[code]BLACK SCREEN
NARRATOR
Coming Christmas 2005!
Clip of Rob Schnieder in Deuce Bigalow
NARRATOR (cont'd)
First he was a hooker
Clip of Rob Schneider in The Animal
NARRATOR (cont'd)
Then he was a Jackass, I mean
Donkey among other animals!
Clip of Rob Schnieder in The Hot Chick
NARRATOR (cont'd)
And Christmas last year he became a
really really hot chick!
TITTLE CARD:
THIS SUMMER ROB SCHNEIDER WILL BECOME
ADAM SANDLER
A GAY MUMMY FROM THE YEAR 3007 AD
WHO HAS TRAVELED TO THE FUTURE SO
HE CAN FIND HIS REAL FATHER.
EXT. CITY STREET - AFTERNOON
Rob Schneider as the Gay Mummy is walking down the street,
funky music plays, he passes by a hot guy and slaps his ass,
the mummy turns around and winks making a face at the hot guy
as a centipede crawls out of his nose and into his ear. The
hot guy runs away with his arms in the air and his scream as
loud as a spaceship taking off.
NARRATOR
But there is only one problem. His
father is...
INT. LABRATORY - NIGHT
A scientist holding a bucket of semen yells to the mummy...
SCIENTIST
SANTA CLAUS!
ROB SCHNIEDER
(dumb and gay [as usual]
SANTA. CLAUS.?
SCIENTIST
You must travel to the North Pole
immediately!
EXT. NIGHT SKY - NIGHT
Rob Schneider is ridding on a small airplane looking over the
beautiful earth.
NARRATOR
But he'll meet many evildoers on
the way!
A pirate ship pulls up next to the airplane and mini aborted
fetus's began eating the airplane.
ROB SCHNIEDER
Aborted Fetus's oh no!
NARRATOR
But that's not all.
EXT. NORTH POLE - DAY
A nuclear power plant is located next to Santa's Workshop.
Evil mutated elfs attack Rob Schneider, extreme action music
begins.
TITLE CARD:
THIS CHRISTMAS
Clip of the Mummy french kissing a super hot chick.
TITTLE CARD:
CHOOSE
Clip of the Mummy fighting the elfs, he kicks one square in
the nuts.
TITTLE CARD:
YOUR
Clip of Santa shooting a gun at Satan
TITLE CARD:
DESTINY
Various Clips of The Mummy fighting the elves. The aborted
fetuses, Satan, The Mummy doing A backflip onto a moving
truck, a fat chick farting, the mummy saying "You Can Do
it!", the hot chick the mummy was kisSing earlier about to
have her head chopped off and the mummy taking a dump.
ROB SCHNIEDER
Privacy. Please. TANK YOU.
MUSIC ENDS. TRAILER CREDITS PLAY
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