I was wondering if I could post a racial slur exchange after Vernita says “I should’ve been motherfuckin black mamba.” They would be combined with their codenames, of course. So… can I?
if it’s parody…I guess so. don’t be gratuitous in your racial slur, keep it as soft as possible, make it fun. there’s probably a lot to say.
It doesnt matter cuz Im not using it in the script. Its already written.
[quote=“Pete”]
It doesnt matter cuz Im not using it in the script. Its already written.
[/quote]
That’s ok, I wasn’t thinking about your script. Which is very good.
First of all, I do not mean to offend anyone, however offensive (and foolish) this following text may be. If an admin or mod finds it too offensive, I perfectly understand why it is to be removed. Furthermore I’d like to apologise in advance to anybody who might feel insulted.
Anyway, this you ain’t never gonna hear in Kill Bill:
Vernita: I should’ve been motherfuckin black mamba.
Bride: Or rather, black mammy sips coffee
Vernita: Oh really? Then you’d be crackerhead, wouldn’t you, bitch?
Bride: No, because your already crowhead–err, coonhead–no sorry, cunthead–whoops!
Vernita: You know what? Why don’t just keep your codename and shove it up your ass… albino mamba.
Bride: You know, to me that’s a compliment, Mrs. Vernita Gable.
Vernita: Very funny bitch, VERY FUNNY–
shoots concealed gun, the nimrod misses, gets impaled by a knife. The Bride stares her down, then Nikki comes.
Bride: What are you looking at, gator bait?
Obviously this would never happen, so don’t take it seriously. I know, I have a bad sense of humour.
Did I miss something?
yeah. I guess you missed some pretty cool fake scenes by Pete. that guy is a real crazy badass motherfucker, I love him.
Love is in the air…
[quote=“Tristan”]
yeah. I guess you missed some pretty cool fake scenes by Pete. that guy is a real crazy badass motherfucker, I love him.
[/quote]
I was talking about the post above mine, smartass.
Its one thing to do a parody on QTs writing style like we’ve been doing but to start using racist words kinda makes it lose its fun for me. Especially when its not called for.
Yeah
I understand, that’s why I asked. As I said, I have a bad sense of humour. I thought Pulp Fiction was a comical extravaganza.
[quote=“Ify”]
I was talking about the post above mine, smartass.
[/quote]
1.) Dontcha be calling me a smartass.
2.)You’re a fckin pro, for sure you already know about Pete’s work.
3.)I was joking.
Well you’ve read my Volume 1 stuff. Here is my Volume 2 stuff:
Bill: [dying] How do I look?
The Bride: You look fucked up, you ugly old bastard. I can’t believe I let you enter me. Jesus.
[Bride walks away disgusted]
Elle Driver: Bill.
Budd: Wrong brother, you hateful bitch.
Elle Driver: Bernard?
Budd: Nope.
Elle Driver: Ben?
Budd: Nuh uh.
Elle Driver: Brad?
Budd: Try again.
Elle Driver: Bob?
Budd: Wrong.
Elle Driver: Barton?
Budd: No.
Elle Driver: Buck?
Budd: Wrong again.
Elle Driver: Budd?
Budd: No.
Elle Driver: Burt?
Budd: Nope, wait, go back one
Elle Driver: Budd?
Budd: Bingo.
Bill: Pai Mei taught you the five point palm-exploding heart technique?
The Bride: No, I looked it up on the internet.
Bill: Aso, it all suddenly seems so clear.
The Bride: Some nice alliteration there
Bill: Thanks.
[Esteban, an 80-year-old pimp, appraises The Bride]
Esteban Vihaio: If I had met you forty years ago, you would have been my Number One lady.
The Bride: Tut, Jesus, what the fuck is it with these old bastards coming on to me? Yo, pimp, I fucking hate you. You probably have herpes and syphilis. I would never touch you.
Esteban Vihaio: Good gravy Mary.
[a few minutes after being shot by the truth dart that was supposed to cause euphoria]
The Bride: How long does this shit take to go into effect?
Bill: About two minutes. Just long enough for me to finish my point.
[Bill continues with his Superman story]
The Bride: [begging] Please, just kill me now.
Pai Mei: So my pathetic friend… is there anything that you can do well?
[The Bride does her Columbo impression]
Larry Gomez: I don’t know what car wash you worked in that allowed you to walk in twenty minutes late, but it wasn’t owned by me and I own a fucking car wash.
Budd: Have I missed something? Why the motherfuck are you talking about car wash’s all of a sudden?
Elle Driver: Bill tells me you had a Hanzo sword once.
Budd: Yeah.
Elle Driver: [examining the Bride’s sword] How does this one compare to that one?
Budd: Mine was better.
Pai Mei: Do you believe you are my match?
The Bride: No.
Pai Mei: Are you aware I kill at will?
The Bride: Yes.
Pai Mei: Is it your wish to die?
The Bride: No. Jesus, what’s up with the 99 questions? I just came here to learn how to fight, goddamnit.
Bill: As you know, l’m quite keen on comic books. Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating. Take my favorite superhero, Superman. Not a gre…
The Bride: Blah blah, tell it to Dr.Phil, nobody cares.
[tear runs down Bill’s face]
[Elle and The Bride each have a sword in hand]
Elle Driver: What’s that?
The Bride: Budd’s Hanzo sword.
Elle Driver: He said he pawned it.
The Bride: Guess that makes him a liar, don’t it?
Elle Driver: Do you really have to guess?
The Bride: No, I don’t really have to guess… I know.
Elle Driver: Come on home, honey.
