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My First Attempt at Screenwriting


#1

I wrote this back in the tenth grade as my final project for my creative writing class.

Didn’t remember it in the slightest until yesterday when I decided to go through some

of my old High School notebooks. I could only find the rough draft and did a slight bit

of a re-write on it as I typed it into “proper” screenplay format but essentially this is

the first script I ever wrote. It was written shortly after I started drinking and I vaguely

remember the time only because I spent most of the next two years talking about it with

the counselor and didn’t share my writing with anyone for a good four years because of it.



Anyway, It was called “The Freshman” back in it’s day.



INT. GREG’S APARTMENT - NIGHT



We join AMIE and GREG both in their early twenties and in

the midst of one of the worst arguments a couple can

have.



AMIE

Because it was my decision!



GREG

What, so my opinion means nothing?



AMIE

We talked about it and-



GREG

And that’s all we did! You never said you

were actually gonna go through with it!

And I sure as fuck wasn’t done trying to

convince you not to!



AMIE

Well, I did! I made my decision and I

followed through with it! (pause) That’s

what you’re always telling me to do

right? Hold my ground? Not let other

people live my life for me?!



GREG

This is different.



AMIE

How? How is this different?



GREG

Because this is about more than just your

life.



AMIE

Oh, so now you’re gonna get all self

righteous about it? I thought this was

who you always wanted me to be?



Gregg struggles with everything he’s got to maintain his

composure.



GREG

Don’t you dare make me the bad guy in

this. I would have done anything to-



He can’t say it yet, puts his face in his hands and turns

around before walking a few steps away. He can’t even

look at her.



Amie stands there for a moment struggling with the

devastation she’s caused before grabbing her keys off the

kitchen counter and making for the door.



GREG (CONT’D)

Where are you going?



Greg stops her and holds on as Amie tries to push past

him.



AMIE

I can’t do this right now.



GREG

What? You can go through with the murder

of our child, but you can’t handle even

trying to justify it?



Amie pulls herself away and storms out of the apartment.


#2

INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - NIGHT



Amie walks down the hall with tears rolling down her face

as she pulls a cell phone from her purse, pushes a few

buttons and holds it to her ear.



AMIE

Hey.

(beat)

It’s Amie.

(beat)

Yeah, is it cool if I stop by?



INT. GREG’S KITCHEN - NIGHT



Greg sits on a bar stool at his kitchen counter and pours

himself a Polish Car Bomb before downing it and pouring

himself another.



EXT. DARREN’S FRONT STEP - NIGHT



Amie pulls back the knocker and a few seconds later the

door swings open to reveal DARREN O’DONNELL.



DARREN O’DONNELL

Hey, come on in.



She slides in past Darren before he shuts the door.



INT. GREG’S APARTMENT BATHROOM - NIGHT



Greg searches through his medicine cabinet and pulls out

a couple of prescription bottles before returning to the

kitchen with them in hand.



INT. GREG’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS



Greg empties the medicine bottles onto the counter, takes

one of each and crushes them into powder before adding

them to his empty shot glass.



He makes another Polish Car Bomb with the medicine still

in the shot glass and downs it quickly.



INT. DARREN’S HOUSE - NIGHT



Amie balls up a small scrap of toilet paper full of white

powder before putting it in her mouth and swallowing it

down with a beer.



She leans back on the couch and relaxes as EDWIN sits

down beside her. Edwin is both surprised and happy to see

her.



AMIE

Hey.



EDWIN

What’s up? I haven’t seen you in like

five months.



AMIE

Yeah, it’s been awhile.



He pulls a joint out of his breast pocket and hands it

out to her.



EDWIN

Here go ahead and spark that.



She takes the joint from him and puts it in her mouth as

she searches her purse for a lighter until Edwin hands

one to her.



AMIE

Thanks.



INT. GREG’S APARTMENT - NIGHT



Greg sits on the floor between the couch and the coffee

table with the bottle of blackberry brandy in his hand.



His pills are laid out on the table in front of him as he

stares blankly at whatever’s on the television.



He pops another pill into his mouth and sloppily takes a

long pull off the bottle of brandy causing a good amount

of it to dribble down his chin.



INT. DARREN’S HOUSE - NIGHT



Amie is groggy as all hell now and having a tough time

putting the joint to her lips. Five empty beer bottles

are spread out in front of her.



Edwin just watches with an evil/sick smile on his face

until she finally gives up.



AMIE

(handing him the joint)

Here, take this.



EDWIN

You okay?



Amie has a tough time putting her words together and it’s

condition that rapidly accelerates.



