TITLE CARD: BROOKLYN 1990
FADE IN
WE SEE THE OUTSIDE OF THE VEGA AND SONS SOCIAL CLUB IN COLOR.
Cars drive by outside of club and we move closer to the door and we hear Dean Martin’s “Thats Amore” playing loudly. The club is closed but the cook Lou (played by Dom DeLuise) is in the back making some delicious food for tonight’s guest. Don Cocci, the local mafia capo.
CUT TO:
CU on man’s hands making raviolis. He dips his hand in flour and twists the pasta confections and places each one on the board.
Vincent Vega walks into the kitchen, hes dressed in a black trenchcoat with nice Armani suit under it.
Vincent: Hey Lou, hows my favorite uncle?
Lou: What do ya need Vincent?
Vincent: Wait a min-
Lou: I’m busy, I dont have time to bullshit right no w.
Vincent: Ok. I need you to make a cake for this girl. Write HAPPY BIRTHDAY GINA on it.
(CUT TO LOU FANTASY SHOT OF him writing Happy Birthday Vagina on cake)
CUT BACK TO REALITY:
Lou: You know we got Don Cocci tonight.
Vincent: I know, I know but I need this thing. Please.
Lou: I only got two fuckin hands here kid. Not three, TWO.
V i ncent: Thanks Lou, youre the best.
Lou: I’m the best huh? Ya fuckin lyin prick ya.
On the jukebox we hear some cheesy 70s disco music come on. Vincent smil es and dances as he walks out the door.
CUT TO:
WAREHOUSE in SOHO, NY.
A group of men sit a round and play cards.
Toothpick Vic Vega is in an office adjacent to the card players talking on the phone. Vic is wearing his usual casual attire: 50s bowlin g shirt, Dingo cowboy boots and a nice black leather jacket.
Vic: Alright Joe. Everythings set, we got the whole shipment ready to go, just a few last checkups and…tell Nice Guy I said to take his head out of his ass. Thanks Joe.
Vic hangs up the ph one and yells out:
Vic: Hey Billy! get in here!
Billy: Whats up Vic?
Vic: Tell the guys to ge t down to O’Connors Bar and get the money he owes us. We arent playing games anymore. If that fuckin Mick doesnt have that green, I want you to stick his head in a fuckin toilet…and not a clean toilet. Tell Joey to go down to Mama Rosie’s Pizzaria and g et an extra large Meatball sub. Then give him plenty of beer. Time it right so he can take a gargantuan dump. .
Billy: Heh, Gargantuan. I like that. Gargan tuan. WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS! Ya ever seen that movie? I loved it! These two huge fuckin ape fuckin things go at it right —
Vic takes out a pack of Red Apples and goes to light his cigarette but he cant find his lighter.
Vic: You got a light?
Billy: S ure.
Billy lights Vics cigarette.
Vic: You’re a good kid Billy. I’ll make sure to tell Don Cocci how you’re doing. If this thing with Joe Cabot works out, I may even have another big job for ya out i n Long Beach.
Billy: Heyyy thanks Vic. I wont let y a down. (he backs out the door, very enthused) I promise!
Vic: You got it.
Vic looks at Billy and puffs on his cancer stick then coughs and hacks and mumbles.
Billy turns around and his facial expre ssion changes from excited to serious then a strange smirk…
Goomba #1 aka Joey Clams at cardtable makes a face like hes just discovered the most nasty stench ever.
Joey Clams: What the fuck is dat smell?
Billy: Sorry, I farted.
Goomba #2: You fahhted?
Billy: I cut the cheese, I fuckin fahhted ya fuck ya!
Goomba #3: Thats fuckin bad. Thats soooo bad.
Joey (spraying potpourri scent in air to get rid of Billy’s super bad fart stink): What did Vic have to say?
Billy: He wants us to pay a visit to O’Connors Bar and get the money. But first he wants yo u to eat a extra large meatball sub and lots of beer.
Joey: Huh?
Billy: I’ll explain in the car. To the Mobmobile gentleman!
We hear 60s Batman like music playing as the gang of goons drive through the city in a big pimped out Cadillac straight out of Superfly.
