    [/quote]

Yeah, i do that. My japanese home stay family gave me “high class chopsticks”, or so it apparently says in kanji on the top of the wooden box.



Another fact of mine:



-You switch your Nintendo DS and other consoles to Japanese language and pretend like you understand what everything says.