funny email I get

The off-topic chat lounge
User avatar
Sebastian
Inglourious Basterd
Posts: 7839
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: Berlin, Germany
Contact:

funny email I get

Post by Sebastian » Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:50 pm

okay so apparently the old topic got lost, I have no idea where it is.

but of course I get tons of emails every day of the "hey quentin" sort, some i just delete, but I'll post those that are truly hilarious
Dear Quentin Tarantino,

I hope this Email finds you in good qualification.

I can help you for mix  Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction continue one narrative the new name is "Popular Fiction".

I Considered all of things about that matter and premier free premier.
Look for ward for yor replay and I`ll to hoo happy to see your prompt answer.
thank you for your time.
my best regards
this one is truly in good qualification ROFL

User avatar
Sgt. Geoi Donowitz
Fucking Professional
Posts: 3690
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 4:14 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Sgt. Geoi Donowitz » Wed Dec 10, 2008 9:21 pm

WHAT?  LOL!
Image
"That's it.  Like my old Granddaddy used to always say, the less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect." - QT- Four Rooms

User avatar
plunderbunnie
Fucking Professional
Posts: 1308
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 6:26 pm
Location: Canada

Re: funny email I get

Post by plunderbunnie » Wed Dec 10, 2008 9:25 pm

Wow.  I don't even fully understand what the email was about.
Do you get a lot of these Seb?
"It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions." - Mark Twain

User avatar
cyber-lili
Fucking Professional
Posts: 5446
Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2004 11:13 am
Location: France

Re: funny email I get

Post by cyber-lili » Wed Dec 10, 2008 11:03 pm

Ahaha. This one is a great piece of art. I didn't understand a single thing. I didn't get the point : what does expect this guy as an answer ? Hum QT commenting about his so-called new and original genre name "Popular Fiction" ? So funny.

Post more, Seb ! (Sorry in advance to make fun of those poor and stupid fans expecting to reach QT ! ahah)
Image

User avatar
Sgt. Geoi Donowitz
Fucking Professional
Posts: 3690
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 4:14 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Sgt. Geoi Donowitz » Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:26 am

Don't apologise Lili!  If these people come across this, then they need to know what arsehats they really are.  It's like doing them a favour.

We have a similar thing at the pegg/frost/wright forum, but it's for admins and mods only.  I wish it was public, but everyone's so nice, I'd hate to hurt anyone's feelings there.  Cos, it's a more selective audience and they sort of judge the guys by the way the admins act, since we have contact with the guys themselves.  A thin line to walk.
Image
"That's it.  Like my old Granddaddy used to always say, the less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect." - QT- Four Rooms

User avatar
Sebastian
Inglourious Basterd
Posts: 7839
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: Berlin, Germany
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Sebastian » Fri Jan 02, 2009 9:22 pm

for Tarantino
-------------------

We gave you music for you films in Cannes film festival 2007- passed our CD  in your hands(music of young talented girl-russian saxophonist, composer) You even did not send a reply as  normal people do.

You are MERDE,Mr Plagiator,  and not Artist .

We came to Cannes espesially to meet you, merde, spent many money and time, people from poor Russia.
Let Got punish you, merde, for heartlessness,lend send evil to you and your family, your relatives.

Dont go to Russia any more-or you will have problems.

FUCK YOU, fucking MERDE!
couldn't resist but post this

User avatar
nublob
Basterd
Posts: 698
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:17 pm

Re: funny email I get

Post by nublob » Fri Jan 02, 2009 9:35 pm

Quentin the plagiator ahahahah  ;D That sounds like some sick sex thing ahahaha

User avatar
Annie Hall
Hard Drinker
Posts: 116
Joined: Mon May 12, 2008 2:33 pm
Location: Greece
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Annie Hall » Fri Jan 02, 2009 9:49 pm

LoL !!!! They probably misspelled their address!

