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DARKNESS BEFORE DAWN (a living dead anthology)

Darkness After Dawn

I’m currently outlining my next project, which will be a zombie movie. It shares similar structure as Night Of The Living dead, but its much more open, in the sense of setting. The concept deals with post 911 trauma, which is the loss of innocence. Shirley Ulrich and David Wellemeyer venture to the outskirts of London in a remote cabin to evaluate and repair their sagging relationship; amidst this episode a chemical agent was unleashed in an embassy in the city of London, and throughout the night people spread infection throughout the city (a la’ 28 Days), a pandemic is imminent and many people turn into the undead. Now the next morning they return back to the city, and are oblivious to the situation. That is where chaos ensuses and they’re running for their lifes until they reach a two-story house where they seek refuge in an attic. Of course there are other survivors who find that they lack the necessary provisions to survive, so they must find a way to reach a police station which is a safe haven from the undead. I’m beginning to write my new project which is a zombie anthology, and before I share my opening scene I just want to say that my writing is primitive, and not ready. Its just a rough draft.

The scene will be taken out of context if you read it, but let me just give you a quick round up) So the story takes place in Pittsburgh,PA. A mutagenic chemical has been dispersed in a subway station [Japan 94’]. And basically shit’s hitting the fan, and i’m setting up things that are about happen. HERE IT IS. OVER BLACK The sound of ROTOR BLADES are deafening, the sound wanes, as subtle sounds begin to fade in - it is the sound OF A LARGE GATHERING OF PEOPLE, POLICE SIRENS, AMBULANCES, FIREFIGHTERS. FADE IN: EXT. AERIAL SHOT: DOWNTOWN OF A CITY – DAY. Pandemonium in the streets as large mobs of people are controlled, a police blockade covers the entire block where the underground entrance to the subway station is situated; barrier rails and parked police cars keep the worried crowd at a safe distance. TITLE CARD. - DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH. INT. NEWS CHOPPER (hovering) – DAY. A news reporter looks down, transfixed at the enveloping situation below, he is STEPHEN VEGA (34). The camera man prepares his equipment. Stephen yells through the deafoning sound of the engine. STEPHEN Holy mother o’ god, shit’s really starting to hit the fan. . .(to cameraman) Hustle up Ramirez, biggest story of the year and your shit’s still not together! Remind me to replace your salsa-verde ass by the end of the day! RAMIREZ Sorry senor, ready when you are! STEPHEN Been ready all my life dip shit! RAMIREZ You’re on!

From there its mostly exposition, then I cross cut through my characters before the actual scene inside the subway station where the dead come back to life takes place; it’s a pretty awesome action sequence that i’m currently working on. Its an ensemble piece, its nothing like you’ve ever read or seen before in a zombie flick, i’m pretty excited about this one. I’ll post the first act once i’m done.

Cool, looking forward to reading the first Act.

Its nice to see other people’s ideas for the next great zombie film (which I’m sure yours will be obviously ;D)

For a while noe I’ve had this movie in my head. I can’t decide what genre to stick with lol. At the moment, in my head, its this weird mix of action, horror, spy adventure wrapped in a strong psychological drama. Go figure.

Anyway, good luck on that first act!

That tiny bit seems to be pretty good but your description of the

overall script doesn’t reallly sound like an anthology at all.

That tiny bit seems to be pretty good but your description of the

overall script doesn’t reallly sound like an anthology at all.
[/quote]You’re right, its more of an ensemble, I just like the word “anthology”, it sounds so cool.

How’s the script going anyway? Act I nearly done?

So, I have the first ten pages done. It sets up the main character Shirley and it also reveals the dramatic premise. Its still in its early stages so be gentle. Click on the pdf. attachment. . .below <LINK_TEXT text=“ … ttach=2532”>;topic=7166.0;attach=2532</LINK_TEXT>

ACT I is finished. Usually I keep on writing, but this time I think I’ll spend my time rewriting these pages. <LINK_TEXT text=“ … ttach=2544”>;topic=7166.0;attach=2544</LINK_TEXT>

I’m working on reading this right now… I’ll get back to you.: )

You’re a good writer. It’s just that you need more punch in your dialogue and your action needs to be based in the here and now. No “ing’s” if you can help it. He isn’t standing outside. he ‘stands’ outside. Things like that.

Remember, everything is visual. We can’t see what they are thinking. Make your facial descriptions more elaborate. So we can visualize what their faces look like without guessing what they are thinking. Something like: Charles’ face lit up like a christmas tree. not a great example, but colorful and something the reader can identify with and helps too keep his interest.

I didn’t care about any of your characters. no one was interesting. and the news reports droned on and on and on. Get to the point. Move the story on with more action. Just move the story on.

A bit harsh at the end, but that’s what I thought. You can write, long hand. Novel style. But you need to adapt that too screenplay style a bit more. That’s all.

That’s just my opinion.