A piece of my own script

So, here’s the story. I’ve been thinking a great plot for a script for a long time now and finally made one. Then I started to think all the plot twists etc. and now only the ending is open. I have written done few scenes and now I’d like to share one with you guys, but the problem is that I don’t know where I can upload my .pdf file. So, can you give me a link or something where I can upload it and share it with you?



I’d like to now what you guys think of my writing. It’s not a long scene, about 7 pages long. I would be very content if you would give it a time, read it and give some kind of short swipe, what’s good or bad.



But first I need that link where I can upload that .pdf file.

why don’t you just upload it to http://www.sendspace.com/



and then post the link here?

just upload it to http://www.noonegivesafuckaboutyourgayscript.com

I love that url link’s name.

[quote=“Mr.Pink”]
just upload it to http://www.noonegivesafuckaboutyourgayscript.com

[/quote]



Is that the site where old man fuck?



You kinky New Zealander you!

Is there actually something when you click on it?

[quote=“Mr.Pink”]
just upload it to http://www.noonegivesafuckaboutyourgayscript.com

[/quote]

You could do everyone a favour and stop posting until you’re through puberty.

Let’s all be be Indians and Pilgrims. Not Indians and Cowboys, people.



Anyways. If you want people to evaluate your script, you better look for a site that does just that. I think Zoetrope.com has a place where you can post your work.

I’ll read it, if you post it. That is sort of what this forum is for after all. Just hope you spent a little more time proofreading the script than you did your post.



You can upload to freewebs.com too.

So, here it is Free large file hosting. Send big files the easy way!



It may have some grammar mistakes that I haven’t notice, but consider that I’m Finnish and my english isn’t so perfect. :slight_smile: Thanks to you all who have the time to read that out and comment it.



Have to say Mr. Pink, you’re a funny man.

Since English isn’t you’re language I won’t harp too much on the spelling and grammar but there was too big chunks of dialogue on page 1 where you kept using “somewhat” when I assume you meant “someone”.



Despite the language barrier I think was able to follow along alright. The problem was there really wasn’t anything to follow along with. It’s just a random conversation that doesn’t really tell us anything about the characters apart from the fact that they’re low-level criminals and one was in Sweden for awhile.



There’s also too many blocks of dialogue with no descriptions. You should never have a full page that’s nothing but dialogue unless that dialogue’s very, very good and very, very interesting. Try and make the conversation a little more visual with little descriptions of what the characters are doing so it doesn’t feel like their just standing around talking. Even just adjusting the mirror or letting out a sigh can spark visual images in the readers head that makes things way more engaging.



One last thing. Your “After a Minute and a Half Later” should be a superimposition not a subtitle and it should be done like this:



SUPERIMPOSE: "A Minute and a Half Later"



Then you fade in on your next scene.



Hope I helped.

[quote=“Dex”]
Since English isn’t you’re language I won’t harp too much on the spelling and grammar but there was too big chunks of dialogue on page 1 where you kept using “somewhat” when I assume you meant “someone”.



Despite the language barrier I think was able to follow along alright. The problem was there really wasn’t anything to follow along with. It’s just a random conversation that doesn’t really tell us anything about the characters apart from the fact that they’re low-level criminals and one was in Sweden for awhile.



There’s also too many blocks of dialogue with no descriptions. You should never have a full page that’s nothing but dialogue unless that dialogue’s very, very good and very, very interesting. Try and make the conversation a little more visual with little descriptions of what the characters are doing so it doesn’t feel like their just standing around talking. Even just adjusting the mirror or letting out a sigh can spark visual images in the readers head that makes things way more engaging.



One last thing. Your “After a Minute and a Half Later” should be a superimposition not a subtitle and it should be done like this:



SUPERIMPOSE: "A Minute and a Half Later"



Then you fade in on your next scene.



Hope I helped.
[/quote]

Yeah, with that I was just trying to practice my dialogue writing, nothing big relevant to the story. This is my first time I write a script so first I just practice writing stuff and when I progress enough I may write seriously.



And thanks Dex for your tips, I will keep those in my mind as I write next time. :slight_smile:

Notch down on the refrences, guy.



Quentin.



Ringo.



www.triggerstreet.com



People can help you here. Free to join.

[quote=“G”]
Is there actually something when you click on it?
[/quote]

nah i just made it up