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My new script


#1

This is the start of my new script entitled: The Fame Brothers. It’s two characters I have in another scipt and loved them so much, wrote this.



The Fame Brothers



INT. ROOM- DAY



Two men are in a small room with only one bed. One on the men is JOHN FAME. He has glasses on and has a gun in his hand. The other man is CLARK FAME. CLARK also has a gun in his hand. There is a woman in the corner of the room with duck tape on her mouth, arms, and legs.



CLARK

Listen miss, this was a random act and you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.



CLARK puts his gun right in her face.



CLARK

Now I could create a hole through the back of your head. If you try to run, you wont make it very far.



JOHN

Stop playin mind games CLARK. I think she gets the fucking point.



CLARK shoves JOHN against the wall, JOHN flies back and hit’s the wall.



CLARK

I’m fucking handling it!



JOHN

An you’re such a great job too.



All of a sudden CLARK turns around and fires his gun. The woman flies back, screaming really loud and JOHN shoves CLARK.



JOHN

What the fuck are you doing!?



CLARK

I saw her move. She was trying to run for it.



JOHN

No she wasn’t! Besides, how could you tell? You had you’re back turned to her!



CLARK

I turned around, saw he move, and fired.



JOHN

No, no, no. You immediately fired after you turned around.



CLARK

I turned around and saw her move so I quickly shot her.



JOHN

She didn’t even move! And if she did, she was probably scratching of something.



CLARK

Alright fine.



CLARK turns around and slowly starts walking to the other side of the room.



CLARK

I’m still not sorry I shot you because I warned you!



CLARK puts his gun in his pants pocket but he shoves it in there to hard and the gun FIRES. The bullet hit’s the girl in the head and she falls over dead. JOHN rushes over and shoves CLARK.



JOHN

What the hell was that for!?



CLARK

I didn’t mean to. The gun went off!



CLARK gets his gun to show him how the gun went off but JOHN grabs it.



JOHN

Give me that before you kill me!



CLARK

Look man, I’m gonna go out and get another hostage. I’ll be right back.


#2

Okay…you just re-created the opening scene from Dusk Till’ Dawn…the scene where the QT character shoots the sheriff and the other part where “the gun whent off”; you just re-created that from Pulp Fiction…when Vincent shoots Marvin in the face. Be a little bit more original…


#3

If you read the rest then you would see that is more original. But this is all I had time to write in microsoftword.


#4

So what’s your story about?


#5

Yeah, the whole I thought she was running?! and the whole dont run part is kinda like FDTD. But its not that bad. And also that there brothers, this is TOO much like FDTD.


#6

[quote=“Snake Charmer”]
So what’s your story about?
[/quote]

If you read the other script I’m working on then you’d get it but I’ll try to explain it a little bit. In the other script John and Clark meet up with this guy Chris who they’ve known for a long time. And in this it basicall explains how they meet and it basically sets up everything else that happens in my other script.


#7

I thought it was more a ripoff of the boardroom dogma scene then transforms into the I Just Shot Marvin scene in Pulp.


#8

Here is the rest so far.



EXT. STREET-DAY



CLARK is walking down a street very casually and slowly looking for a hostage. He pulls out his gun and reloads it but he looks over his shoulder to see that a woman saw him reload his gun. The woman suddenly takes off running.





CLARK

Shit!



CLARK takes off after her but she isn’t nearly as fast as she is so he’s catching up fast. He fires his gun a few times and finally hits her in the ankle, she flies forward and hit’s the ground hard. CLARK walks over to the girls who is screaming in pain and he picks her up.



CLARK

Don’t try to run because you’ll be dead before you can fly forward and hit the and ground. You wont be very good to look at because you wont have a face to look at.





FADE TO BLACK:



INT. ROOM-DAY



JOHN is asleep on the bed and the door flies open. JOHN quickly wakes up and points his gun at the door to see that CLARK is back with the hostage.



CLARK

Why the fuck are you pointing that thing at me!?



JOHN

I’m sorry but when someone bursts through the door, my first reaction would be to shoot.



CLARK

Whatever man. Anyway, sit down right there.



He points his gun at the chair which is in the small corner and the girl quietly sits down.



JOHN

Now let me tell her the procedure okay! You just screw things up. What’s your name little miss.



GIRL

Mu…mu…MARLA.



JOHN

Listen MARLA, we’re on the run from the cops and my brother, whose name is CLARK, for some reason wanted to have some fun today.



MARLA

Are you gonna rape me?



JOHN

No, no, no. Oh and my name’s JOHN.



CLARK

Why the hell are you telling her our names?!



JOHN

Who the hell care if she knows our names or not. And besides, if you hadn’t of just said, “Why the hell did you tell her real names.� then she wouldn’t have known they were your real names. She could have that that they were code names or something.



CLARK

Basically MARLA, don’t move or your fucking dead!



JOHN

Oh great, now she’s scared out of her mind.



CLARK

She was already scared out of her mind. If a guy with a gun takes her and holds her hostage then she’s gonna be scared regardless.



MARLA looks around and does not believe what she’s hearing. She just continues to sit there while the two of them argue.



CLARK

Screw this, I’m going to the store to get something to eat.



JOHN

There are two things wrong with that. One, we are on the un form the cops! Two, there is stuff to eat right here.



CLARK

Yeah but it’s that vegetarian crap. I cant believe you’re a vegetarian. You’re a killer and a bank robber.



JOHN

I’m sorry in your fucking inconvenience but I don’t believe in killing animals just for food! And so what if I’m a killer and bank robber. Hitler was a vegetarian.



CLARK

You don’t have to make shit up man.



JOHN

I’m not man, Hitler was a vegetarian. I swear to god.



CLARK

I still don’t care. I’m going to the store.



JOHN

I think we should be okay anyway. I don think the cops know we’re here in this area at least.



CLARK

I’ll be right back.


#9

This is still too much like every QT movie and…

[quote=“QT Fan”]


CLARK

Don’t try to run because you’ll be dead before you can fly forward and hit the and ground. You wont be very good to look at because you wont have a face to look at.
[/quote]

I don’t like this line, its a little cheesy, and this just sounds… well gay. “You wont be very good to look at cause you wont have a face to look at.” haha, sorry but I found that funny. And in a, OMG thats stupid funny way.


#10

If I were you guys, I wouldn’t be bashing his work too much. Considering most of you are on the same level, or even worse.



But they’re right, I immediately thought of From Dusk Till Dawn, when I read that.


#11

I don’t think thats the only line thats cheesy, most of it is cheesy, the dialogue is too fake, It’s like the characters don’t have a particular mood down it just changes with every thing they say, and they get angry with each other over everything. a If your going to write a movie with these 2 characters arguing the whole time, which is where it looks like its going in my opinion, you really need to make your dialogue more realistic and less annoying.


#12

i thought the about the first FDTD when i just read it , you have to be original , ont try to write like Quentin I know its hard but try to come up with something you would like to see. and i its the same thimg that has already been out there not alot of people would like to see it. I’m not knocking you dude , I’m just trying to help you out okay?