Well i will put an interesting story with a lot of twists and turns in it. Also will put alot of music in it like orcerstra and laten and all differnt types a music and one of my main music composors that i will put there music in my movies is ennio morricone. My movies will be humorious and have funny dialog and serious dialog in it. The movies i will make will be Gangster films, Martial arts, Westerns, and Horrors and they will be extremly violent. Like in my Martial arts movies people are going to get there heads cut off and there brain will show and they will get sliced in half or stabbed in the chest and there intestents will show. In my gangster films when people get shot with lets say a pistol and its in the head there hole head will be coverd in blood and blood will be all over the walls and everywhere and if they get shot in the head with a shotgun there head will explode same goes for legs and arms but in the chest there rib cage will show and in the back there spinal cord will show. With a atomatic gun if they get shot everywhere blood will be all over them and all over the room and walls and there flesh will be taken off. There will be tourcher scenes in my movies which will be violent and funny and cool. Last and my favorite of all when people die by the killers, the killers or some perverted people will go and rape the dead bodies and thats about it. SO PLEASE READ AND REPLIE BUT NOW I GOTS TO BEATS ME MEATS SO LATER BIOCHES HAHAHA.
your movie will suck, believe me…
if you just concentrate on violence no-one will pay attention to your movie…
and how do you know your movie’s gonna be humorous?
you can post some lines to prove us you know what humor is
[quote=“clown”]
your movie will suck, believe me…
if you just concentrate on violence no-one will pay attention to your movie…
and how do you know your movie’s gonna be humorous?
you can post some lines to prove us you know what humor is
[/quote]
Ok let me just explain that my movies wont just be about violence they will be really violent like kill bill in the scenes that have violence in them but they wont be all about violence some of my movies will have romance and alot of diolog and complex storylines with a lot of characters and sweet camera shots like birds eye view and if there is a city for example like in my westerns the camera will be set up right in the center of the 2 rows of buildings and it will have no nose except maybe the wind and the birds and a tumble weed sweeping against the streets and other camera shots.  but i am only 15 so i still have alot of practice but i hope you like it for my age and it’s a little script its not that big.
Vito: Yo kid this is the fucking best part of the movie.
Eddie: I don’t know how much longer I can wait I want to know what fucking happens.
Vito: Kid that will fucking ruin it for you, the women is about to suck the black mans cock.
Eddie: You just told me it.
Vito: What the fuck are you talking about, Listen up brotha I told you what happen when it was already going on.  That’s not telling you what happened.
Eddie: Oh fuck you, your always right and you always will be, for god sakes why don’t you be my fuck father you cock sucker!
Vito: Listen you can do 2 things watch this action going on and if you don’t want to watch this then you can smoke some pot choose one kiddo.
Eddie: Fine I’ll smoke some pot, its wrong watching it with a friend anyways.
(phone rings)
Vito: Eddie get the fucking phone before I stick it up your ass.
Eddie: (high) Yo hommie you should try this it’s straight tripping bro.
Vito: Not right now hippie.
Vito: Hello…. Oh hi hunny… Uhhh…. Yea I have someone over right now uhhh Eddie… Yea he is a fucking pussy… what?… oh shit… alright I’ll right down.  Alright you had your fun but its time to stop acting like a hippie and get focused, someone robbed my wife’s store.
Eddie: I cant right right now I feel like I weigh 2 pounds.
Vito: I’m not going to wait anymore get your fat ass down here.
Eddie: hahahaha…. Oh my god I see fuzzy animals.
Vito: Oh forget, Hey Eddie Why don’t you go fuck those fuzzy animals.
Eddie: WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU.
Vito: that’s it I’m leaving.
(at store)
Anna: where the fuck were you!
Vito: I’m sorry I was trying to get Eddie to come along but he was smoking____
Anna: Oh I don’t want to hear it.
Vito: Love bug I’m serious Eddie was smoking pot and I was worried__
Anna: Oh so you were worried about that fuck face but not me… MY FUCKING PLACE GOT ROBBED!!!
Vito: alright hunny I made a mistake don’t be a fucking bitch or I will rob this place got that love bug
Anna: Alright, Alright no more sex then if you do that.
Vito: no wait, wait YOU CANT DO THAT I WONT LET YOU I’M THE KING THE RULER AND I CONTROL YOU
Anna: Oh yea
Vito: yea
Cop: excuse me everyone
Anna: ok go destroy my place if brave enough
Vito: Oh being risky huh.
