Comedy About Society 1 of 2

The Ethnic Look



The Ethnic Look is important in society today, not being ethnic looking enough can have serious consiquences. I have discovered this on a monthly basis, people can get shallow really quick, too quick, far too quick,come on guys don’t you guys run from that really bright hair or get upset when someone with highlights is successful? That’s a problem! Hair color shouldn’t effect us like that! it’s like a stone wall because of your white ass, Take Rickey Martin for instance, I did an interview and asked three people , do you switch the radio because of his blondish highlights or because the music is bad, the answer is always the same, THE highlights make em turn it off but the music is good- right? It’s the highlights! Clearly Rickey go with your true hair color, I tell you, ever seen that movie Bedazzled? Brandon Frasure wakes up as a Colombian? That’s the look that gets the time of day now and then. Seriously, I spent a half an hour today sniffing my shirt, then I worked my way to my button and then I realized that nice smell was my arm pit because it smelled really good, now if I had long black haired arm pit hairs that smelled as good as me then all that shallow low self esteem behavior would be transformed into an ora of love, which I have anyways, it just needs to be loved a little, bllack arm pit hair but I’m too embarrassed to buy the hair color kit man. You know the old saying, birds of the same armpit hair color, fok together.



And they saw it was good

I want to do a Naitivity scene where you get together a room of a hundred stoners all dressed up from that timeframe and there all smoking pipes with some green and a cloud and a light shining down from the heavens and above in ancient text is a big sign that says “And they saw that it was good” as they smoke it up, because they all testified that it was good bud.



Taking a wizz

TO be specific I think it’s funny when females go wizz in the wild when drunk.

Gotta do a love plug MSN | Outlook, Office, Skype, Bing, Breaking News, and Latest Videos What a way to go

Man electrocuted while taking a wizz near a power line lol

You gotta see, this guy died going pee. lol

IMAGINE CATCHING THAT ON VIDEO HUGE LAUGHS





Mr. Fat Head, sweet or sour?

People with large heads, they will either sour or become enlightened bright with energy like the dalai lama – he has a big head and he is peaceful and non-violent, but some people think that fat heads will sour, that they are more likely to get violent and spread sikness and sour others, but that can all change fat heads, your fat head doesn’t have to sour, it’s ok to love skinny heads and fat heads too.

Mr Fat Head, you could be prone to having a low self esteem and degrading others, but Mr. Fat head think about all you have achieve, know that your mother and father accept you and love you no matter what, no matter how jerky parents can get they always do what they do out of love even if in error, they love and accept. Therefore , Mr Fat Head, you can get much more joy in life from creating success of others, joy from success.





Male Gay Lesbian

I’m straight but I have a new subject,

If I was gay then I would be lesbian gay, like a gay dude who is a lesbian inside and is surrounded by females, that could be called lesbian gay, ever wonder what happens with those gay best friends, are they in secret gay lesbians? Score! Gay males usually have five girlfriends, or friends who are girls,straight guys do to sometimes, or is it all a ploy? Then a male lesbian would kiss like a lesbian under the moon light too and have heart to hearts like girlfriends do, then guys would miss out on nothing-!

I have always been straight but I can tell you that I think equal rights is important, it shouldn’t be up to the state really it should be up to the church, marriage should be out of the federal government’s book, they should just recognize all marriages the same, then let the church decide who to marry. Then the different communities can sue or go to court on a church by church basis.

That’s my opinion, equal rights for all.

I know some people may be wondering about the Man Boobs thing, but I don’t have em, I just thought it was a cool name and I think that man boobs are attractive to woman as long as they are of low proportion, That could prompt criticts, “You can’t be male lesbian gay.” they would wine,

to which one could answer, “Why not, lesbians do it, gays have lot’s of female friends, up to five, they can be male gay lesbians. Sure they can”

Criticts -“Male gay lesbian” friend - “Yes, Male gay lesbian” they stair at eachother, Critict-“With or without man boobs”

Friend -“you be the judge” lifts up his shirt.



Man Boob Bumper Cars The celebrations they showed during the superbowl where men where jumping up and bouncing off eachother was like man boob bumper cars and they were happy being sloppy with something I call beer wet t-shirt contests, how come the cheerleaders weren’t that wild?



My theory is that woman are attracted to man boobs,



There should be a specific measurement for the man boob level,

over a certain weight or curve no longer chick magnets

Captain Kirk, Man boobs,

Sean Connery, Man Boobs,

Vince Vaughn, Man Boobs,

Einstein & Woody Allen, Man Boobs, this explains the phenomonon of woman who are attracted to them.