User avatar
cyber-lili
Fucking Professional
Posts: 5446
Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2004 11:13 am
Location: France

Re: funny email I get

Post by cyber-lili » Fri Jan 02, 2009 10:05 pm

OMG, it's getting better and better. This story is So funny. Mr Merde, Mr Plagiator. Russians are crazy people.
Image

User avatar
RatQuiRit
Fucking Professional
Posts: 1432
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:12 pm
Location: France

Re: funny email I get

Post by RatQuiRit » Fri Jan 02, 2009 10:53 pm

Haha great stuff :D
Image
"Grief is idiotic...I choose nothing: It's not better, but grief is a compromise. It's everything or nothing."

User avatar
Lt. BioBasterd
Fucking Professional
Posts: 1881
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:53 am
Location: Milla's Womb
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Lt. BioBasterd » Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:05 pm

Crazy Russians.
Image
Image
"All the billing in the world and the billboards can't do it. It's the people who pay their hard-earned cash across the ticket windows that make stars." - J.L. Mankiewicz

User avatar
Snake Eyes
Basterd
Posts: 895
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 4:45 am
Location: Land of OZ

Re: funny email I get

Post by Snake Eyes » Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:47 am

I find this topic in good qualification
Image

User avatar
Ify
Fucking Professional
Posts: 5484
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 12:51 am
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon

Re: funny email I get

Post by Ify » Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:01 am

Sebastian wrote:
for Tarantino
-------------------

We gave you music for you films in Cannes film festival 2007- passed our CD  in your hands(music of young talented girl-russian saxophonist, composer) You even did not send a reply as  normal people do.

You are MERDE,Mr Plagiator,  and not Artist .

We came to Cannes espesially to meet you, merde, spent many money and time, people from poor Russia.
Let Got punish you, merde, for heartlessness,lend send evil to you and your family, your relatives.

Dont go to Russia any more-or you will have problems.

FUCK YOU, fucking MERDE!
couldn't resist but post this

Hahahah. That was probably the member "Piotr"  ;D

These are his posts:
Piotr wrote: I live in Russia, correctly: Poland. Why Germans, they are just kids if U only compare their nasi to russians. lol. This is a big mistake not think about it.
Piotr wrote: Correct. Russians killed 18 000 000 their own citizens, including countries around Soviet Union between 1928-1953. Read e.g. Aleksander Solzenicyn "Archipelag GULag". And it steel happens. But this aspect of history is too young. In Poland, Litua, Ukraina, people have a problem how to live with that. German Nazis its a fairy-taile, but maybe next Q.Tarantino' film will be about kicking russian asses. :-)
I kid, I kid  ;D


But it's funny how they expected a favour from QT, then turned on him when things didn't go to plan. Speaks in spades of the human condition. What does "merde" mean, anyway? I doubt it means angel  ;D
Image

"Movies are my religion and God is my patron. I'm lucky enough to be in the position where I don't make movies to pay for my pool. When I make a movie, I want it to be everything to me; like I would die for it." - QT

User avatar
RatQuiRit
Fucking Professional
Posts: 1432
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:12 pm
Location: France

Re: funny email I get

Post by RatQuiRit » Tue Jan 20, 2009 6:49 am

merde means shit in French
Image
"Grief is idiotic...I choose nothing: It's not better, but grief is a compromise. It's everything or nothing."

User avatar
roulette67
Basterd
Posts: 813
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 5:34 pm
Location: Jersey Girl
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by roulette67 » Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:43 am

oh, these are priceless. Merde, I'm gonna write one and send it too you too pass on Seb.

