ill give you a tip. learn how to set out scripts. i know most people use script writers. But i type my scripts on Microsoft Word and i type them according to the Austrralian standard for screenwriting. Find the standard for where you are and adher to it, cause you dont necessarily need a script writer. Word suits me fine.
With adhering to the standard you will also learn where to put things such as laughter. putting into spoken word things such as hahahaha or OOOOOOO is just weird. put in the description: they all laugh or they all cringe or whatever you want to, bearing in mind that screenwriters arent supposed to put too much description into things that should be left up to the actor’s interpretation, like that because the actor will do it themselves, that is their job and it is how they interpret it.
and some of the dialogue needs to be doctored in some areas because i have a feeling that you are forcing the dialogue out. Take QT’s advice and just imagine two people talking. let it flow, let it be natural, some of the dialogue sounds a little too forced. Dont take offence though, i know where you’re coming from.
this is all constructive criticism, aimed to further your skills and not to bring you down so dont think i am bagging you out.