But not too much man boob.



scurvy pirate date

I spend the afternoon cooking a wonderful dinner and my date came with a fever. After a nice bottle of wine and cheese she became sleepy, what a boring date , I tried to tell her about her feever, this friend usually smells nice but I took a whiff,

my date smelled like a scurvy pirate ship, I’m a limey and decided to offer lemonade, but I knew I had a pirate on board that wouldn’t help itself,

I politly cancled the date night and decided to drink lime and lemon juice, to be a limey, that’s what protects from that kind of thing called scurvy is lack of vitamine C. Then I read an article about Cattie Scurbo, is there some new perfume or lipsticl that smells like a pirate ship and has scurvy as an illegal secret? I don’t know, either way it isn’t her fault. The name Scurbo reminds me of the problem. I wonder if she is a pirate too.





ITIGERS WOODYt’s official everyone is desensitized and and now anyone can say “Tigers Penis!” loundly and ring a triangle in public without being sensored. Now everyone can say “tigers penis” over and over while at the office or at home during any news broadcast. “Tigers Penis” they said it again, ding. It will be a month or two before everyone can speak about “Tigers Woody” as well. This is tabloid media, not news. How about we just take a old fasioned office photo copy of my secretaries ass and slap it on the front page of the newspaper. Or have tiger do it, how about we just have for the first time we could have an entire centerfold section in the newspaper. Tigers Woody, tabloid media





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Some Germans Annoy Me

I’m a British American and some Germans Annoy me

Yeah, “Some” annoy me, not just a little, alot, “Germans aren’t stupid they are engineers”, Ok first of all, germany does have “some” smart engineers, and some pretty damned stupid engineers who just think they are smart, but really they aren’t smarter they just are more evil and have a low self esteem. Somebody needs to address this smarter superiority complex, because I have noticed the really dumb ones talk in loops, because I have noticed the really dumb one talk in loops, loops, j/k who would do that?

I can’t tell you how many germans I have had brews with at the pub and it’s the same conversation from one pub to the next, and then I realized something, they aren’t people, they are sheeple,

They allow themselves to be steared around like sheep even when the shepherd is full of it.

#1 Topics that Germans Talk in Loops at pubs.

  1. Facial Symmetry – they think they are superior because of a germans face, true or false, false, I have seen a lot of Germans that aren’t pretty and pretty damned ugly inside and out compared to many other races. Headline Germans! I’m tired of the same conversations! It’s F N boring as hell, this f n topic, I have heard more about that than I ever care to know, I care about that topic like I care about a yaks ass.
  2. JOHN MAYER “UNREQUITED LOVE IS A BORE” I completely agree!!! IT IS BORING!!!,Boring topic! please stop talking about this topic German people, every pub I have ever been to in the world has some snide idiot thinking it’s ok to discuss ridiculous topics in loops, John Lennon “All you need is Love” , GUESS WHAT, I have some NEWS for you, headlines, Already have love you idiot!!! Lot’s of it, everywhere, it’s a gigantic american fuck fest, love fest and your the exception if you talk like this, ok, yes love love love, Americans have love, English have love, news Jewish people have love, black people have love, Canadians have love, middle eastern people 99% are good people have love, French have love, no more stupid looping converstions please, I’m making a new word unrequittal every time I hear a German mention this topic I’m gonna suddenly disappear, John Mayer “Unrequited love is a bore” because it is a boring topic. Wake up sheeple.
  3. I’m smarter – I can’t tell you how many times I have gone socializing and listen to a German miss the facts completely and still walk away thinking they are firing on all cylinders, um no. no, just poor upbringing, more evil, low self esteem, hyper defensive. It took em fifty years before they figured out they actually had to add shape to there boxy cars. Sheeple, sheeple.
  4. The incompetent german using the incompetence card, oh I can’t stand people who are proven wrong again and again using the incompetence card to control peoples perceptions, they themselves are incompetent, a lot of germans are very competent but the ones that aren’t use this stupid card over and over to control people. Every where you go you run into one, you hear it again and again no thanks hanz you suck the big one.

    I have like five more spot on examples, but I forgot, Incompetent social skills, rational.
  5. If Germans aren’t engineers Germans are paramedics, some pretty dammed dumb paramedics, keep em away,
  6. Your right though Germany did have that one smart guy, Einstein, oh wait he was Jewish.
  7. Pub bigotry, this is what I hear, I’m sorry but I’m a racist when it comes to_____. BLA BLA Oh my God, I can’t tell you the high numbers of Germans who actually try to say sorry before admitting they are a bigot, over and over when I’m socializing, when it comes to _____, just shut up you I have heard the same damned thing, it’s insulting to have an I’m sorry before it. It’s an excuse for evil, you can’t drive a black and gold car because that makes you look like a ____, no don’t have curly black hair because that makes you look like a ____, don’t be from any country they may disapprove or they act against there own prejiduce, I CAN’t stand these people, yes some germans are nice and wise but alot are not smarter just more evil and I’m sick of it, GUESS WHAT? Alot of Germans are by far the most repressed bigots I have ever listened too. Those people who hang swastikas on the wall need to take it down, then I’ll be interested in what they have to say, I can’t tell you the numbers of them that say they are normal but who’s grandma and grandpas stilll have swastikas on the wall, or mother or father. F YOU AND YOUR PARENTS TOO if you think that’s ok, it’s not ok it should be illegal. You know what? I’m sorry, I’m not listening. WAKE UP SHEEPLE, you can’t take the friendly competition, and yes they are friendly, well you should. I’ll listen when the swastikas come down. I’ll listen when the bigotry stops without an fake apologogy, I’ll listen when the 1940 fear mongering stops, I’ll listen when the illegal crimes and mistakes stop against your own people, I’ll listen when they start talking peacefully, I’ll listen when the the people are people instead of sheeple.

