I’m Baptist. So my version of christianity is easier than all that. Just try to live the best you can, and accept Jesus as your saviour, you’re going to heaven. But what if the catholics are right, and we’re wrong? I better start going to confirmation classes just incase. And quit driving, and smoking pot too. And while I’m at it, I should quit my job, and just walk the Earth, like Cane in Kung Fu.
What if a purple leprechaun were to steal your car tonight and rob a chain of convenience stores? I grew up Baptist…those motherfuckers made me feel guilty for listening to the music that I love. I remember this fuck-head preacher with a 9-inch zipper telling me that Pink Floyd w (as if that were a man’s name) was an uneducated idiot because the lyrics to Another Brick in the Wall say “We don’t need no education”. I thought to myself…David Gilmour and Roger Waters are so much fucking smarter than you it isn’t even funny.
a man is looking for the reverend T. Leroy Jones. A cadillac limo pulls up and a large black man in a $5000 suit gets out. The man asks him “are you the rev. T. Leroy Jones?”. The man says “no, I’m the accountant”. Another man in a nice suit exits the auto and he is asked if he is the rev. T. Leroy Jones. He declines and says “no, I am the chief coordinator of operations”. This goes on and on with several other men who exit the limo. Finally, a man in a white suit that was obviously made by a tailor from London gets out. The man is so excited…he says “you must be the rev. T. Leroy Jones!” The man says that he is not. He asks, “well…what do you do?” He replies “I helps with tha fuckin’”