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table of Malcontents
Grindhouse To Be Greatest Movie In The History Of The World
In an otherwise gossipy article about the rating woes waiting ahead for Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s upcoming ultra-violent homage to 70’s sex and splatter films, Page Six managed to somehow put together a mathematical proof that Grindhouse is going to be the greatest movie ever made.
Consider the formula…
“In one scene, a cute, topless girl is roughly tied down on a table by evil female Nazi experimenters who begin draining her blood and, as she screams in agony, they brand her like livestock with a coal-hot steel swastika,” our source said. “And every girl in the Nazi concentration camp is topless.”
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"There’s a part where Jordan Ladd [daughter of Cheryl Ladd of ‘Charlie’s Angels’] is in a car with her boyfriend and giving him [oral sex] when she lovingly reaches to stroke his hair and discovers his neck is just a bloody stump - some maniac had just cut off his head while she was in the act."
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Later, a frisky cheerleader climbs onto a trampoline and begins stripping naked as she jumps up and down until she does a split and her skirt blows up without panties underneath
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Another jolting scene shows a grossly obese man chewing on a baby.
= GREATEST MOVIE EVER.