    Michael Knight, huge in germany, I can talk like that car “Kit” oooooh yeah, I’m like Michael Knight, I have a little car like Kit and philosophy here Kit voice-“I believe you should use extreme caution” yeah I’m consistent I always use extreme caution, with that cool noise right?(Make the noise) Yeah, I got that, I got that I’m polite like Michael Knight, I always ask politely, I always I.D people, my car does too, Kit-“There is a man over there ten feet from the car, he is about to talk in loops, quick run” “Gee thanks kit” “Thanks Kit for keeping me safe”

    \Play bustah rhymes song fire it up theme from Knight Rider.

    9&10 Then when they get caught loopin they start saying that other people are "“annoying” when the real most annoying thing is looping the same conversations over and over again in order to control people into becoming sheople, that’s annoying, what’s really annoying is when people can’t take the friendly competition and what’s really annoying is when people do anything to get laiid including hurting other people just to get laid, there are more important things in the world like educating, thinking for yourself and family.

    “Looping is annoying”

    Like the one to many conversations about rotating your tires, “yes we all know that” oor annoying conversations about beer and smorgisborgs, yes I have heard it a thousand times, it’s like that poster of an angry wer cat that says, “Don’t tell me something I already know” or a wet dog that looks frustrated. “I alraedy know” don’t be sheople be people.

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This is spam, or a crazy person?

Both.

Yeah, I’m gonna delete all his posts. Is that alright for you ?

Some of these spammers are coming up with some unique and ridiculous techniques.

This guy might be the most ridiculous ever. He’s not even trying to sell anything. I think it’s an attempt at brain washing/mind control.



I like how he equates saying “Tiger’s Penis” with printing a photo of a woman’s ass in a newspaper.

this is genius.

It is kind of mesmerizing isn’t it?

I couldnt be fucked reading that shit.

[quote=“cyber-lili”]Yeah, I’m gonna delete all his posts. Is that alright for you ?[/quote]

Yeah, but everyone’s responses here are pretty funny

Yeah I just saw that, we’ll leave the post then. But we gotta be careful with the next posts from that user.

[quote=“Sgt. Geoi Donowitz”][quote=“cyber-lili”]Yeah, I’m gonna delete all his posts. Is that alright for you ?[/quote]

Yeah, but everyone’s responses here are pretty funny[/quote]
Delete this thread please. Its almost as pointless as your life.

"I want to do a Naitivity scene where you get together a room of a hundred stoners all dressed up from that timeframe and there all smoking pipes with some green and a cloud and a light shining down from the heavens and above in ancient text is a big sign that says “And they saw that it was good” as they smoke it up, because they all testified that it was good bud."



seriously one of the best jokes ever.

[quote=“F.W.”]"I want to do a Naitivity scene where you get together a room of a hundred stoners all dressed up from that timeframe and there all smoking pipes with some green and a cloud and a light shining down from the heavens and above in ancient text is a big sign that says “And they saw that it was good” as they smoke it up, because they all testified that it was good bud."



seriously one of the best jokes ever.[/quote]
Thats strange, I dont find that remotely funny

[quote=“F.W.”]"I want to do a Naitivity scene where you get together a room of a hundred stoners all dressed up from that timeframe and there all smoking pipes with some green and a cloud and a light shining down from the heavens and above in ancient text is a big sign that says “And they saw that it was good” as they smoke it up, because they all testified that it was good bud."



seriously one of the best jokes ever.[/quote]

I was just reading that bit the last time I looked at the thread. I swear I’ve heard a way better version by a stand-up on Comedy Central. Maybe it was a stoner/Last Supper joke I’m thinking about though. I always wanted to see a painting that mimics that Michelangelo painting of the two naked baby angels just about to touch fingers. Except it would be two stoners about to pass a joint.



My favorite one’s the “Scurvy Pirate Date.”

[quote=“cyber-lili”]Yeah I just saw that, we’ll leave the post then. But we gotta be careful with the next posts from that user.[/quote]

I came earlier and was thinking of deleting his posts, but I saw another one in the Inglourious Basterds section that seemed to have something to do with the film and wasn’t sure whether or not I should delete what could be the insane ramblings of a well-meaning legitimate poster. I figured I would read it all when I came back. I still have no idea.

I deleted the Inglourious Basterds one cause in the end it hadn’t much to do with the film, same kind of weird BS.

personally i think it’s Mr. Pink.

I’ve deleted his shit, and will continue to do so if he persists in spamming the boards like this. If he still carries on, we know what to do >:D