Joey (burping): Guys, I think I’m ready.
Billy: You are?
Joey: Yeah and its a big one.
Joey belches gas again.
Billy: Noice! Get in the crapper!
Joey gets up and walks away and then men watch. After he gets around the corner we hear a large fart.
Billy: We want the money O’Conna! If you don’t give us the goddamn money you’re goin for a swim!
O’Connor: No! Please! I dont want to sleep with the fishes!
Billy: You wanna fuck with Vic Vega?! I’ll show ya who you’re fuckin with!
Joey: Yo guys! I’m done!
CUT TO INSIDE BATHROOM:
The guys all looking into the camera. We pan by each face. Billy is in shock, Angelo looks highly disgusted, Joey looks proud.
Joey: Well, what do ya think?
Billy: I, I…
Angelo: Ive never seen anything like that. I think I’m gonna be sick.
Billy: You gonna name it?
CUT TO:
We see inside the stall. The toilet bowl filled with a huge brown me atloaf.
(Heavenly church organ music plays loudly)
SHOCK CUT:
Men lifting up O’Connor and carrying him into bathroom. OConnor pleads and rambles on. The bathroom door closes. Silence…then a high pitched girl like screaming.
CUT TO:
CU of Don Cocci 's hand dunking his bread in Lou’s terrific tomato gravy. His plate is empty except for half a meatball.
INT- VEGA BROTHERS SOCIAL CLUB
Lou: Some more wine Godfather?
Don Cocci (to be played by Mel Brooks): No! No more. Lou, I’m: (motions his belly is full)!
Vincent: Godfather, me and Vic are honored that you came by tonight. Anything we can do for you, we are in your debt always (Vincent holds his hands together).
(Overly sentimental Italian music begins to play)
CU On Don Cocci’s face
Don Cocci looks as if hes going to speak but starts wildly coughing instead.
(Lou gets up and runs over to Don Cocci)
Lou: Godfather are you alright?!
Don Cocci: Yeah, I got one of those motherfuckin fennel seeds caught down…
Lou rolls his eyes.
Don Cocci (declares): More wine!
Lou fills up Don Cocci’s glass.
Don Cocci moves the glass, grabs the bottle and drinks it down. He finishes.
Don Cocci: Where was I?..Oh yes!
(overly sentimental Italian music begins playing again)
Don Cocci (now stoic): Vincent, when your father passed away…well before he passed away I promised him I would help you boys out. I didnt say anything about you Lou. hahahaha! just kidding Lou, ya old bastard…(stoic again) but I told him that I’d make sure you two boys would be alright. Your father was a good earner and a good friend. Did I ever tell you the story about when we used to get the whiskey from Canada?
Vincent: Uh, yes you did.
Don Cocci: What about when your father assassinated that Sicilian governor?
Vincent: Yes, I heard that one too Godfather.
Don Cocci: Okay, shit…what about the prostitute with the wooden leg?
Vincent: No I never heard that one.
CUT TO:
Lou pouring a big glass of wine for himself as Don Cocci trails off on his lurid story.
p
