Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Talk dogs! The cult-gangster flick. Everything about Reservoir Dogs, when the KBILLY Supersounds of the 70s continue...
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Bad Max
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Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Bad Max » Sat Jan 13, 2007 1:44 am

New version of the classic thread  ;D
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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by me » Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:06 am

Mr.Pink:You're acting like a first year fucking thief! I'm acting like a professional!
Mr:White:Shut The Fuck Up Donny!
Mr.Pink:[looks at Mr.White]How do you know my fucking name?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe: Hey, who didn't throw in?
Mr. Orange: Mr. Pink.
Joe: Mr. Pink? Why not?
Mr. Orange: He don't tip.
Joe: He don't tip? Whaddaya mean you don't tip?
Mr. Orange: He don't believe in it.
Joe:Throw some fucking money in.What would you do If you were a waiter?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Mr.Orange in the back seat]
Mr.Orange:Im fucking shot,Im fucking dying here!
Mr.White:No your not.Your not gonna die on me okay?
Mr.Orange:[Sits up]Im just fucking with you[pulls out ketchup packet from pocket]man I had you fucking going
Mr:White:[looks at Mr.Orange]Fuck! you got me

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Bad Max » Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:18 am

Mr. White Stuff: When you're dealing with a store like this, they're fuck insured up the ass. They're not supposed to give you any resistance whatsoever. If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's John Holmes, strip him and fuck him in the ass.  Everybody jumps. He falls down screaming, sperm squirts out of his ass, nobody says fucking shit after that. You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but give her a look like you're gonna fuck her in the ass next, watch her shut the fuck up. Now if it's a manager, that's a different story. Managers wears ladies underwear. I'm hungry. Let's get a pizza with cocaine and pubic hair on it.
and some brewski's...

[Fade Out]
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The German will be sickened by us, the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us.

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by me » Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:35 am

Mr.Blonde:[Talking to Nice Guy Eddie]Im gonna start a small fire in your mommas panties
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[cops surround the building]
Cop:Come on out we got the building surrounded
[Mr.White comes out]
Mr.White:Attica!Attica!Attica![crowd starts cheering "Attica!"]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Vince Vega » Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:38 am

What the fuck.

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Bad Max » Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:40 am

;D
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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Bad Max » Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:44 am

[Cue Little Green Bag]

The Reservoir Dogs walk  down the street in slo-mo.

[Sliip!]

Mr.Blonde slips and lands in dog shit...
Mr. Blonde looks up at the others, the record stops playing and title card starts


RESERVOIR FUCKS
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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Seth_Gecko » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:21 pm

"MR. BROWN
Let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy who is an airplane spotter. The entire song-- it's a advertisement for Virgin Air."


"MR. White
Tobey? Who the fuck is Tobey?

Joe
Tobey Maguire! He was the bomb in spiderman yoooooooo!"


JOE
Here are your names...Scary Spice, Ginger Spice, Posh Spice, Sporty Spice, Baby Spice


MR. BLONDE
Alone at last. Guess what! I think I'm parked in a red light district zone. (laughs) Now, where were we?

COP
I told you I don't know anything about any fucking redlight zone. I've been on the streets, being a little whore for only eight months. They don't tell me anything. Nobody tells me shit. You can suck my cock all you want.

MR. BLONDE
Suck your Cock, that's a good-- that's a good idea. I like that one. Yeah.

COP
Even your bitch said there wasn't a redlight zone.

MR. BLONDE
My what?

COP
Your bitch.

MR. WHITE
Excuse me, pal. One thing I want to make clear to you. I don't have a bitch. I don't tell anyone what to do. You understand? (slaps cop) Hear what I said, you son of a bitch?

COP
All right, all right, you don't have a bitch. All right. Now get down on me and be my bitch. I like to get my dick sucked when I am tight down.

Cut to scene with Orange, Freddy

COP
I do. Fuck. Freddy. Freddy. Uh, Freddy. How do I look?

    (Mr Orange laughs)

COP
What?

MR. ORANGE
I don't know what to tell you, Marvin.

COP
That fuck. Oh, that sick fuck! That fucking bastard!

MR. ORAMGE
Marvin, I need you to hold on. There's pimps waiting to move in a block away.

COP
What the fuck are they waiting for? This fucking guy whips his cock out and cums all over my face, and he fucks my fucking ear off! I'm fucking Facialised!

MR. ORANGE
Fuck you! Fuck you! I'm fucking dying here to get laid! I'm fucking dying to get a warm load in my face! You're not to make a move till Ron Jeremy shows up. I was sent in to do him doggystyle. All right? Now you heard me. They said he's on his way. Don't pussy out on me now, Marvin. We're just going to sit here and have cum in our face and ears till Ron Jeremy sticks his fucking cock in your ass.
Last edited by Anonymous on Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Hey Paul! *Wields axe* Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now you fucking stupid bastard!

