A man who owns a gorilla is very afriad that she is sick, so he takes her to the doctor. The doctor tells the man, “You’re right. Your gorilla is sick. She seems to be suffering from depression. All this gorilla needs is some good sex. That should cure her.” So after pondering the dilema, the man takes his gorilla to a black friend of his. He explains the situation to him: “Look, I’ll tell you what. For $500, will you have sex with my pet gorilla?” His friend thinks hard over the situation. After a long moment to think it over, his friend responds: “How long will you give me to come up with the money?”
This one I like better:
A Puerto Rican, a Mexican and a Muslim jump from top of the Empire State Building at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
Who cares?
[quote=“ThaDuke”]
A man who owns a gorilla is very afriad that she is sick, so he takes her to the doctor. The doctor tells the man, “You’re right. Your gorilla is sick. She seems to be suffering from depression. All this gorilla needs is some good sex. That should cure her.” So after pondering the dilema, the man takes his gorilla to a black friend of his. He explains the situation to him: “Look, I’ll tell you what. For $500, will you have sex with my pet gorilla?” His friend thinks hard over the situation. After a long moment to think it over, his friend responds: “How long will you give me to come up with the money?”
[/quote]
good one! ;D
Did you hear about the (your least favorite race or group of people) who had diarrhea?
he thought he was melting.!
there you go Seb…I didn’t offend any body!
Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook. The first old guy said, “My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved his morning, I cut my face.” The second old fogey one-upped him and said, “My hands shake so bad, that when I trimmed my garden yesterday, I sliced all my flowers.” The third old man laughed and said, “That’s nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times.”
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees… Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking."
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q. What does Michael Jackson and a Nintendo have in common?
A. They are both made of plastic and kids turn them on.
Q. What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant
_______________________
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed raging fire pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
‘That’s unfair!’ he cried. ‘I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.’
‘Shut up,’ barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.
‘Who are you to question that woman’s punishment?’
I have two jokes:
Dutchsouthern
Visualsynergy, IlBuono, or whatever the fuck he calls himself these days
I’m not Dutchsouthern, jackass. But thanks for playing. You lose.
[quote=“visualsynergy”]
I’m not Dutchsouthern, jackass. But thanks for playing. You lose.
[/quote]
I was putting the two of you in the same category - two jokes - douchesouthern and yourself being the other.
I love you, Kilgore.
[quote=“visualsynergy”]
I love you, Kilgore.
[/quote]
with the arrival of bonedbydaddy and douchesouthern I am beginning to hate you less. Do you think that it is possible that there is a creation that could outweigh my disgust for those two? Also, how does it feel to no longer be at the bottom of the food chain?
Wow, my appreciation for you just went up 2 points! Wanna go on a picnic together, Kilgore? I’ll buy the booze.
An aide walks up to George Bush, and informs him 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq, today. Visibly shaken, Bush collapses into his chair, puts his hands to his face, and appears on the verge of tears. When he finally composes himself, he walks back to the aide and says “How many is a Brazilian?”
[quote=“Bone Daddy”]
An aide walks up to George Bush, and informs him 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq, today. Visibly shaken, Bush collapses into his chair, puts his hands to his face, and appears on the verge of tears. When he finally composes himself, he walks back to the aide and says “How many is a Brazilian?”
[/quote]
No.
If more of your posts are like that one I’d quit calling you bonedbydaddy. you’ll be upgraded to bonesdaddy. when you make more progress we’ll think about future upgrades.
[quote=“Kilgore Trout”]
If more of your posts are like that one I’d quit calling you bonedbydaddy. you’ll be upgraded to bonesdaddy. when you make more progress we’ll think about future upgrades.
[/quote] And what’s the punchline? Upgrade this, Gilligan.
[quote=“Kilgore Trout”]
If more of your posts are like that one I’d quit calling you bonedbydaddy. you’ll be upgraded to bonesdaddy. when you make more progress we’ll think about future upgrades.
[/quote]
How about Kilgore’smomlovesbigcocksinhermouth? Kinda catchy, no?
[quote=“visualsynergy”]
How about Kilgore’smomlovesbigcocksinhermouth? Kinda catchy, no?
[/quote] It is, I replied.
Neato
I’m done with you three fucking losers.