The Bride: What?
Elle Driver: Fuck, I have the wrong script.
Budd: Looky here, bitch, this is a can of Mace. Now, you’re going underground tonight, and that’s all there is to it. But, when I bury you, I was gonna bury you with this.
Budd: [holds up a flashlight alongside the can of Mace]
Budd: But if you’re gonna act like a horse’s ass, I’ll spray this whole goddamn can… RIGHT IN YOUR EYEBALLS!
Budd: [holds can of Mace right in front the Bride’s right eye]
Budd: I’ll burn ‘em out of your fuckin’ head. Then you’ll be blind, burnin’, and buried alive. So what’s it gonna be, sister?
The Bride: I’m your sister? God damn!! Then what me and Bill did was illegal… and sick.
[The Bride pukes up a little in her mouth]
Bill: [the Bride lunges for Bill’s sword, Bill draws a gun and shoots, barely missing her] Now if you don’t settle down, I’m gonna have to put one in your kneecap. And I hear tell that’s a very painful place to get shot in.
The Bride: Oh, so you’ve seen Reservoir Dogs too?
Bill: Quentin made me watch it.
Bill: [about B.B.'s pet fish] She told me later, that the second she lifted up her foot and saw him not flapping, she knew he was dead. Is that not the perfect visual image of life and death? A fish flapping on the carpet, and a fish not flapping on the carpet?
The Bride: Yes that is a good visual image. Yet another visual image would be you yapping on about all this bollocks, and you NOT yapping on about all this bollocks and laying on the floor DEAD.
[tear runs down Bill’s face]
Budd: You’re telling me she cut her way through eighty-eight bodyguards before she got to O-Ren?
Bill: Nah, there weren’t really eighty-eight of them. They just called themselves “The Crazy 88.”
Budd: Or… or, maybe this dialogue just serves the purpose of justifying the fact that there weren’t actually 88 of them. So basically, Quentin is just giving us this dialogue in the second film to make up for his error in the first film. You know, kinda like how in Pulp Fiction the line is “and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of ya”, but later in the film it changes to “and I’ll execute every one of you motherfuckers”. Then Quentin spit some shit like “Oh, it’s because of the difference of perceptions of different characters, alright”.
Bill: Yes, come to think of it, I guess you’re right.
Budd: Do you really have to guess?
Bill: No, I don’t really have to guess… I know.
Budd: Come on home, honey.
Bill: What the fuck you talking about, I’m right here.
Budd: Oh shit, damn, I’m holding the wrong script.
Pai Mei: [punches through a block of wood from three inches away] Since your arm now belongs to me, I want it strong. Can you do that?
The Bride: I can, but not that close.
Pai Mei: Then you can’t do it. What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him?
The Bride: Dude, be serious. As if I’m EVER going to need to punch through something three inches away from me.
[Pai Mei goes into his hut and starts dialing a number on his phone]
Budd: Howdy partner… A coffin you say? Ok, will do.
[Budd puts phone down]
Pai Mei: Muawhahahaha
[Pai Mei strokes beard]
[his opinion of Tommy]
Bill: When I first saw him… I like his hair.
The Bride: Aaaaahhh… you faggot.
[Tear runs down Bill’s face]
Larry Gomez: The hat. That fucking hat. How many times did I tell you not to wear that fucking hat?
Budd: Customers wear hats.
Larry Gomez: I’m not the boss of the customers, I’m the boss of you, and I’m telling you to keep that shit kicker hat at home.
[Tear runs down Robert Rodriguez’s face]
Bill: You’re a Natural Born Killer.
The Bride: Nah, don’t be silly, that’s just Pulp Fiction.
Bill: It’s not, honest. I mean it. You’re my Jackie Brown!!
The Bride: Awwww… that really is True Romance!
Bill: Oh yes. So you wanna go do it?
The Bride: Sure, I want to experience Motherhood! But which position do you want to do me in?
Bill: Reservoir Doggy style?
The Bride: [giggling] Oh shit, then that means I’m in Grave Danger.
Bill: Unless you’re Death Proof.
The Bride: We’ll see. Well, we better hurry up because I’ve gotta go to party later - It’s my Best Friend’s Birthday.
Genius! ;D 8)
damn Ify…
LMFAO…that’s pretty goddamn good, I love the [tears run down anybody’s face] bits…
LMFAO is right, good stuff.
Thanks guys. It’s weird because I wasn’t in a funny kind of mood when I did those, and it was really demoralising whilst I was writing them especially after reading my Volume 1 one’s which I thought were pretty funny (even if I say so myself). So I was worried about the reactions.
don’t be (worried).
[quote]Bill: You’re a Natural Born Killer.
The Bride: Nah, don’t be silly, that’s just Pulp Fiction.
Bill: It’s not, honest. I mean it. You’re my Jackie Brown!!
The Bride: Awwww… that really is True Romance!
Bill: Oh yes. So you wanna go do it?
The Bride: Sure, I want to experience Motherhood! But which position do you want to do me in?
Bill: Reservoir Doggy style?
The Bride: [giggling] Oh shit, then that means I’m in Grave Danger.
Bill: Unless you’re Death Proof.
The Bride: We’ll see. Well, we better hurry up because I’ve gotta go to party later - It’s my Best Friend’s Birthday.[/quote]
that gotta be the best one. it just kicks ass.
now I think of it…I’d have said:
The Bride: We’ll see. Well, we better hurry up because I’m gonna party from dusk till dawn - It’s my best friend’s birthday.
He forgot also Inglorious Bastards