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Toothpick_Vic_Vega » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:29 pm

This is more like Reservoir Asspirates.

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Seth_Gecko » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:30 pm

PopeyePete wrote: This is more like Reservoir Asspirates.
Hahhaa! :P i knew you would love it ;)  :angel:
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Hey Paul! *Wields axe* Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now you fucking stupid bastard!

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Toothpick_Vic_Vega » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:32 pm

No, but really, these started out imaginative and pretty funny, now its just all bad toilet humor and swearing. Kinda dull. I think I'm done with this stuff for awhile. You guys can keep doin them if ya want though.
Last edited by Toothpick_Vic_Vega on Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Seth_Gecko » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:34 pm

Yeah...everything ends with *cue porn music* Hahaha :P

You are right, it needs to stay in QT style more... ;)
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Hey Paul! *Wields axe* Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now you fucking stupid bastard!

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Toothpick_Vic_Vega » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:36 pm

I think the fun has run its course with this. I'm gettin that feeling like we sorta went as far as we can go. It was fun though! :)

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by me » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:40 pm

Yeah Im running out of Ideas

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Bad Max
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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Bad Max » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:42 pm

It's my fault  :( Im too vulgar
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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Scarface » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:44 pm

Haha, I actually got a kick out of Seth's lines. Especially the Spice Girls bit.  ;D

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Toothpick_Vic_Vega » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:46 pm

I'm gonna take a break for now, when I get inspired again I'll do some too.

Ya know, we should try to write our own script, just for fun. Its more fun than just copying other peoples work. We can do it like the Big Gulp Diction thing, but make it an original story.

If anyones interested let me know.
Last edited by Toothpick_Vic_Vega on Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Bad Max » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:52 pm

Good idea  :D
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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Toothpick_Vic_Vega » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:55 pm

It would be cool to get out of the crime film genre and maybe try a Western, Sci Fi, Horror film etc.

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Inglorious_Bastard » Sun Jan 14, 2007 11:19 pm

That's a good idea 8)

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by me » Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:32 pm

Mr.Blonde:You know I hate fucking cops[looks at LAPD Officer Marvin Nash]
Marvin Nash:I have kids at home please dont
Mr.Blonde:no no no no did I say you could talk?
Marvin Nash:I have money do you want money?
Mr. Blonde:[Mr.Blonde starts laughing] all the money in the world wouldnt be enough for what im about to do to you
Marvin Nash:Please I have a wife!
[Mr.Blonde turns on radio]
Marvin Nash:Oh my god its Country music!
[Joe walks in]
Joe:Jesus what are you doing to him?
[Marvin starts crying]
Mr.Blonde:What? Just having a little fun
Joe:Thats not fun thats sadistic!
Mr:Blonde:You making fun of the music I listen?
Joe:You call that shit music?
Mr.Blonde:Why you little pissant, im gonna kick you so hard your dogs gonna bleed
Joe:Big talk from a country fan. Hey why dont you come over my house and fuck my sister?[Mr.Blonde pulls his gun out]
Mr.Blonde:Thats it oldman[cocks gun]Im gonna paint the wall
[Mr.White and Mr.Pink walk in]
Mr.White:What the fuck is going on here?
Mr.Blonde:[Starts crying] he made fun of my music and I really love the sound of it[starts mumbling]
Mr.Pink:What the...[Pulls out gun and kills Mr.Blonde]Im a fucking professional!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Tristan » Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:50 pm

Seth_Gecko wrote: "MR. BROWN
Let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy who is an airplane spotter. The entire song-- it's a advertisement for Virgin Air."


"MR. White
Tobey? Who the fuck is Tobey?

Joe
Tobey Maguire! He was the bomb in spiderman yoooooooo!"


JOE
Here are your names...Scary Spice, Ginger Spice, Posh Spice, Sporty Spice, Baby Spice


MR. BLONDE
Alone at last. Guess what! I think I'm parked in a red light district zone. (laughs) Now, where were we?

COP
I told you I don't know anything about any fucking redlight zone. I've been on the streets, being a little whore for only eight months. They don't tell me anything. Nobody tells me shit. You can suck my cock all you want.

MR. BLONDE
Suck your Cock, that's a good-- that's a good idea. I like that one. Yeah.

COP
Even your bitch said there wasn't a redlight zone.

MR. BLONDE
My what?

COP
Your bitch.

MR. WHITE
Excuse me, pal. One thing I want to make clear to you. I don't have a bitch. I don't tell anyone what to do. You understand? (slaps cop) Hear what I said, you son of a bitch?

COP
All right, all right, you don't have a bitch. All right. Now get down on me and be my bitch. I like to get my dick sucked when I am tight down.

