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Heart Of Darkness


#1

From Dusk Till Dawn meets Night Of The Living Dead. EXT. LIQUOR STORE - DAY - ESTABLISHING A small liquor store surrounded by lavishing forestry. INT. LIQUOR STORE A sign “CLOSED” in the entrance door. A young woman, SABEL, rougish yet very attractive(21), has a .44 Magnum clutched in both her hands, she points it at an old man who is opening up the register behind the counter. SABEL Good, empty it all out pops, you give me any shit and I swear I’ll unload this fucking gun in your face! She turns her head slightly, still keeping an eye on the old man. SABEL Everything okay back there, baby? A tall, sturdy man, Lance (29), holds two youngsters hostage. He winks at her as he aims a sawn-off shotgun at the two youngsters. LANCE These little pieces of turd aren’t goin’ anywhere. The old man places the money in an orange duffle bag. SABEL Suck on this. She fires her gun multiple times, Lance’s shotgun goes off in the background. Both proceed to walk out the door, Sabel turns the CLOSED sign over, it reads:“OPEN”. FADE OUT:


#2

i would change the title. this sounds like joseph conrad ,-9


#3

you have obviously just seen from dusk til dawn (again) and not really thought about the movie your writing.


#4

I got me thinkin’ in my thinkin’ chair…I says to myself, I says; what if I stole Yolanda and Ringo from Pulp and put them in the same situation as From Dusk Till’ only with zombies.


#5

so you’re not being original, which isn’t good i think. the pulp speech jules gives is taken from an early draft of from dusk till dawn, and the vampires in fdtd are kinda like zombies.



i think if you want to write a good script, the first thing you gotta do is be original. that’s what everyone will tell you


#6

I can see now why you’d need to steal other people’s ideas.


#7

I thought this was gonna be a thread about that horrible movie and apparently good book.



Ok, first, im sick of all the women in movies being like, just out of school or something and killing zombies. I think 21 is to young, but this obviously isnt that important, but id love to see a late 20s, or 30s woman. She’ll still be attractive and it wont look like you just wanna include some hot young thing. I also agree, adn i think you know that its not very original. I think you have some talent, you just need to do something more original, and i think it would be alot better. Basically, you have some skills, just put them to better use. :slight_smile: