I guess I’ve got some time on my hands, and I rarely use my drunkeness
for good.
First things first. Visit this site: http://www.screenwriting.info/01.php
then get on google and search out a few more like it. I think there might
be a free screenwriting word processor on the web somewhere too, maybe
someone could shout out the name of it in a reply.
Second remember that as a screenwriter your allowed to use more than
dialogue to advance your story. Your characters say way too much and
you show us nothing. Maybe start the scene by describing the room.
Surround Rod in empty beer cans/bottles, an over flowing ash tray and
fast food containers.
[quote]Rod:it’s been 6 Months since my Abby died in the car crash with my wife sarah in car as well. her brother was driving, he just had his lisense suspended that bastard. next thing they know he’s cutting the radio up louder and he hits a tree my wife and daughter necks snapped cause they always wear there seatbeats.
[/quote]
I would make this the opening scene then pull a “Six Months Later” gimick.
and cut this dialogue. If nothing else at least smooth those lines out a bit.
The first letter in every sentence should be the bigger version of that letter
and when a character asks a question you should end it with one of these ?.
Seem to have forgotten alot of your periods too. Those kind of things make it
hard to get through as a reader.
That’s all I got. I’m by no means an expert so feel free to not taking any advice
I give but at least go to the link I posted, maybe read some real scripts and learn
the format. Then try again, and try again, and try again.