Cut to scene with Orange, Freddy

COP
I do. Fuck. Freddy. Freddy. Uh, Freddy. How do I look?

    (Mr Orange laughs)

COP
What?

MR. ORANGE
I don't know what to tell you, Marvin.

COP
That fuck. Oh, that sick fuck! That fucking bastard!

MR. ORAMGE
Marvin, I need you to hold on. There's pimps waiting to move in a block away.

COP
What the fuck are they waiting for? This fucking guy whips his cock out and cums all over my face, and he fucks my fucking ear off! I'm fucking Facialised!

MR. ORANGE
Fuck you! Fuck you! I'm fucking dying here to get laid! I'm fucking dying to get a warm load in my face! You're not to make a move till Ron Jeremy shows up. I was sent in to do him doggystyle. All right? Now you heard me. They said he's on his way. Don't pussy out on me now, Marvin. We're just going to sit here and have cum in our face and ears till Ron Jeremy sticks his fucking cock in your ass.
damn!!!! that's gotta be one of the fucking best I've ever read! LMFAO!!!

me, your country music bit is pretty cool too!
Kinda cute, kinda hot, kinda sexy and hysterically funny but not funny-looking signature which you could laugh at

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by me » Wed Jun 06, 2007 2:35 pm

Im running out of ideas...im starting to come up with goofy ones  :-\

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Dantes Inferno » Wed Jun 06, 2007 2:55 pm

Mr. Orange: I'm dying here.
Mr. White: no, you're not gonna die.
Mr. Orange: yes, I'm gonna die, I've read the fucking script.
Mr. White: oh... too bad.

Mr. White: no, he's not the rat.
Joe: yes he is.
Mr. White: how do you know that?
Joe: I've read the script
Mr. White: damnit this is getting out of hand.

Okey, same joke twice, gonna stop now.

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Inglorious_Bastard » Fri Jun 08, 2007 11:32 pm

me wrote: Mr.Blonde:You know I hate fucking cops[looks at LAPD Officer Marvin Nash]
Marvin Nash:I have kids at home please dont
Mr.Blonde:no no no no did I say you could talk?
Marvin Nash:I have money do you want money?
Mr. Blonde:[Mr.Blonde starts laughing] all the money in the world wouldnt be enough for what im about to do to you
Marvin Nash:Please I have a wife!
[Mr.Blonde turns on radio]
Marvin Nash:Oh my god its Country music!
[Joe walks in]
Joe:Jesus what are you doing to him?
[Marvin starts crying]
Mr.Blonde:What? Just having a little fun
Joe:Thats not fun thats sadistic!
Mr:Blonde:You making fun of the music I listen?
Joe:You call that shit music?
Mr.Blonde:Why you little pissant, im gonna kick you so hard your dogs gonna bleed
Joe:Big talk from a country fan. Hey why dont you come over my house and fuck my sister?[Mr.Blonde pulls his gun out]
Mr.Blonde:Thats it oldman[cocks gun]Im gonna paint the wall
[Mr.White and Mr.Pink walk in]
Mr.White:What the fuck is going on here?
Mr.Blonde:[Starts crying] he made fun of my music and I really love the sound of it[starts mumbling]
Mr.Pink:What the...[Pulls out gun and kills Mr.Blonde]Im a fucking professional!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lol, great stuff.

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Tristan » Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:25 pm

Bad Max wrote: Mr. White Stuff: When you're dealing with a store like this, they're fuck insured up the ass. They're not supposed to give you any resistance whatsoever. If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's John Holmes, strip him and fuck him in the ass.  Everybody jumps. He falls down screaming, sperm squirts out of his ass, nobody says fucking shit after that. You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but give her a look like you're gonna fuck her in the ass next, watch her shut the fuck up. Now if it's a manager, that's a different story. Managers wears ladies underwear. I'm hungry. Let's get a pizza with cocaine and pubic hair on it.
and some brewski's...

[Fade Out]
daaaaaaaaamn funny!
I just love the John Holmes bit!
Kinda cute, kinda hot, kinda sexy and hysterically funny but not funny-looking signature which you could laugh at

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Bad Max
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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Bad Max » Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:52 pm

Thank ya!
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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Tristan » Mon Jun 18, 2007 1:27 pm

I just don't really get the pizza bit. I'd have said :
-I'm bored. Let's rape a gimp.
Kinda cute, kinda hot, kinda sexy and hysterically funny but not funny-looking signature which you could laugh at

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Knoxville Kingpin » Mon Jun 18, 2007 1:44 pm

Mr Pink: You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related.
"Im sorry!" - Stuntman Mike

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Re: Lines you ain't never gonna hear in ''Reservoir Dogs''

Post by Knoxville Kingpin » Tue Jun 19, 2007 10:25 am

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"Im sorry!" - Stuntman Mike

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