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My own script


#1

I’m thinking about writing my own screenplay over the summer when I’m out of school. I know what your thinking a 15 year old writing a movie? But I’ve been writing my whole life and i figure its worth a shot.


#2

Hum, yeah, alright and what’s this post about ? If you’d talk about your idea, it’d be useful but you don’t tell us anything except that you’ll write your own script and that you know we’ll make fun of you because you’re 15.



Don’t be shy, nobody will laugh at you cause you’re 15. A lot here wrote screeplays at this age too. So you can now talk about your idea if you wanna hear feedback :wink:


#3

Yeah your right I gotta get outta of my comfort zone as they call it.



I was thinking of a Drama film where a man arrested for murder makes a plea bargain and has two innocent men arrested. The murder was part of a gang and killing a rival was his initiation in. The gang allowed him to take two higher up guys to watch his back. He kills the rival gang banger and all three make it out of the scene, with the body. They cut the mans limbs off and scatter them around town. The arms were left with Backup guy #1, the legs with Backup guy #2 and the Head and Torso with the rookie. The cops (through a unknown tipster) find out a great description of the killer and knowledge that there was two other men at the scene. The cops arrest the killer and tell him the rival gang bangers family is seeking the death penalty, UNLESS, the killer gives the prosecution info on the whereabouts of the backup guys and the torso and head. You see the family wants to cremate the man whole. So far they have no parts of the body. The prosecution offers: for info about the backups and the body, only 10 years in the pin. For info on the backups, but no body, 20 years in prison. For info on the body but not the backups, the death penalty will not be asked for and he will spend the rest of his life in prison with the possibility of parole after 50 years. To avoid the death penalty he gladly tells them the whereabouts of the head and torso and asks for a week to decide about telling them about the backups. If he rats them out, his five years in prison will be hell since there are plenty of the same gang members in there. He could even lose his life. He decides to rat on two former school friends. You see all three were young hooligans, the two others got straight, but the rookie gang banger did not. They split up over who was going to take the blame for a spray-painting incident when they were kids. The other two testified against the rookie for the cops. The rookie did do the tagging but he was selfish he wanted all three of them to take the blame since they were all there. Anyway he plea bargains against them because they look similar to the very brief description of the real backups. They are arrested and leave on bail only to run away to Mexico to avoid prosection.



What do you think? I would love to hear some feedback!!


#4

where will all this take place? will we see the guys with the body parts. this has potential ‘if’ you add something too it. like twists with the body parts getting in different situations and the guys trying to find them again. Just a guy sitting around trying to make up his mind to plea bargain or not is not very interesting, no matter how taxing the decision maybe. You can have the guy talking and making the decision at the police station, while action takes place between the guys with the body parts. that would be cool. stretch your mind.


#5

I think it could become a great David Lynch script.


#6

[quote=“roulette67”]
where will all this take place? will we see the guys with the body parts. this has potential ‘if’ you add something too it. like twists with the body parts getting in different situations and the guys trying to find them again. Just a guy sitting around trying to make up his mind to plea bargain or not is not very interesting, no matter how taxing the decision maybe. You can have the guy talking and making the decision at the police station, while action takes place between the guys with the body parts. that would be cool. stretch your mind.
[/quote]

Yeah, It is a real work in progress. I like to nail down the main storyline first than work on the twists, turns and sub plots. I was thinking about doing a major sub plot that some how ties in the main story line involving the other members of the gang. Also reveal that the Unknown tipster was actually a fellow gang banger with the man who got shot and gets them back but not by killing them but by the hand of the law. After he see his friend die, he runs away to another town and drops his gang life.



Thanks for the advice and I will think of some adventures for the body parts!

P.S. I was thinking about it taking place in New York City.


#7

New York is the perfect place. Good Luck!!!


#8

Thanks!


#9

You know what it needs…do I really have to say.





Awww, look at the cute pus-brain! He’s a bad boy…yes he is! Coochi-kooh!


#10

Yeah make it a zombie gang movie! That way it can be a grindhouse movie ;D

In the words of christopher walken, "Guys I gotta fever and the only prescription is more zombies! " or something like that…


#11

Sounds like Clever now. A mob guy gets killed and chopped up into pieces. Through

"voodoo or science or something" he gets put back together and seeks revenge on his

killers. It was a fake movie that Christopher on The Soprano’s forced somebody to write

for him.


#12

“its about a wise-guy with a big mouth and even bigger dreams” ha ha. Chris Moltisanti is the best character ever.


#13

[quote=“DexPac”]
Sounds like Clever now. A mob guy gets killed and chopped up into pieces. Through

"voodoo or science or something" he gets put back together and seeks revenge on his

killers. It was a fake movie that Christopher on The Soprano’s forced somebody to write

for him.
[/quote]

Man you don’t have to tell me about the sopranos! It’s a shame Chris never saw the final production. The Voodoo thing sound interesting like they did in Friday the 13th part 5 and 6.

All ideas will be put into consideration.


#14

keep it strictly gangster please. make it a street life piece. zombies… how many zombie movies do you guys want to make??? LOL


#15

Hey, when it comes to zombie movies as long as you can add one new element

it’s worth making.


#16

Yeah. I was thinking about this street life thing 1st and a scary movie 2nd so zombie thing works out great. Kinda my tribute to QT and Robert, My street life movie = Resivior Dogs/Pulp Fiction/Jackie Brown and my zombie film =Planet Terror. Hey the zombie element was kinda used in Sin City and that put Robert on the map!