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A piece of my own script


#1

So, here’s the story. I’ve been thinking a great plot for a script for a long time now and finally made one. Then I started to think all the plot twists etc. and now only the ending is open. I have written done few scenes and now I’d like to share one with you guys, but the problem is that I don’t know where I can upload my .pdf file. So, can you give me a link or something where I can upload it and share it with you?



I’d like to now what you guys think of my writing. It’s not a long scene, about 7 pages long. I would be very content if you would give it a time, read it and give some kind of short swipe, what’s good or bad.



But first I need that link where I can upload that .pdf file.


#2

why don’t you just upload it to http://www.sendspace.com/



and then post the link here?


#3

just upload it to http://www.noonegivesafuckaboutyourgayscript.com


#4

I love that url link’s name.


#5

[quote=“Mr.Pink”]
just upload it to http://www.noonegivesafuckaboutyourgayscript.com

[/quote]



Is that the site where old man fuck?



You kinky New Zealander you!


#6

Is there actually something when you click on it?


#7

[quote=“Mr.Pink”]
just upload it to http://www.noonegivesafuckaboutyourgayscript.com

[/quote]

You could do everyone a favour and stop posting until you’re through puberty.


#8

Let’s all be be Indians and Pilgrims. Not Indians and Cowboys, people.



Anyways. If you want people to evaluate your script, you better look for a site that does just that. I think Zoetrope.com has a place where you can post your work.


#9

I’ll read it, if you post it. That is sort of what this forum is for after all. Just hope you spent a little more time proofreading the script than you did your post.



You can upload to freewebs.com too.


#10

So, here it is http://www.sendspace.com/file/k178j3



It may have some grammar mistakes that I haven’t notice, but consider that I’m Finnish and my english isn’t so perfect. :slight_smile: Thanks to you all who have the time to read that out and comment it.



Have to say Mr. Pink, you’re a funny man.


#11

Since English isn’t you’re language I won’t harp too much on the spelling and grammar but there was too big chunks of dialogue on page 1 where you kept using “somewhat” when I assume you meant “someone”.



Despite the language barrier I think was able to follow along alright. The problem was there really wasn’t anything to follow along with. It’s just a random conversation that doesn’t really tell us anything about the characters apart from the fact that they’re low-level criminals and one was in Sweden for awhile.



There’s also too many blocks of dialogue with no descriptions. You should never have a full page that’s nothing but dialogue unless that dialogue’s very, very good and very, very interesting. Try and make the conversation a little more visual with little descriptions of what the characters are doing so it doesn’t feel like their just standing around talking. Even just adjusting the mirror or letting out a sigh can spark visual images in the readers head that makes things way more engaging.



One last thing. Your “After a Minute and a Half Later” should be a superimposition not a subtitle and it should be done like this:



SUPERIMPOSE: "A Minute and a Half Later"



Then you fade in on your next scene.



Hope I helped.


#12

[quote=“Dex”]
Since English isn’t you’re language I won’t harp too much on the spelling and grammar but there was too big chunks of dialogue on page 1 where you kept using “somewhat” when I assume you meant “someone”.



Despite the language barrier I think was able to follow along alright. The problem was there really wasn’t anything to follow along with. It’s just a random conversation that doesn’t really tell us anything about the characters apart from the fact that they’re low-level criminals and one was in Sweden for awhile.



There’s also too many blocks of dialogue with no descriptions. You should never have a full page that’s nothing but dialogue unless that dialogue’s very, very good and very, very interesting. Try and make the conversation a little more visual with little descriptions of what the characters are doing so it doesn’t feel like their just standing around talking. Even just adjusting the mirror or letting out a sigh can spark visual images in the readers head that makes things way more engaging.



One last thing. Your “After a Minute and a Half Later” should be a superimposition not a subtitle and it should be done like this:



SUPERIMPOSE: "A Minute and a Half Later"



Then you fade in on your next scene.



Hope I helped.
[/quote]

Yeah, with that I was just trying to practice my dialogue writing, nothing big relevant to the story. This is my first time I write a script so first I just practice writing stuff and when I progress enough I may write seriously.



And thanks Dex for your tips, I will keep those in my mind as I write next time. :slight_smile:


#13

Notch down on the refrences, guy.



Quentin.



Ringo.



www.triggerstreet.com



People can help you here. Free to join.


#14

[quote=“G”]
Is there actually something when you click on it?
[/quote]

nah i just made it up