"Dear Mr. Tarantino,

I am big fan living in Jersey. Have screenplay for you to read and sex too offer you. Write me..."

signed Jersey Stalker
Image

User avatar
Sebastian
Inglourious Basterd
Posts: 7839
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: Berlin, Germany
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Sebastian » Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:37 pm

I know this is most likely spam, but it made me laugh.
it was an empty email from a russian address, with the following text:
I love you, motherfucker!
;D

User avatar
RatQuiRit
Fucking Professional
Posts: 1432
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:12 pm
Location: France

Re: funny email I get

Post by RatQuiRit » Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:52 am

I don't know if russian people are the same in everyday life, but they appear so crazy to me on the internet haha. I remember reading a story where this guy got mad at one of his friend and told how he "kicked him on the head with a fist", that was one of the funniest text I ever read! I read it a dozen times and it never got old.
And even on this thread, a lot of the "funny emails you get" are from russia. Man I love those guys!
Image
"Grief is idiotic...I choose nothing: It's not better, but grief is a compromise. It's everything or nothing."

User avatar
Sebastian
Inglourious Basterd
Posts: 7839
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: Berlin, Germany
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Sebastian » Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:06 am

I should post more of these. I get so much funny mail...

User avatar
Colonel Trout - the big stick
Hard Drinker
Posts: 165
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:40 pm
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

Re: funny email I get

Post by Colonel Trout - the big stick » Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:38 pm

Dear Quentin Tarantino,

since I discover that I have  fetish for large chin I feel it  necessary to inform you of beautiful paint toenails and delicious bunion-free heels and toes I have.  Is it possible for us  hook up?  I'll bring the Vodka. 

Sincerely,

Monika Strevenski
"from russia with love"
Last edited by Colonel Trout - the big stick on Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
WTF???

User avatar
Sgt. Geoi Donowitz
Fucking Professional
Posts: 3690
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 4:14 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Sgt. Geoi Donowitz » Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:30 am

asshole from el paso wrote: Dear Quentin Tarantino,

since I discover that I have  fetish for large chin I feel it  necessary to inform you of beautiful paint toenails and delicious bunion-free heels and toes I have.  Is it possible for us  hook up?  I'll bring the Vodka. 

Sincerely,

Monika Strevenski
"from russia with love"
;D  "PS: You are hairy... Like ANIMAALL!  Make love to me, monkey man!"
Image
"That's it.  Like my old Granddaddy used to always say, the less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect." - QT- Four Rooms

User avatar
Sebastian
Inglourious Basterd
Posts: 7839
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: Berlin, Germany
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Sebastian » Sun May 24, 2009 3:54 pm

¡¡¡¡TARANTINO YOU ARE A YANKEE-MACARRONI PHYCO SON OF THE BIGEST WHORE!!!!!THAT ALL LIKE YOUR SPECIES,YOU HIDE YOURSELF IN THE CINEMA FOR MAKE YOUR BLOOD AND EXTREME VIOLENCE ORGYS TO MASTURBITE YOU AFTER.AND LIKE THE EXTREME VIOLENCE IS FOR THE BADS OF THE FILM, YO ARE JUSTYFICATE FOR USA, ¿REALLY MOTHER FUCKER?
WHY DON´T YOU MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT THE MARINES DYING FOR ALQAEDA AND THE IRAQUIES, EH? PUTO ASSHOLE.

User avatar
Pete
Fucking Professional
Posts: 2896
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 5:13 pm
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Pete » Sun May 24, 2009 3:57 pm

ROTFL @ YOU ARE YANKEE MACARONI PHYCO

The other one from awhile ago:  "Dont go to Russia anymore or you will have problems"  hahaha!!
Last edited by Pete on Sun May 24, 2009 4:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Lt. BioBasterd
Fucking Professional
Posts: 1881
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:53 am
Location: Milla's Womb
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Lt. BioBasterd » Sun May 24, 2009 6:04 pm

Yikes. The guy's spelling awlufufufuf
Image
Image
"All the billing in the world and the billboards can't do it. It's the people who pay their hard-earned cash across the ticket windows that make stars." - J.L. Mankiewicz

User avatar
cherrydarling
Real McCoy
Posts: 284
Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 6:20 am
Location: Sunshine Coast, Australia

Re: funny email I get

Post by cherrydarling » Mon May 25, 2009 7:20 am

"TARANTINO YOU ARE A YANKEE-MACARRONI PHYCO SON OF THE BIGEST WHORE!!!!!" - I wonder how QT's Mama would feel about that.