AMIE

(defensively)

I’m fine I just don’t feel like smoking

any more right now.



Edwin’s smile never leaves his face as he receives the

joint and takes a drag off it.



EDWIN

(holding in the hit)

You look kinda tired.



AMIE

I feel like I’m gonna pass out.



EDWIN

You wanna go lay down? Cause, I can show

you to the bedroom if you want.



Edwin’s smile get’s a little more evil and just a tad

more sick.



INT. GREG’S APARTMENT - NIGHT



Gregg is out cold on his knees with his face firmly

rested on the coffee table and his now empty bottle of

brandy on the floor still clutched in his hand.



INT. DARREN’S GUEST ROOM - NIGHT



Amie is only slightly conscious as Edwin lays her down on

the bed and begins to undo her belt buckle. She struggles

to stop him with what little she has left before passing

out.



INT. GREG’S APARTMENT - NIGHT



Gregg is still passed out on the coffee table when he

suddenly vomits up everything he’s ingested that night

and slumps to the floor.



P.S. I failed because the teacher said screen/stage plays weren’t acceptable.


#3

makes you wonder ‘what’s wrong with these people?’. you expect something real off the wall too happen soon. good writing. it was the subject matter that failed you. teachers are prudes. If you wrote about love and good things, you would have gotten an A.


#4

I’m currently writing a screenplay too, It’s about a man who goes completely insane from trying to take a closeup photo of the horizon.


#5

This is great, it reminded me of Requiem For A Dream! It certainly has a dark tone to it.


#6

I threw away most of my early stuff. But the first thing I ever wrote (I was 16) was this small scene inside a WW II - cargo plane - with 101st Ariborne. It was about a young soldier named Ike Hillard who signed up at the age of 17 to follow in his father’s footsteps who was killed earlier - a few months before. I called it “Our Somber Days Of Hell” - I quickly gave that up because it’s just too stressful to learn everything about WW II. It’s just way too soon to do something so epic.



I’m almost done with my script, “The Dark Silence” - which is basically about a man trying to reconstruct his life by making amends to a past that he has not let go of, and in many ways a lot of people in real life deal with the same things…just like the poem by Edgar Allen Poe “The Raven” - it deals with the self-torture that we inflict by remembering things that haunt us. And my character finally has the strength to confront it and fight for redemption and forgiveness.


#7

[quote=“Biohazard”]
I threw away most of my early stuff. But the first thing I ever wrote (I was 16) was this small scene inside a WW II - cargo plane - with 101st Ariborne. It was about a young soldier named Ike Hillard who signed up at the age of 17 to follow in his father’s footsteps who was killed earlier - a few months before. I called it “Our Somber Days Of Hell” - I quickly gave that up because it’s just too stressful to learn everything about WW II. It’s just way too soon to do something so epic.



I’m almost done with my script, “The Dark Silence” - which is basically about a man trying to reconstruct his life by making amends to a past that he has not let go of, and in many ways a lot of people in real life deal with the same things…just like the poem by Edgar Allen Poe “The Raven” - it deals with the self-torture that we inflict by remembering things that haunt us. And my character finally has the strength to confront it and fight for redemption and forgiveness.


[/quote]

What’s up with the script you once sold to Lionsgate? I’m thinking you were full of bullshit, were you?


#8

Sort of. It got read but that’s as far as it got. It’s called “Eternal Damnation” and if you’ve seen Treasure Of The Sierra madre, that was my goal to make a contemporary version of it. I haven’t gotten around to rewrite it since I’m still writing DS. But maybe after i’m done with this one I might attempt to make it into a 20 minute short film.



I’m surprised you still remember that…



I have a hardcopy of it, but soon i’ll be rewriting it again. (like anyone cares, but still…) 8)


#9

I’m barely 20 years old so I have a looooong way to go! :stuck_out_tongue:


#10

[quote=“Biohazard”]
I threw away most of my early stuff. But the first thing I ever wrote (I was 16) was this small scene inside a WW II - cargo plane - with 101st Airborne. It was about a young soldier named Ike Hillard who signed up at the age of 17 to follow in his father’s footsteps who was killed earlier - a few months before. I called it “Our Somber Days Of Hell” - I quickly gave that up because it’s just too stressful to learn everything about WW II. It’s just way too soon to do something so epic.[/quote]

Wow, that’s pretty ambitious for a first time project. The kinda thing where you’ve gotta be

really passionate for the subject matter just to get passed the research phase. At least if

you want to be faith full. I think the only way I could do a project with that level of research

was if I was doing a comic book adaptation or something.


#11

Yeah, there’s no way I could have gotten through that.