Anna: Yea
Vito: Yea
Cop: EXCUSE ME FELLAS
Both Vito and Anna: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!!!
Cop: I’m a cop goddamnit.
Anna: oh sorry, why didn’t you say so.
Cop: I did uhhh… I was trying to uhhh…. Oh forget it what is the problem.
Anna: my fucking place got robbed that’s what happened(wispers) fucking fat ass
Cop: alright calm down I’m trying to help you
Anna: ok sorry, well I was just readying Victoria secret and this bitch came along with his double barrel shotgun and threaten to kill me if I don’t give him money.  I felt like I was going to piss my pants which I did and then I had no choice so I gave him the money, and that shit wouldn’t of happened if my loving honcho would give me a FUCKING GUN
Vito: Oh shut the fuck up ho
Anna: Ho who you calling ho
Vito: you heard me goldylox.
Cop: FELLAS FELLAS JUST CALM DOWN
Anna: sorry please continue
Cop: ok well that’s a start now if you would tell me what this guy looks like
Anna: ok this bitch__
Cop: don’t call him a bitch he isn’t a female dog for crise sakes.
Anna: OH FUCK YOU BART SIMPSON
Cop: I love that show
Anna: I was referring you to that character because bart simpson is a smart ass and that’s what your being.
Cop: I was just telling you that the guy is not a female___
Anna: I fucking know that, that’s what people call people and besides I have a female dog at my house and I call her bitch all the time, that’s what me Vito named her, we named her bitch, jesus what planet did you come from cripton.
Cop: alright sorry just tell me what this fucker looks like.
Anna: Ok he’s about 6’4 and he’s pretty heavy, he has a Fomancho and a dirty black mullet.
Cop: you what car or Licence plate he has.
Anna: no mother fucker I was lying in my own piss
Cop: Ok well we’ll try to find him thank you for your time but I would watch out if I were you other cops would of arrested you for talking to them like that but anyways we will get back to you as soon as we find him. Good day
Vito: I’m going to kill that fucker
Anna: what?
Vito: never mind I’m headed over to Rico’s house
Anna: are you going to have dinner
Vito: are you cooking it
Anna: yea
Vito: then no
Anna: wait one second
Vito: what the fuck is it
Anna: what about Eddie what am I going to do with him
Vito: uhhhh fuck him
Anna: Will you stop joking around for at least 1 time  Bo-Bo the clown
Vito: alright just kick him out of the house and if that doesn’t work then kill him got that.
Anna: fine, but I still cant believe why you wont eat my food ever.  I get sick and tired of it.  I like to cook and our whole family likes my food except for you.  I just don’t get it, I just don’t fucking get it.  Fine Vito if you wont eat my food then just do what you always do
Vito: and what’s that
Anna: eat fast food
Vito: hey sista just do what you always do sign up for the beauty contest its just five blocks away
Anna: fine I will
Vito: alright see you later Miss Congeniality
By the way my script before then was deleted so this script might have some spelling or grammer errors
[quote=“KingQuentin”]
and if there is a city for example like in my westerns the camera will be set up right in the center of the 2 rows of buildings and it will have no nose except maybe the wind and the birds and a tumble weed sweeping against the streets and other camera shots.
[/quote]
Man that’s the Leone shot, okay maybe not “his”, but before i even finished reading it all i was thinkin was good, bad, ugly shot. But you 15, and that’s cool, every writer, good and bad always start with inspiration from others, same ape it, till their own style comes out, but you thinkin over it all now means you gonna be goin places with your ideas, they’ll change etc. And i’m not just comin down on you just over what i quoted, just you know, voicing view, hopin taken right way and helps you.
I don’t wanna comment much on your script, cause if i ain’t into script, i just ain’t.
Don’t know whether this beginning of story, but you should pick up or easier look at a script online. Learn basics, got link for ya, set you straight on format.
http://www.scriptsales.com/ScriptPageDialogue.html
Ok thanks i will try to read more scripts and practice writing more and hopefully I’ll get better.
Chill man i ain’t puttin you down or shit, just sayin.
I’m not saying that your putting me down i am thanked you for your help and i just said hopefully i’ll get better at what i’ll do.