"YOU HIDE YOURSELF IN THE CINEMA" - Fuck if QT was hiding in my cinema while I watched a movie, I would be praising the man, rather than sending him abusive emails. What'd he do? Piss in your popcorn or something?

"MASTURBITE" - Ouch!

"YO ARE JUSTYFICATE FOR USA, ¿REALLY MOTHER FUCKER?" - Heck, while I'm at it I'm just gonna make my own language, where spelling is irrelevant, and question marks go wherever I say.

"PUTO ASSHOLE." - You just make me wanna Puto my foot in YOUR asshole. Asshole!

Sum pplz is stoOpid. LoLz!
"Everybody must have a fantasy" - Andy Warhol

User avatar
Lt. BioBasterd
Fucking Professional
Posts: 1881
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:53 am
Location: Milla's Womb
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Lt. BioBasterd » Mon May 25, 2009 2:08 pm

Judging by the last remark, this person is from Mexico or some Spanish speaking country.
Image
Image
"All the billing in the world and the billboards can't do it. It's the people who pay their hard-earned cash across the ticket windows that make stars." - J.L. Mankiewicz

User avatar
Sgt. Geoi Donowitz
Fucking Professional
Posts: 3690
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 4:14 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Sgt. Geoi Donowitz » Mon May 25, 2009 2:12 pm

Lt. BioBasterd wrote: Judging by the last remark, this person is from Mexico or some Spanish speaking country.
Brilliant deduction Watson.
Image
"That's it.  Like my old Granddaddy used to always say, the less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect." - QT- Four Rooms

User avatar
Pete
Fucking Professional
Posts: 2896
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 5:13 pm
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Pete » Mon May 25, 2009 2:41 pm

I liked Yankee Macaroni Phyco so much I had to use it. Thanks Puto Asshole.

User avatar
Lt. BioBasterd
Fucking Professional
Posts: 1881
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:53 am
Location: Milla's Womb
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Lt. BioBasterd » Mon May 25, 2009 2:56 pm

Sgt. Geoi Donowitz wrote: Brilliant deduction Watson.
Hmm, and by the use of your sentence structure I suspect a tone of sarcasm.
Image
Image
"All the billing in the world and the billboards can't do it. It's the people who pay their hard-earned cash across the ticket windows that make stars." - J.L. Mankiewicz

User avatar
Colonel Trout - the big stick
Hard Drinker
Posts: 165
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:40 pm
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

Re: funny email I get

Post by Colonel Trout - the big stick » Tue May 26, 2009 3:29 am

Dear Mr. Tarantino,

You are the son of a motherless goat which makes you the real bastard.
WTF???

User avatar
Sebastian
Inglourious Basterd
Posts: 7839
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: Berlin, Germany
Contact:

Re: funny email I get

Post by Sebastian » Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:00 am

here's another one
I got you in your movies. Sometimes I wonder what you are trying to tell Humanity. Sometimes I wonder that this is not a work of fiction.

I am Buddha, or as Christians know me, he that is True and Faithful, the Word of GOD. My goal is to release humans from the toil of suffering, the illusion of what I call samsara, until their is no war, but PEACE (NIBBANA, HEAVEN, PARADISE, etc.). I have already told CIA, the White House, and the cancer which I call the republican party what I going to do. Do not fear, I usher in this reformation without hurting one individual; my Church or Sangha will acccomlish this goal by purely peaceful methods, methods which I have learnt from my successors, namely Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Spinoza, Socrates, etc.

This messsage has to get to Quentin, George Lucas, James Cameron, and all the scientologists. You are all apart of the Church, the Sangha.

I'm not in the business of takin' prisoners, I'm in the business of killin the REPUBLICAN, and Brothers, Business is BOOMIN'.

You know Sir, I think this may be our Masterpiece.

Find a way to get this to Quentin. The fate of Existence as we know it depends on it.

Buddha.


Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 4 guests