[quote]Every bad experience makes you both stronger and wiser in the long run. You feel like you’re into a lot of shit right now and there’s little to no hope for you. Believe me - in two years’ time you won’t even remember the exam stress you’ve been through or your girl’s last name. It’s just a cycle, happens to every one of us.[/quote]
That’s only true if you’re able to pull yourself back together after said bad experience, or you’ve convinced yourself that you played no part in making the bad experience come to pass. Maybe I’m just one of those people that isn’t capable of forgetting all the ways I’ve fucked up a good thing, but I think some mistakes never go away because like you said; it’s a cycle. It always comes back. It’s like the old Bright Eyes song “A Line Allows Progress, a Circle Does Not”.
As far as being alone, I love being alone, but only sometimes. My ex used to refer to me as “alone in the crowd”, which actually upset me when he first said it. But it’s true. I am a very introspective person, and I LOVE having “conversations” with myself. I always did as a little girl and I still do. As a kid I would take off into the woods with my dog and my pet goat (don’t laugh!!) and sit for hours just thinking and being with myself. It’s an incredible feeling.
That’s kind of the way my childhood was as well. Well, without the dog and goat that is. Even though I had a pretty large family and we typically lived in small houses I’d still find ways to be alone. Even if it was just tucking myself under an end table and losing myself in the lives of my action figures for a few hours. High School is where I started to branch out and make friends, most of which I still have today. But then there was a period a few years ago where I kind of regressed back into my reclusive self and I’ve completely lost all social skills again. I sometimes think of my childhood as training for this particular period in my life.