The movie I’m writing is about a man who gets mystical powers from an alien and must stop a group of defacto aliens from making weapons in chinese factories so they can take over there home planet where weapons are forbidden. The catch is he is a monk and will not kill living beings so he must dispose of his attackers in non-lethal ways. Till he gets to the big bad guy who has a group of androids protecting him. Then he pulls out a sword and has fun.
It’s your average buddhist monk, alien, wizardry, and android film.
There was also The Laundryman that me and regilio started making.
This is from the kill bill forums, when they were still around.
We will open with regillio in a narrative.
"Every time I went to the Laundromat I just hoped he wasn’t there. His eyes pierced my soul everytime he looked at me. I always thought he came off as a psychotic killer. But at the laundromat I learned a well know lesson. That you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Not that he wasn’t a psychotic killer, because he was, but I never would have guessed that on that quiet night in this small town things would soon get loud."
Then we would see outside the laundromat window a space ship crash near by. Then bad looking aliens would come out guns blazing.
Cue intro Music.
Now the Laundry man would be ex-military but cannot reveal exactly what he did but he seems kind of loopy. Still played by bruce campbell. Just luckily hes paranoid and keeps a weapons cache in his trunk. His favorite weapon… The BOOMSTICK.
Regilio, you can be the neo-samurai charecture who slashes up the Aliens to bits.
I will be the nerd who plays too much shooting games on his computer and thus know how to handle firing and angling corners and such.
Then we can have some hot female charectures who wash there thongs.
Cotton can be a guy at the fast-food place next door who will get mowed down by alien gun fire.
"Thats the only good customer service he’s provided."
And it will be just a non stop gun blazing movie. If you still want Fishburne he could be the Sheriff.
Quotes from the laundry man.
Laundry Man, “I came here today to wash my clothes with soap not alien guts.”
"The Earth is like a washing maching since it is full of water. It is like a dryer because it spins. It is like a laundromat because it needs change."
And by the time we’ve pretty much wasted every alien you’ll be the only one left when the government guys get there.
Maybe we can do it like the usual suspects with Regilio in a small room talking to agents.
First, go to school. Either your English is bad because it isn’t your first language, or, you need to learn who to write fluently. It’s annoying when there are no periods in a long string of sentences kind of like this i wanna be like tarantino i love gore and blood bbrains shit fuck dick trick ass bitch you had me motherfucking fooled wanan smoek some rad shit hey man lets fuck these niggas up.
Second off, try to incorporate more structure into your scripts that you have displayed here and there on the boards. There’s lots of unrealistic and unnecessary dialogue, whcih seems like it was just thrown in there to sound like Tarantino. We don’t really need another Tarantino, he does a good enough job being who he is. Also, have the dialogue move the scene forward, rather than just write down slutty bitch ass ho every other line.
Congrats if none of your scripts are actually serious, because you had me fooled. Those would be hilarious. But at least you have a passion for movies. Nothing can stop that passion. Maybe with some grammar skills and practice under you’re belt, you will surpass Tarantino. But who knows.
Good luck to your endeavors. 
When I was 15, I wrote worst than that. Maybe I still do. Though my Toliet Clogger story was a crowd pleaser. ^-^
OMGOMGOMGMOGMGMGMG
MAH MOVIE IS GONN’ BE DA GREETEST MUVIE EVER… MAn IT GONN’ HAVE ALL THE SHIT PEOPLE LIKE AN EVERYTHING GONN WIN 15 OSCARS AND BE COOL AS SHIT, YO.
By the way, KingQuentin, do you really need to swear so much?
So said the word “fuck” 29 times in a single page.
I didn’t even count the times you said, “cock,” bitch," “ass,” “ho” etc.
No one swears that much in conversations.
Also, it looks really amateurish, and takes away from the actual story. I couldn’t even tell you what was going on after a while, because the “fucks” kept on distracting me.
Also, learn how to at least format a screenplay properly. Dude, read some screenplays before you even try to write one.
Can you honestly imagine someone trying to write a novel without ever reading a novel before? Do you know what that would even look like? Jesus.
dead chismosos
a pit of carnage
dominatrx amozonian lezibiena dead men in a snuf film
A tree with cut off nut sacks
The quest for a good kind loveing soul
the return of a tortered soul
laughing…
The movie I’m never going to write has
Western Setting
Zombies
Vampires
Androids
Explosive Ammo
Giants
Mad Scientists
GPS and Sattelite Imaging hand cannons