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The man with the Samurai Sword


#1

This is my Samurai/Kung Fu story:



A young just married couple celebrates their wedding. The man goes out to buy milk, only to find his wife gone and their baby dead then he comes home. After some “mental therapy”(huge amounts of beer) he meets a old japance man who tells him he knows who killed his family, a group of the yakuza in LA. The japanece man takes him first to china and learns kung fu from a very old pai-mei-like blind man. The japanece man then takes him to japan and teach him to use a katana. He then gives him one. But then he starts to chop heads and arms of the yakuza, he starts to realise that somethng is not that it seems to be. Some one else killed his baby… some one he trusted, but who?



Ok, how douse that sound like? Should need to build up the characters and douse any one know some good kung fu music?


#2

how does he realize that ‘something is not that it seems to be’? Why does his baby get killed? Does his wife get kidnapped? you need to put in more details…whatever you have written here is not new (training and everything). The story that you will build around it will be the important part. Like why the baby gets killed, what did the yakuza have against him/his wife etc…

Maybe you have all this figured out in your head, but I cant tell anything from whatever you have written here.


#3

[quote=“RedApple”]
how does he realize that ‘something is not that it seems to be’? Why does his baby get killed? Does his wife get kidnapped? you need to put in more details…whatever you have written here is not new (training and everything). The story that you will build around it will be the important part. Like why the baby gets killed, what did the yakuza have against him/his wife etc…

Maybe you have all this figured out in your head, but I cant tell anything from whatever you have written here.
[/quote]

The story is sort of traditional, but everything hangs on a big plottwist.


#4

[quote=“VikingWithNoName”]
The story is sort of traditional, but everything hangs on a big plottwist.
[/quote]

that it was the japanese man who killed his family?


#5

[quote=“Crazy Kenneth”]
that it was the japanese man who killed his family?
[/quote]

Better. His wife.


#6

I think you’re gonna need more than just a clever twist to make this appear original. Kinda feels like “Kill Bill” with a dude. But it’s like I’ve said before it’s hard to tell from an idea what the final story will be like even if you’re the guy writing it.



Also you’ve only referred to it as a story. What form of story is it going to be? A full length film, a short film, a novel, a short story, one big paragraph?


#7

[quote=“Dex”]
I think you’re gonna need more than just a clever twist to make this appear original. Kinda feels like “Kill Bill” with a dude. But it’s like I’ve said before it’s hard to tell from an idea what the final story will be like even if you’re the guy writing it.



Also you’ve only referred to it as a story. What form of story is it going to be? A full length film, a short film, a novel, a short story, one big paragraph?
[/quote]

You are right… Screw the Kill Bill references. Keep the katana and the twist. Let’s revive an even more dead genre than kung fu movies: detectiv-movies. A Charlie Chan for the 21th cencury. With samurai swords. And a blues playing japanece man. And explotions.


#8

the man just need revenged. that is all what i thought. the reason why he trained to use katana is because he will come back again to find the person who kill his family.


#9

This was a retarded idea from to begin with. I gonna try do something more original.



Like vikings fighting Werewolfs in Transylvania or something like that