[quote=“porkfriedrice”]
Im writing a screenplay, the idea is that a boxer gets involved in a gang, he starts out doin stuff like collecting money, but after he saves the gang boss’ life he becomes his bodyguard. Now hes wicked rich and hes addicted to coke. While transporting some money, a car crashes into their car(like in payback) and the money is stolen. But in the accident his legs get severed and now hes crippled. The gang boss sends him a check every month so he doesnt have to work but hes spending all that on coke. He starts haggin out at a bar and becomes friends with these two guys. They decide that they should start robbing liquor stores. This goes well for a while but at one fo the robberies one of the two guys get shot. THey run out with the wounded friend and drive away, but while theyre driving the guy dies so they dirve out to the desert and bury him. The alive friend goes to piss, but while hes pissing the cactrus hes urinating on falls on him and kills him. So now the cripple guy freaks out. He hitchhikes home
and when he goes home the cops come a knockin on his door, so he blasts them away, then goes to the top of his apartment building and pushes himself over.
The boxer/cripple guys name is Jimmy, but i dont know the name for his friends any ideas?
[/quote]
i think that story has potential but it sounds crammed. It will either be really long and the audience will bore of it, or it will be short and the story will seem pressed together and every scene will seem rushed. but there is the chance that if it is longer (the preferrable option) the audience will like it, if its written well. look at the good the bad and the ugly and pulp fiction.